Having a hard time adjusting--anyone been there?-Long

createdwlove

Thought you ladies might understand or have some advice for me. We have a little girl who is 19 months old. Her and I have been inseperable and have had an amazing bond. She loves her daddy too--but I was always the one she ran to or wanted to play with.

We brought home our little boy about 6 weeks ago. At first she was a little confused why mommy wasn't able to be with her all of the time and pouted a bit if I needed to tend to him or feed him. But after I was done feeding/or put him down she'd run right back to me. Now it seems like she no longer cares if I'm in the room. It's all about Daddy-from the minute she wakes up to the minute she goes to bed. If its just us--it seems like she'd rather play by herself and is always asking for her daddy.

I know this is probably something I should have expected and is probably just a phase but honestly its really killing me. I know shes not doing it on purpose--but it still hurts when she seems to not want anything to do with me.

Anyone been there? Does it get better? I know its silly to let it bother me (and probably sounds selfish considering her daddy deserves her attention too) but I cant help it--I miss her.

howleyshell

It gets better.

Consider the first few months until the baby STTN as "survival mode" and try to look on the bright side that she's getting her needs met by someone who loves and adores her as much as you do.

My oldest was actually a daddy's boy and it worked out well once the new baby arrived but it all changed and he became a 100% mommy's boy.  I think some kids ebb and flow with what parent they prefer as different things come into their lives like a new baby or the start of school.

She won't always prefer him.

And then there will be days where you'll be wishing she did. 

krisim

I'm struggling with this a little bit myself.  My DD1 was definately a mommy's girl--even while I was pregnant, she always wanted me to carry her around (instead of dh and ugh.. it killed my back!)...but now that dh has taken over a lot the things that I did with her and is available to play while I'm feeding the baby, she no longer prefers me.  (though she does still love to be in the kitchen when I cook, so I now try to do activities that I know she likes and ask her to help me). 

It's hard to give up that special bond that we had, but I guess it's only fair that dh be the favorite for awhile.  I'm hoping things will even back out after while. 

Beckypooh09

I kind of had the opposite problem. As soon as I got pregnant DS1 wanted daddy over me all the time. Some times he would throw a fit if I tried to hold him when he wanted daddy, which was all the time pretty much. The whole pregnancy was like this and it really sucked some times. He'd be fine with just me but never was really clingy to me at all but as soon as daddy got him he really couldn't care less if I was around. After DS2 was born he's slowly starting to be more clingy to me and some times will prefer me over daddy which is really nice but also tiring. Just give it some time. I'm sure she'll come around. I'm guessing all the change is hard for them at this age so they just cope with it how they can.

Arielle27

I obviously can't give you any advice as I haven't been in that situation yet, but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are feeling bad at such a beautiful time in your life!

Also, I'm sure that your daughter will come around soon and you two will be just as close as ever again! If it's possible, you should try to look at the positives in the situation - that your daughter is growing more independent (when you really need her to!) and giving you and your new child time to bond as well.

Good luck and feel good!