NBR- restaurant etiquette

LynsiBHM

When you go out to dinner with a group of friends, do you split the bill evenly (i.e. 7 people, split the total 7 ways)  or do you break it up based on what was ordered (i.e. one person ate lobster and 3 glasses of wine while another ate salad and water, so they don't owe the same $$)

Does this opinion change if there was an issue with one of the meals and it was taken completely off the bill?

Just curious to see what everyone thinks..

LadyXaverian

We usually request separate checks. If, for some reason, that's not possible (which has never happened that I can think of..) I imagine we would each just pay for what we ordered.

adoubleu12

Most restaurants these days have the bill split up by seat, so you can just pay for what you ate.  You can just give them the cards and say "This is for seats 1 and 2, and this is for seats 3 and 4." and all is fair.  If that is not an option, I would not pay even if my meal was much cheaper than everyone else's.

jdnemmer

Depends on the friends and their financial situations. If jobless friends eats only salad and water, we itemize. If we're all work friends and we get meals that are relatively the same price, we'll split evenly. I prefer the later because it's easier, no one gets called a cheapskate, and its just a friendlier way to do it.

somanywords

separate checks

skio

Honestly, it depends on the situation and the group of friends. I have one group of friends who almost always splits it evenly when we go out. Another group has a few cheapies in it who refuse to ever split it evenly, even if we all had similar meals and drinks.

I do understand that there are certain times that someone shouldn't have to pay as much, and if someone is on a tight budget, all they have to do is speak up and say that they are only paying for their portion or ask for a separate check, which is what I do if I'm short on cash. No big deal. But I personally prefer to split it evenly to avoid the nickel-and-diming and always ending up short on the bill.

RunningGal900

If it is a place where we are all sharing bottles of wine, meals are similarly priced, I say split it. However, there are times when I would go out and order something small and others would order a large meal and I think it should be split. Once DH and I went out. We each had tacos and one margarita. Our bill should have been $35. We were told we owed $100. Uh, no. Sorry not happening. I don't usually make a big deal if it is only a few $, but I'm not paying $100 for tacos and a marg.

RunningGal900

GhostMonkey:

It's been years since a server hasn't asked how the check was being split when there are more than 3 adults at the table.

I hate splitting evenly unless everyone orders the same thing.

 

When I lived in Chicago places would almost never split the checks. Where I live now (Columbus, OH), they split the check every time, no problem. 

bucklebunny1

I have never been to a place that didn't do separate checks. I have also never split a bill evenly.

M&D06

Most of the time, we're all ordering a meal and getting drinks so we just split things evenly.  It's so much easier that way. 

snoopy5512

It really depends on the group and the situation.  Many times with certain friends we split evenly.  We also take turns paying the whole enchilada.

Some friends we pay for what we ate.  Generally I think if its within a $10 or 20 range split evenly.  If I got a salad and water and you got a steak and killed wine, seperate.

LynsiBHM

this is interesting. Like most of you I think it depends on the situation. But I have never had a waiter ask how the bill was to be split or to seperate it by seat (maybe this is a regional thing? I've eaten everywhere from local pubs to high end places in the city..)

Nechie122

We always split the check because it's easiest.  If you socialize with the same people again and again, it usually works out eventually -- sometimes you over-pay by a few dollars, sometimes you under-pay.   

If you're going to get worked up about that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't be going out to eat as a group.  

If you do end up ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, throw in more money.  But it's gauche for a group of adults to be sitting around for 10 minutes trying to figure out who owes $40 and who owes $45.

I also agree that the separate checks thing must be regional.  Many restaurants in NY won't even do them.

BeetleLinz1125

bucklebunny1:

I have never been to a place that didn't do separate checks. I have also never split a bill evenly.

This.  If we are ordering drinks/desserts usually one person will take the drinks, another dessert/appetizer or leave a bigger tip. 

KariD77

I have never been out to a place that would separate the checks either. I have never done a "split the bill evenly" dinner, and can't imagine doing so... We all eat very different things and drink different amounts. I am not going to pay for my friend to get drunk from her 5 drinks when I only have one myself... There is just no hassel in getting your own checks.. no calculating, no arguing, no worry about what you order and how it will effect the other people

p1nklemonade

if everyone eats pretty much the same thing, yes.  if someone goes for the most expensive thing on the menu and/or drinks a ton? no way.

agytay

Nechie122:

We always split the check because it's easiest.  If you socialize with the same people again and again, it usually works out eventually -- sometimes you over-pay by a few dollars, sometimes you under-pay.   

If you're going to get worked up about that sort of thing, you probably shouldn't be going out to eat as a group.  

If you do end up ordering the most expensive thing on the menu, throw in more money.  But it's gauche for a group of adults to be sitting around for 10 minutes trying to figure out who owes $40 and who owes $45.

I also agree that the separate checks thing must be regional.  Many restaurants in NY won't even do them.

This. I too am in NYC and most restaurants will not split a check 7 ways. 

I don't drink and so when dinning with large groups, the norm in my circle is to have 2 fixed prices -- drinkers and non-drinkers -- regardless of what everyone ordered. The problem that I have found is that when everyone tries to "pay their plate", the bill is always short since people forget to add tax and tip. Splitting the bill evenly usually saves a lot of time at the end of the night.

skio

agytay:

Nechie122:

I also agree that the separate checks thing must be regional.  Many restaurants in NY won't even do them.

This. I too am in NYC and most restaurants will not split a check 7 ways. 

Yeah, it must be regional. OP, you're from MA, so I have to guess it's a Northeast thing that restaurants around here just don't offer this up as a service. I always feel bad asking for a separate check because it's just not generally done and I get the feeling that the servers think it's a pain in the ass. I wish more places would do it without looking like I asked them to cut my steak for me.

LynsiBHM

Scout2005:

For those of you who are saying that places around you won't do separate checks, have you tried asking as soon as you sit down? Just curious.

Once you order, they usually won't do it, but there's  generally no issue if you give them advance warning.

I lived in NYC for four years (moved two years ago) and never had a problem with getting checks split. Even for large parties. As long as we asked before placing any orders, they were fine with it.

Yes, i've done it before by asking a server when we order. Like if no one has cash, we just ask for seperate checks so we can pay by cc. But someone said that places always do the check by seat, or seperate it automatically.. that i've never seen in Boston.

agytay

Scout2005:

For those of you who are saying that places around you won't do separate checks, have you tried asking as soon as you sit down? Just curious.

Once you order, they usually won't do it, but there's  generally no issue if you give them advance warning.

I lived in NYC for four years (moved two years ago) and never had a problem with getting checks split. Even for large parties. As long as we asked before placing any orders, they were fine with it.

Yes. Some places have a rule that they will only split a bill a max of 2 or 3 ways. They are usually upfront about their policies and inform large groups rather early.