Feeling selfish

Mrs.Pnut

Please don't flame...

I am feeling so selfish... I am not looking forward to the holidays... so much so I don't even want to decorate and this is my favorite time of year..from now until New Years!

I have been dairy free since my son was 6 weeks old. He is now 6.5 months. It has been challenging, but I've found foods that I can eat, we don't go out, etc, etc. I've adapted.
But the thought of Thanksgiving and all the food that I cannot eat (we have Thanksgiving at my in laws and they are so not supportive), having to go through the holidays without eating all the goodies...  it just makes me so sad. So selfish!!!

Yes, I know I could make stuff to bring that I could eat, but honestly, I am not (never have been) a good cook and the thought is just so daunting....

but I don't have a choice!

And yet, I feel selfish!

Thanks for letting me vent! 

katxattack

I feel the exact same way. Good for you to stick it out this long! I am calling it quits and moving to formula. I feel very selfish...but I can't take the pain of the issues I am having with my boobies anymore. I have been EPing since day 3, dairy/sot free since week 3, and tomorrow with be 10 weeks. I just can't hang. I tried...too many issues. I feel like a failure. A selfish failure.

watermelonmargarita

Have you considered A) talk to your in laws about their options like ALmond milk and dairy free butter? There are so many options for going dairy free. Why dont you have it at your house?

IMO, I would try to cook something you love dairy free. It will give you the boost of confidence that you can cook anything.  I wasn't a very good cook either but I have adapted to my son's allergies. It was tough and takes a few runs but you can do it. There's so much on the web if you google, "dairy free thanksgivin"

My son was 8 months old last year and we were EBFing, it was tough but we made it through. YOU CAN DO IT!

watermelonmargarita

PS

Don't feel selfish. You are human and having to adapt to a new diet can be challenging.

magdusia

no flaming here that's for sure.  The holidays are tough b/c it's all about the damn food.. everything we avoid all year is here all at once to stare us right in the face. it sucks!

Just think that next year you will be able to munch a little. Keep telling yourself that it is only one year (unless you plan on nursing longer).

I have to deal with the Jewish holidays and the Catholic holidays and three sets of parents (my mom / my FIL and his wife / my MIL and her SO... oh and of course the cousins dinners) so i get the holiday dinner practically every weekend come November / December.  I dread it with passion but mainly for my son's sake.

 

cotner

Can you try to build up  a stash?  I'm don't know how long it takes to get out of your system so that could be useless advise... 

lvnbraves

Hang in there and do what's best for you and your baby.  What's best may mean changing to formula and that's okay.  And feel good that you've done it for this long.

In the end, do what's best for your baby AND you. 

faith194

I was a brand new mom and had to endure the elimination diet(dairy and soy) during the holiday season.  MIL would put milk and cheese in EVERYTHING.  At one point, she said "just take the cheese off the top." Not so simple!  I ended up bringing food I knew I could eat.

 

Good luck with your decision! DS has been on Elecare since January, and has done extremely well.

faith194

I was a brand new mom and had to endure the elimination diet(dairy and soy) during the holiday season.  MIL would put milk and cheese in EVERYTHING.  At one point, she said "just take the cheese off the top." Not so simple!  I ended up bringing food I knew I could eat.

 

Good luck with your decision! DS has been on Elecare since January, and has done extremely well.

babyitsyou

I know exactly how you feel:( I went through the same thing last year. It was awful. I was already dealing with PPD and then not being able to enjoy the holidays just made it worse. I suck at cooking too, but the one thing I really wanted was pumpkin pie. I found a faily easy gluten and dairy free recipe. It tasted pretty good. I think you really just have to focus on your child and that you are doing the best you can to keep him healthy. Also, like someone suggested, if you really want to eat whatever you want that day, have a good freezer stash ready. Dairy should be out of your system in 3-4 days. If I ate something questionable I always labled my milk with the date, the questionable food, and how many days since I ate it for 1 week. It didn't make too much of a difference in my son's case, but it did help. ((((((((hugs)))))))))

DandelionMom

You're not selfish.  Not even a little.  The holidays that revolve around food are difficult for a lot of us. 

What helps me is to make a list of my favorite foods and make sure I get them.  It doesn't matter if they're traditional foods (my dairy-free friend is bringing sushi) just that you love it.  (((hugs)))

Mrs.Pnut

thanks everyone!

GoBleu

I've been there.  Last year I was dairy, nut, soy, egg, and fish free from Halloween until Mother's Day.  

One thing that really helped was my DH stepping up for the holidays.  Since he saw that I was doing all the hard work for me and DS, he made me special foods for the holidays (the cinnamon rolls I ate were homemade and the family had storebought ones -hee hee) and worked with his mom to do things like stash away mashed potatoes before she added milk.  I had pretty much everything everyone had at Thanksgiving (turkey, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green beans with dairy-free butter) and DH made a pie with no butter in the crust.  

For Christmas I had ham, veggies, Rice Nog (sold at Whole Foods) and it was really good.  

I know first-hand it is no fun to not mindlessly enjoy all the goodies people put out but you can do it and don't be afraid to ask your partner to help you since you are doing so much for your family! 

g_belle

I cook Thanksgiving for my family and while I control what goes into things- I"m kind of dreading the decision on how much I'm going to make allergy safe and how much I"m going to allow others to cook/bring to dinner.  Also while I can cook a traditional turkey dinner with no problem (I helped my grandma for years before I started doing it on my own)- cooking allergy safe is a whole new ballgame.  I'm afraid it's going to taste awful. 

I'm dairy and egg free for at least the forseeable future and my oldest son is dairy, egg, wheat, peanut and banana free.  And he's too old to leave out of holiday meals- he wants what the rest of us are eating. 

What keeps me going is the knowledge that there's a good chance my sons will be living with their allergies for years if not for life.  And if anyone should know what that feels like- how challenging it can be to find safe restaurants, navigate the holidays, eat at parties etc.- it's their mom. 

TulipsAndChampagne

cotner:

Can you try to build up  a stash?  I'm don't know how long it takes to get out of your system so that could be useless advise... 

This is what I did. And it allowed me to have a few cocktails too. Best.decision.ever.