OK'd to TCCAL - DH Question

bribri81404

A little background: Have had 10 surgeries for endo and cysts, had surgery in Sept 2010 to remove left ovary and tube. On Jan 20, 2011, BFP, on Jan 27, 2011 emergency surgery, internal bleeding and loss of twins...

So I went this morning to the ob for my official results of the HSG and everything looks great on my right side!! (left side gone from previous surgery) So I am officially ok'd to TTCAL. I know my hubby wanted to wait a year from the emergency surgery to try again. That will be in January. My question is have you ever had to broach this TTCAL subject with an unwilling DH? And how did you go about it?? It's like I'm so happy I got the ok to try and now I'm afraid of talking to DH about it... any help or advice is appreciated!! Thanks ladies!!

briast20

I was afraid to first talk to DH about TTC again.  I knew I wanted to try again right away as soon as it was ok, but I wasn't sure how DH felt.  I just threw it out there and told him how I felt.  He was supportive and said that whenever I felt ready, he was fine with it.  I told him that if we waited a few more months, I would constantly wonder if that time in between would have been the time I got pregnant. 

Good luck, I hope he feels the same you do!

delino

I'm so sorry that you have had to go through all of that surgery and heartache.  Is waiting until January something that he is adamant about?  Maybe just bring up that your doctor said that you can start trying and see what his reaction is.  If he still feels that he wants to wait, atleast he knows what the doctor has said and maybe in time as he thinks it over he might change his mind.

ktsnshn

delino:

I'm so sorry that you have had to go through all of that surgery and heartache.  Is waiting until January something that he is adamant about?  Maybe just bring up that your doctor said that you can start trying and see what his reaction is.  If he still feels that he wants to wait, atleast he knows what the doctor has said and maybe in time as he thinks it over he might change his mind.

I agree with delino. I would try to feel him out and see how he reacts. Good luck!

ella.mabel

Do you know his reason for wanting to wait until January? Maybe that was just a date he threw out there and maybe he isn't as "unwilling" as you think?

I'd probably approach it like "Yay, good news! We're allowed to start trying again!" and say present it like if you start trying now, hopefully you'll get pregnant by January.

Don't be afraid, he'll probably be understanding about it.  You're certainly entitled to your excitment!  Good luck!

bribri81404

Thank you ladies so much for your advice!! I know he is pretty adament about waiting until Jan because he wants to give my body time to heal since he almost lost me and doesn't want to go through that again. And I totally get that! But my doc is saying its ok. I feel I am being silly, but I still don't know how to approach it and your advice helps! I'm thinking I might start it with hey the doctor said... and what do you think about trying now... We'll see how it goes!! Thanks again!!

electricdoctor83

DH and I just sit down and talk about it...we talk about why we want to try, why we want to wait.  We rate how important it is on a scale of 1-10 to TTC or to take a break and whoever has the higher number "wins".

My urge and desire for another child is much stronger than his desire to wait.  So we continue to TTC. 

Good luck. The decision to try again after a loss is so so hard for everybody involved.  My DH has said that the worst thing about our losses for him was to see me so devastated and broken.  He didn't ever want to see me like that again and unfortunately it has happened to us over and over again in the last year.