Don't touch my baby's head! (repost from 3-6)

tchubirubi

I think I am loosing it. I hate it when people touch my baby's head (I mean, caressing her head, you know, the top, the back). I don't know why, but I do, I so do! I swear my skin crawls - my hairs stand - whenever someone does it. It so bothers me that I am now telling people not to, not caring how completely hysterical and crazy I sound. I'd put a hat on her, but it is just so warm (Brazil). What is that? Anyone else?

kimeve

I'm the same way about his hands, but he puts those in his mouth. Now if a random stranger tried to touch him on his head (or anywhere else), I'd be the same way.

BFab11

My motto, and what I'm teaching DS, is you can touch baby's feet/legs, and that's it. If its someone you don't know, or aren't close to, touching the face, head, or hands is a no-no. When DS was itty bitty I always had him in a carrier in public because I could keep people away. Apparently babies in carseats are public property to people who have no boundaries.

kacelle

I don't mind them touching her head (people seem to like to stroke her hair since she has a lot of it), but I cannot stand for people to touch her hands.  She puts them in her mouth constantly and it's just gross.

angel2288

Ill preface this by saying that i am a Mama Bear when it comes to my kids. If someone comes up and touches LO, i will first politely tell (not ask) them not to...if they do it again...i start rubbing their head. And when they get offended or w/e i tell them "treat others, even babies who cannot advocate for themselves, how you want to be treated"

C-Charm

It's your baby and you have a right to feel the way you feel. Lots of people do.

I never cared, though. DD and I were out A LOT together. We Metro to/from daycare/work during the week and use a carrier daily.   She often got more interaction than a random head caress.  I remember that one gentleman played a rousing game of "keep away" with her after she took off her mitten then dropped it when she was about 6 months old.  She loved the game for quite a while...until she hated it.  Then he gave her  mitten to me.

I wasn't really concerned about germs too much. (Although I did ask people not to play with her right hand 'cause she sucked her thumb for a while.)  I figured that if she didn't like the interaction then she would protest.  If it ever felt off or creepy, then I'd put distance there.  But that maybe has happened once.

If someone gets a bit of joy from focusing on a baby, that can't be a bad thing.  I think the world would be a better place if we could all hear baby coos & giggles more often.

C-Charm

BFab11:

My motto, and what I'm teaching DS, is you can touch baby's feet/legs, and that's it. If its someone you don't know, or aren't close to, touching the face, head, or hands is a no-no. When DS was itty bitty I always had him in a carrier in public because I could keep people away. Apparently babies in carseats are public property to people who have no boundaries.

It's interesting to hear your experience. My experiences were the opposite...once she had enough head/torso control to look up and around. My carrier baby got more attention and interaction than the stroller and car seat babies.  I always figured that it was because she was closer to adult eye level.

BFab11

C-Charm:

BFab11:

My motto, and what I'm teaching DS, is you can touch baby's feet/legs, and that's it. If its someone you don't know, or aren't close to, touching the face, head, or hands is a no-no. When DS was itty bitty I always had him in a carrier in public because I could keep people away. Apparently babies in carseats are public property to people who have no boundaries.

It's interesting to hear your experience. My experiences were the opposite...once she had enough head/torso control to look up and around. My carrier baby got more attention and interaction than the stroller and car seat babies.  I always figured that it was because she was closer to adult eye level.

Once he was older and interacting back with people, he got attention in a carrier as well, but at that point I wasn't as nervous about it (though I still don't want strangers touching his face, even now). I'm talking about the newborn stage, when a carrier means they're just snuggled into your chest.

I found if I took him in the store in his carseat because he was sleeping or something, people would get right up to the seat, talking and cooing to his face (obviously if he woke up at some point). In a carrier, when their face is in your boobs, people keep a healthier distance.

C-Charm

BFab11:

Once he was older and interacting back with people, he got attention in a carrier as well, but at that point I wasn't as nervous about it (though I still don't want strangers touching his face, even now). I'm talking about the newborn stage, when a carrier means they're just snuggled into your chest.

I found if I took him in the store in his carseat because he was sleeping or something, people would get right up to the seat, talking and cooing to his face (obviously if he woke up at some point). In a carrier, when their face is in your boobs, people keep a healthier distance.

I guess you did say "itty bitty."    Sorry. 

 

I've never had anyone try to touch DD's face.  That seems so weird!

hoping4more

I'm totally lurking, but I have taught my 5 year old to only look at babies and to ask "Can I touch your baby?" before she touches and not to touch hands or around mouth unless she asks specifically. She is very very good about this. 

I was waiting for a table with the kids at a restaurant the other night, DH was talking to his colleague who joined us and a lady picked up one of my babies who was sitting by my feet. OMG I was having a panic attack inside as I went over to take her back. She then went on about how she was about to be a grandma. I get it, you're excited about your upcoming grandkid... Don't frickken pick up mine! 

LifesPeachy

BFab11:

My motto, and what I'm teaching DS, is you can touch baby's feet/legs, and that's it. If its someone you don't know, or aren't close to, touching the face, head, or hands is a no-no. When DS was itty bitty I always had him in a carrier in public because I could keep people away. Apparently babies in carseats are public property to people who have no boundaries.

 

Agreed. Although, I don't seem to mind most people who want to touch DD. In a way, I know it makes people happy and there isn't even happy in the world. Don't think I'm all puppies and rainbows over here! I mostly mean elderly people who come up to us at the grocery store. Besides making them happy, I feel like it helps DD learn to interact with strangers.I am not sure I would want her witnessing me being rude or firm with strangers who were one minute happily approaching her and the next backing away because of my reaction. I minded more when she was a newborn though and I was more worried about germs and of course her being less aware of her surroundings.

I had this complete randomly gross person reach right into her carseat on her way down the street in downtown Seattle and touch DD. Now THAT pissed me off!! Its one thing if the person (clean, nice, person) approaches you and makes small talk and then touches DD. Its a completely different story if they don't even interact with you at all and try to touch your baby! Another lady at a yard sale approached me while I was holding DD and clapped her hands and then held them out like I would hand her right over. Um, I dont know you and neither does DD! 

Ps I love your hair Bfab11 ! I wish I could rock that style

missisue

My guideline is this: If I know you well enough to greet you with a hug, then you can hold my baby. Otherwise, hands off. We make sure any kiddos know that they can "pet" her from the tummy down, but they shouldn't touch her hands, face or head.