When are you calling relatives?

sarakiefer

This includes parents and siblings.  My immediate family is quite large (mom, dad, stepdad, stepmom, 4 sisters, and 4 step siblings).  Not to mention DH's mom, dad, brother, and 2 sisters will be coming as well.  Our hospital has 2 waiting rooms, which is awesome, but I'm worried about everyone rushing in at once to see and hold LO right after I have him.  My family would have a tendency to literally push their way to be first in line, and I'm sure they will hog the heck out of him.  I can't really blame them since this is the first baby, but I just don't really know how to handle it all.  I think a lot of people would be extremely mad if I waited until after I have him to call.   

What are you going to do?   

chankins14

I will call my little sister when I am convinced I am in labor or when something happens to make us want to go to the hospital, she will be watching DS for us.  She lives 45 minutes north of us.  Then I will call my mom to let her know since my little sister will take DS to her house since she is only 15 minutes away from the hospital (my mom doesn't drive, hence my sister driving down).

I will not call anyone else until the baby is here.  We let people know when we got to the hopsital last time & it ended up being a LONG day of "Is he here yet?" texts. 

sportsmomma

We'll let parents and siblings know when we go in, but only expect my parents, brother and DH's parents to actually come to the hospital to wait. We'll let the rest of the family know when baby arrives (probably via parents), but DH's siblings and maybe my best friend will be the only additional people that will probably visit us in the hospital based on where people live. I think a lot will also depend on what time of day LO is born and such.

KeyLime81

DH's parents and one sister live in town.  The rest (my parents, brothers, SILs, DH other siblings) are about 3 hours away.  We will call everyone when LO is born, but may ask them not to come visit for a while depending on how I feel.  Basically, we've said "don't call us, we'll call you".  Everyone respects that.  My family is low-drama. 

Maybe I'm weird...I don't want people in the waiting room when I'm in labor.  I also don't really want people to know we're at the hospital...I don't want them sitting around waiting for a phone call all day. 

BTW...do your hospitals allow cell phones?  Mine doesn't...any phone calls will be with the hospital phone or via Skype (the hospital does allow laptops and has WiFi)

CamJack mom

Both sets of parents will be called right away since in laws will be watching the older kids. No one else will even know I am in labor until after delivery. I'm not the laid back type so no one would be "hogging the baby". I don't want people waiting in the waiting room, and my hospital has a 2 hour skin to skin time after delivery so no other people will be in the room until she is at least 2 hours old.

MrsT2008

I don't plan on calling anyone besides our parents.  They will have more time than I will to call the rest of the relatives.  DH may want to call his grandparents himself, he'll probably call them right after his parents.

rubyjem00

We will likely call both families after the baby is born. There is a small chance that I will call my mom when I am going into labor because she lives 9 hours away and might want to make the trip up here (DH's family lives within a few minutes). DH and I have talked about this but we will likely talk about it again so things may change.

iluvmylab

I will call my parents and my sister when we are going to the hospital.  Same for DH's mom and dad.  My parents and sister will be at the hospital when the baby is born (not in room though).

indomesticbliss

We don't have family within driving distance, so with our first we called both sets of parents when we knew I was going to be going into labor (around 7 pm), and then once LO was born and we had a bit to pull ourselves together (born at 3:21 am and we called around 6 am our time-7 theirs) since I had some medical issues after delivery it took a little bit. Our families called all of the extended family.

This time, we will have either DH's parents or my parents in town to watch LO and celebrate the holidays, so someone will know immediately. Again, we will call the other set when we are sure I'm going into labor and then oce LO is born.

We never did any mid way through check in calls because a) I was going medication free and the last thing I wanted was to be on the phone or have DH busy on the phone, and b) from the time I started going into active labor-9pm until the time LO was born, 3 am, things went really fast and we didn't have time or the desire to update family during that time.

LMH1209

We'll call the ILs as soon as we know labor is for real because they need to hop in the car from four hours away to stay with DS while we're in the hospital. (We have friends who will watch him until they get here.) DH will probably call my dad once we're settled into the L&D room at the hospital. Siblings will get calls as time permits, either before or after the baby arrives. No one lives in town, so we don't have the risk of anyone camping out in the waiting room.

DiademChi

My in-laws, mother, and brother are all flying in and staying with us before the due date.  They will likely be around when I go into labor, so they'll obviously know when I go to the hospital.  They already understand they are not to follow us and to wait for DH to call them and give them the appropriate time to visit.  The in-laws are very respectful, so I know they'll be patient.  My mom will probably be less patient, but she'll understand the need to let me rest, first.

This is also the first grandchild for both sides of the family. 

KellyAnn911

I will be calling my parents on my way to the hospital because they have to get my dog and bring her to their house.  Whether or not they want to come right away to the hospital is up to them but I've already told them that nobody but DH will be in the delivery room.  After the birth I plan on doing 2 hours of skin to skin time without any visitors. 

As for the IL's, I will probably call them after I give birth.  The longer I have without my MIL there the better.

LaurenRinAtlanta

We're calling after the baby has arrived and after we've had our bonding time. We're team green so we want a couple of hours to process our newly expanded family! Besides, there is no telling what time the baby will be born and there's just no way I would call family at 3 AM in the morning. They aren't coming to the hospital anyway since they live 4 hours away.

Our families asked us to call them when we headed to the hospital and we just vaguely said "We'll see how it goes." If anyone has any issues after the fact (which we doubt will be the case) we'll just state that things were too busy for us to pick up the phone and call in the midst of labor, etc. "We'll see how it goes" has become my standard non-comittal answer for EVERYTHING.... it works so well to get people to shut up.   

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MrsRucinski85

Well our situation is a little different since we are out of state from our families. We will probably call our parents and immediate family when we go to the hospital and right after baby is born. Down here we will call my best friend; her family basically adopted my husband and I into their family and that way she can let all of them know. But since we are so far away from family I dont think they we will have to worry about them crowding up the hospital or anything like that. My MIL and mom plan on flying down when the baby is born... but that'll be a few hour flight so they might not even see us in the hospital.

Linds1224

I personally don't want anybody sitting around the hosptial while I'm in labour waiting. DH and I like to have a little time with just us and the baby before anybody comes to visit. So what we've done with our first two kids and will do again is call everybody AFTER the baby is born and tell them when we'll be up for visitors. My mom and/or sister will be the only ones to know when I am in labour because one of them will be staying with us starting when I'm 38 weeks to watch our other two kids. I had a very fast labour last time so we have to plan ahead and make sure there's somebody here at all times incase we have to run out the door in a rush again. Anyway, it works for us and we've enjoyed having the first few hours with just the baby and us. It's our baby and our decision.

Happily Overwhelmed

I'd love to do it all secretly. However my dog will need "babysat"...or at least let out to go potty. So...I plan to let my mom know when we leave for the hospital.

I'd rather leave it there. I don't want anyone waiting at the hospital and want to be comfortable after LO is here to let others know. I know my mom will be worried so I MIGHT let her know when LO is born but tell her a more opportune time to visit. I hope my DH will wait to call his parents until I'm ready for visitors...They are likely to show up whenever otherwise.

It's important to me to get time to take things in. I want DH, me, and LO to have some time first and I want a bit of time to recover. I don't think that's asking much.

emd2887

Since most likely none of our family members will be in town, we'll just call whenever we feel ready. 

turner215

I gave my little sister a list of people to call so we dont have to deal with constant phone clls and texts and answering a bunch of questions. 

I'm calling my sister on the way to the hospital so that my family and my IL's can be informed.  My Il's will take 3 hours at least to get up to us, but my family is 20 min away.  I dont want them staying in the waiting room all night so only my little sister, mom, and MIL will be there.  Once the baby is born we have 2hr minimum of "bonding time" before the hospital will allow visitors.  So, if we need anything we have people there for my husband to run to, but everyone else will still have plenty of time after baby is born to get to the hospital.  

We are leaving the announcement up to our parents to tell the rest of the family, and they can come visit the next day.  

missyscadoo

I have been thinking about this a lot myself. It took me a while to think of who I would actually want there with me too. A little of it depends on how things go when I go into labor. It took me a while to decide, but I would like to have DH and my grandma in the room when I have our baby. My grandma lives 8-9 hours away, so I promised that I would call her once I knew for sure that I was in real labor. (I don't want to call her unless I know for sure that it isn't a false alarm.) First time labors are supposed to go a long time and if she isn't there with me, at least she will get to see the little one soon after she is born. My mom and I have a rocky relationship to put it nicely. At this point DH will call her after the baby is born. He put his foot down on that one after me admitting that she generally just stresses me and makes things worse (plus the shenanigans she has pulled during this pregnancy are insane). I'm not sure about the rest of the family, and am very interested in reading the posts on here. I may have to leave them out of it b/c of the whole not calling my mom thing, but I don't know. I do want to have skin to skin time with the baby right after she is born and this being the first baby I could see everyone wanting to bulldoze their way in... (my family is huge too and doesn't always get along :S). I guess I'm equally undecided... however, I'm going to bring this up with DH b/c we should probably figure that one out huh? 

kanej

When he's on the way I plan on calling both moms and dads and my auntie who I am close with. That's it. Everyone else can wait till he's here, that includes my brother.

getnmarried910

We will call my parents right away.  They are 1700 miles away and are not coming, so no worries.  They are not on FB, and they will not tell anyone else.  We will call the person who is going to be watching our kids, and if it has to be MIL, she will be instructed not to tell anyone.  My parents, MIL, and our grandparents will get a call after the baby is born.  Our siblings and closer friends will be notified via text message since this worked well for us last time, and all extended family will find out either from other family members or facebook.  My family is huge, so there is no way I could call them all. 

CountingUp

mtb21:

KeyLime81:

Maybe I'm weird...I don't want people in the waiting room when I'm in labor.  I also don't really want people to know we're at the hospital...I don't want them sitting around waiting for a phone call all day. 

This. Everyone will be called after he's here, no exceptions.

 This but it will really depend on the arrival date. My due date according to lmp is the 25th and my ob still refers to that as the date. It might be hard to keep things quiet if we are awol on either the 24/25 - family will know something is up.

 

SHUVUU

The only relatives in the country are our sisters. His lives in Ohio and will come down a few weeks after we get back from the hospital. My sis lives in Houston too and will be in the delivery room with us. Nice and simple : )

Mass-girl-at-heart

I will call them after she's arrived and we are comfortably in our room.  We found that letting everyone know we were heading to the hospital last time didn't work out.

If I'm scheduled for a c-section (breach) we will keep the date to ourselves to keep some surprise alive (and I don't want to deal with antsy family jumping the gun with worry). 

I will call my step mother and let her spread the world with that family then call my mom and let her tell that family.  DH will call his grandparents and his sister.  My FB will have been on lock down for a few weeks by then so hopefully it wont get out that someone knew before someone else.

angiecain01

Our plan is to let everyone know when we are at the Hospital, but not to come until after baby is born and not to text or call we will keep everyone updated..  We have let everyone know that our Son and DH mother (my mom and my DH father passed away several years ago)  will be the first ones in there for time with the baby.  My son is 11 and thinks he is going to be pushed aside so we have let everyone know that he will be first and we will have family time and when that is done everyone else can come.  We are going to let MIL know when we start pushing so she and my son can come to the Hospital and they would be there shortly after she is born.  We just do not want a million people there and as we all know you never know how long labor will take or what will happen.

Madringal

My dad, IL's, my two sisters and DH's sister will all get a call on the way to hospital. Depending on the day/time/if it is a holiday either my sister or MIL will take DD so they would obviously need to know if I am in labor.  Since I am due so close to Christmas my feelings would not be hurt if people didn't come to sit at the hospital and wait, but I don't think I could keep away if I tried.  I have no issues with people coming to visit as long as I can get some rest before I deliver if I need it. 

Leap08

We don't have any family in town, or even anywhere close to us, so there will be no one hanging out in the waiting room. We will call my mom as soon as we are certain I am in labor. She will get on the first available flight so she can take care of our daughter. My daughter will stay with friends until then. I'll  let my mom call my brother and sister. I'm not sure when we'll call my MIL. My husband can decide. 

NNGnome

None of my family are in the country, so we will be waiting to call them after the birth, there is no point in them worrying on the other side of the world.  A couple friends have asked to be told when we go to the hospital, but as pp said I think we will not tell anyone and just say in the rush we didn't have time, neither of them could stay or visit long as they both have young children who are not allowed to visit the maternity ward, so I would rather they come after we get settled with the baby, plus I would want our family's to be the first to know, as they are missing out on so much as it is.

silivren

I'm going for a scheduled C-section.  I figure we will notify everyone after I've come out of recovery and have had time to spend with baby.  I'm going to be in the hospital for a few days so I'm not going to mind visitors.

06hoky

We will call my mom and dad when I go into labor and MH will keep them updated as to how I'm doing.  At my hospital no one is allowed to be in the room for the first hour after baby is born unless I request it and I am not.  They call it the "golden hour" and it's meant for parent and baby bonding time before being bombarded by visitors.  I love this!