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Late Term and Child Loss
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Popping over to make an intro.....

Jackie2200Jackie2200 member
in Late Term and Child Loss

Hi Ladies,

I'm so sorry we're all here.  I can only imagine the pain that some of you late term ladies have had to endure.  I hope you don't mind me joining you as I lost my twins alot earlier than you but I feel like I belong here since I had a late loss and my loss still defines alot of my actions and feelings. 

I lost my very-much-wanted IVF twins at alomst 20 weeks.  While on a business trip, I lost my mucus plug and got concerned so I went to the hospital, where I was told that my water broke and I had to deliver immediately because the risk to my health was too great. 

My husband was able to drive the 6 hours to Pittsburgh, through a snow storm, to be with me.  Thank god he was there before I delivered.  I delivered two perfect little boys after a 48 hour induction.  Of course, at 19 weeks, they were too little to make it.  We were devestated and still are. 

I have since had to endure the loss of friends and family as they moved on with their lives and healthy pregnancies and new familys.  I just can't bring myself to be around children, not even my new neice or nephew.  

On the 3rd IVF cycle after losing my little boys, I got pregnant.  I'm 8 weeks today.  I am terrified and scared and so numb to it all--I don't even know my due date and refuse to find out.  I can't live that far in the future.  I feel guilty too as I am happy to be pregnant but I cry every day now because I really wish I had my perfect little boys here.  It's going to be a long road. 

 I'm sorry we're all here but I look forward to walking the path with you.

 Jackie

 


TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
IVF#2=BFN
IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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Re: Popping over to make an intro.....

  • Cercamom2011Cercamom2011 member
    I'm sorry we're all here too.  H&H 9 mos to you!
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • DesiraeSunshineDesiraeSunshine
    ::hugs::
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  • babystinkbreathbabystinkbreath member
    sending lots of hugs for all the feelings coming back but still so very happy for you right now.

    ~Lauren~
    **SAIF always welcome.**
    After 2+ years, 3 losses, 3 surgeries, 2 IVFs and 1 FET our little girl is here.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • mdluv21mdluv21

    huge ((hugs)) I am sure it is terrifying, that is why I have waited this long but I am hoping and praying you have a super smooth pregnancy.

    Thinking of you.

    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
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  • CaroleeCarolee member
    I am so sorry for your losses, and I think what you're feeling now is completely justified after what you've been through.  I do wish you a very healthy 9 months.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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  • illinigalillinigal member
    Unfortunately, I can relate to your story all too well. I hope this pregnancy is your healthy take home baby. I also hope that I'll be afew months behind you getting a take home baby. :)
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • roxyttandmeroxyttandme member

    imagemelisdf:
    I'm sorry we're all here too.  H&H 9 mos to you!

    Took the words out of my mouth! (((hugs))) 

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  • Jackie2200Jackie2200 member

    imageillinigal:
    I also hope that I'll be afew months behind you getting a take home baby. :)

    Me too lady! Me too!


    TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
    IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
    Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
    IVF#2=BFN
    IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • krysiahamatykrysiahamaty
    So, so very sorry for your losses. Happy for you and only hoping for the best for you and your LO. HUGS!!!!
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • leneae10leneae10 member

    (((HUGS))) My story is very similar. 

    Will they be checking your cervix frequently this time?  Many prayers to you.

    image
    Twin boys born too early at 17w4d and 18w2d in February 2010
    Transabdominal cerclage placed September 2010
    DS born at 35w1d in February 2011
    Twin girls born at exactly 36w in February 2013
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Jackie2200Jackie2200 member

    I just read your intro and am so sorry for your loss.  What a horrible experience.  I am glad you have your rainbow baby but understand that you don't feel at peace.  i thought being pg again would make it all better but so far, not so much.  I hope things change but I still feel a huge sense of loss.

    I will be closely monitored this time but they really don't think it was cervical since I had to take 5 doses of cervidil to soften my cervix and had the max dose of pitocin.  They think it was either PTL from the twins or preterm premature rupture of membranes (pprom).  Both of those are fluke events so they hope it won't happen again.  I will be closely monitored though and I insist on being induced at 37 weeks (hopefully I make it that far) to avoid any other complications. 

    Hugs to you.  I hope you find peace.  My twins' urns are just on our nightstand.  i'm curious to learn what you choose for a permanent home for yours.  I want something more formal than what we have now. 


    TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
    IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
    Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
    IVF#2=BFN
    IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • MrsRiceARoniMrsRiceARoni member
    I am so sorry for the loss of your precious twins. I hope that this pregnancy leads to your take home baby.
    imageLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers <a href="http://s41.photobucket.com/albums/e285/DumCaliValyGrl/?action=view
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  • kdp2008kdp2008

    I am so sorry for the loss of your twins, ours were born at 23.5 weeks and although we did have time to spend with them it was all to short and I wish that they were here with us everyday.

    I wish you all the best with your pregnancy.  You are an inspiration to all of us who plan to give our angel babies a sibling.

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Mrs NiceMrs Nice member
    I am so sorry to hear of the loss of you twins. Being pg after a late loss is a hard thing to go through and does take all your strength to stay sane every day. I hope you have an uneventful 9 months, and get your healthy take home baby.

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Third Birthday tickers

    image

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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    So sorry for your loss. Wishing you a healthy 9 months with your current pregnancy.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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