Clicky: How much time do you spend 'hands on' playing with your kids

Zenya

So I mean not running errands, watching them play at the playground etc.  I mean sitting down and coloring with them, playing lego, wrestling, reading whatever.  100% focused attention.[Poll]

j-w

This sounds so stupid and I'd probably roll my eyes if someone else said it, but, I am not good at playing.  I don't know why, but I'm just not.

Zenya

j*w*:

This sounds so stupid and I'd probably roll my eyes if someone else said it, but, I am not good at playing.  I don't know why, but I'm just not.

I am not either!!  That's why I'm asking. 

ashleyaugust7

I said 30-60 mins bc I work and there is a lot to fit in after work.

On the weekends it is more like 2 hours.

shouldbworkin

j*w*:

This sounds so stupid and I'd probably roll my eyes if someone else said it, but, I am not good at playing.  I don't know why, but I'm just not.

Me either!  It's gotten better as they've gotten older and we can play games I enjoy and cook and read together (note how everything is something I like to do - lol). 

peekaboo716

It's so hard for me to answer this question. I am a WOHM, so I get limited time with the kids anyway. I would say it's probably close to an hour a day. Weekends would be more. But, I am counting the time when we are sitting eating together, bathtime (so fun when they aren't fighting), reading books before bed. I think all of those things are the quality time that is just as good as "playtime."

Jodi&Joe

I spend at least 20-30 minutes reading at night.  But TBH, that's new for us (as in, start of this school year kind of new!).  So I answered 30-60 since we usually play goldfish or there is SOME other interaction at some point.  But prior to that, my answer would have been the 0-30.

I had two kids close in age for a reason! 

Also, TBH, I think this is relative to whether or not you SAH.  I mean, I see my kids - total - about 2 hours a day.  30 minutes in the morning and from 6-7:30/8 at night.  If I spent that whole 2 hours interacting with them, we would not eat.  The dog would not eat.  They would not be clean (showered).  They would not have their homework done, would not have lunches, would not be ready for bed.  So, yea, you can't really compare 2 hours a day with 10+hours a day.  (Not that my answer would change - because I suck like that and even when I was SAH, I probably was spending about 30-60 minutes interacting with them).

AnnapolisLari

Of course I screwed it up. I said 0-30, but that's per kid, so is clearly at least the 30-60 time frame.

 

Zenya

ok people voting 3-4 hours need to reply and give me more details.  TYVM

august06mom

I'm terrible at playing and I don't really like it. I love reading to DS, so he knows that when he really wants my attention, he just brings me a book and asks me to read it to him and I always will. Otherwise I admit that I often try to "get out of" playing by doing laundry, cleaning, etc. Most of the time, I really do have to get that stuff done. Plus, I feel like I'm wasting time by playing when I should be doing dishes, cleaning, etc.

I'm sick of playing with Hot Wheels. I really am.

katie277s

Jodi&Joe:

I spend at least 20-30 minutes reading at night.  But TBH, that's new for us (as in, start of this school year kind of new!).  So I answered 30-60 since we usually play goldfish or there is SOME other interaction at some point.  But prior to that, my answer would have been the 0-30.

I had two kids close in age for a reason! 

Also, TBH, I think this is relative to whether or not you SAH.  I mean, I see my kids - total - about 2 hours a day.  30 minutes in the morning and from 6-7:30/8 at night.  If I spent that whole 2 hours interacting with them, we would not eat.  The dog would not eat.  They would not be clean (showered).  They would not have their homework done, would not have lunches, would not be ready for bed.  So, yea, you can't really compare 2 hours a day with 10+hours a day.  (Not that my answer would change - because I suck like that and even when I was SAH, I probably was spending about 30-60 minutes interacting with them).

This!  Weekends, I spend more time with them because I have the time.  But during the week, 30 minutes is the max.  L and I usually play a card game or board game before bed, and with M, its more of me keeping him occupied so he doesn't get into anything he isn't supposed to.   

jlw2505

I work full time and my kids are in school.  They get my 100% attention in the morning while getting ready for school and whoever I am driving to school gets conversation with me and after school, it depends.  2x a week they have swim or dance and the others we do come home and play and get dinner ready and all  and on the weekends, it all about the kids.  How much is sitting and playing directly with them - varies greatly from day to day.  I play with my kids but some activites I just don't enjoy - DH is a game person and I could never play a board game every again and be fine.  Other things I love doing with them and DH will pass when he can.  I find the conversation at dinner (we almost always do a family dinner), time in the car and bedtime are my best quality times with my girls as we talk, learn about our days, get silly, read, snuggle, etc.

CleoKitty

j*w*:

This sounds so stupid and I'd probably roll my eyes if someone else said it, but, I am not good at playing.  I don't know why, but I'm just not.

Me neither. To be honest, I hardly ever play with my kids. I used to feel guilty about it but I've gotten over it with time, LOL. They can entertain themselves for hours, they play with each other, with friends, neighbor kids, etc. We do things all day: read books, they help me cook, we run errands together, work in the garden together, go to the playground, take hikes, let them do messy arts and crafts, sing in the car, listen to audiobooks, etc. so it's not as though they don't have any attention from me at all but actual play? Eh, not so much. That's why they have each other. ;-)

 

DandelionMom

Zenya:

ok people voting 3-4 hours need to reply and give me more details.  TYVM

I voted as a total for all 3 kids.  They each get 30 min of reading a day so that's already an hour and a half.  Then there's homework, cooking (esp lunch prep), art projects, pretend play, games/puzzles, etc.  I'm sure it will be less when G's in full-time school. 

CleoKitty

DandelionMom:

Zenya:

ok people voting 3-4 hours need to reply and give me more details.  TYVM

I voted as a total for all 3 kids.  They each get 30 min of reading a day so that's already an hour and a half.  Then there's homework, cooking (esp lunch prep), art projects, pretend play, etc.  I'm sure it will be less when G's in full-time school. 

See, I guess it's partly a matter of interpretation because although I voted in the 0-30 minute category I still do all of those things but wasn't counting them as PLAY. We do lots of normal daily activities together, but I was thinking of playing more as playing doll dress-up, building together with Legos, pushing them on the swing, pretend play, etc.

tanzer13

I said 2-3 hours which I think is about normal for us.  I stay home and we also homeschool.  So, our homeschool time I spend one on one with DS and read, do projects, work on reading/writing etc etc etc.  Depending on the day we usually spend about 1-1 1/2ish hours on that alone.  Then of course there is any other playing games or bed time reading, cooking together and stuff is in there too.  I guess thinking about it I should have maybe gone with at least 3-4 hours...  DS also loves to help me with my 'chores' such as folding laundry, doing dishes, cooking dinner etc.  While that is not 'playing' per say he is still having fun with me and learning. 

DandelionMom

CleoKitty:

DandelionMom:

Zenya:

ok people voting 3-4 hours need to reply and give me more details.  TYVM

I voted as a total for all 3 kids.  They each get 30 min of reading a day so that's already an hour and a half.  Then there's homework, cooking (esp lunch prep), art projects, pretend play, etc.  I'm sure it will be less when G's in full-time school. 

See, I guess it's partly a matter of interpretation because although I voted in the 0-30 minute category I still do all of those things but wasn't counting them as PLAY. We do lots of normal daily activities together, but I was thinking of playing more as playing doll dress-up, building together with Legos, pushing them on the swing, pretend play, etc.

I figured but my kids are older and the hands-on stuff switched from playing barbies to teaching them how to cook.  When they were younger there was definitely more of that kind of playing. 

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JCGreene85

Man, I feel a lot better after this poll. * As I sit here bumping while DS runs around the kitchen with Elmo on in the background* 

mrsekins

This is something I've been forcing myself to do.  I naturally just want to laze around and watch her play, but I know she wants my full, fun attention.   I've spent ALL DAY today on the floor with her, playing every toy, running around the yard - and it's been wonderful.  Something definitely worth training myself to do more.

Carol*Brady2

 I voted 0-30 (each).  I have 3 kids & I am a SAHM for the most part.  I mean I sat down & played every wooden puzzle we had w/ DD3 twice & that took about 20min I would guess.  That's it in a day as far as 1 on 1 play.  I read to them nightly, entertain them (ro-sham-bo, tickle, etc) while the other is in swim lessons, do homework with, set up projects, let them help me cook, etc..but I don't consider it that "play".  They play with each other--that's the point of having multiple kids--LOL!  I do not sit & pretend play with them much ever beyond pretending I'm a baby or that i'm at their tea party...I don't enjoy it.  I set up their playmobil stuff, I'll build them a lincoln log home, help them put on dress up clothes--all things that facilitate play--but I don't actually play "with" them.     

Littlejen22

ashleyaugust7:

I said 30-60 mins bc I work and there is a lot to fit in after work.

On the weekends it is more like 2 hours.

I would assume that with an only child you would spend more one-on-one time because they do not have another child to play with.  My kids play together for hours every day, I usually do not get involved if they are playing nicely, I might sit and watch them but I will not step in.

CubbyMama

I put 0-30 minutes.  I have a really, really, reeeeeeeeeeeallllllly hard time just sitting down and playing with the girls.  Like the first reply said, I feel like I'm just "not good at playing."  I'm too task-oriented and "What does it all mean?" about everything, and I just cannot come up with more than, like, one skit for Barbie to act out before I'm so done with it. 

Sometimes I feel guilty about it and resolve to do more stuff like that with them, but other times, I remember my (incredibly happy) childhood with a mom who never ONCE, that I can recall, sat down on the floor to play with us.  She did her thing and we did ours, but she took us to the library, read us stories, let us help her bake/cook, and things like that.  Those are the kinds of things I do with the girls, too, but DH is far more likely to play Hide & Seek with them than I am. 

CubbyMama

CleoKitty:

Me neither. To be honest, I hardly ever play with my kids. I used to feel guilty about it but I've gotten over it with time, LOL. They can entertain themselves for hours, they play with each other, with friends, neighbor kids, etc. We do things all day: read books, they help me cook, we run errands together, work in the garden together, go to the playground, take hikes, let them do messy arts and crafts, sing in the car, listen to audiobooks, etc. so it's not as though they don't have any attention from me at all but actual play? Eh, not so much. That's why they have each other. ;-)

Ah, this is so me!  I should add that we do storytime for about 20-30 minutes every night, but I didn't count that in my 0-30 because I thought the poll was about actively playing together.

shopgirl78

Ditto Cleo.  I am on the low end also.  I WOH FT.  My kids are awesome at entertaining themselves.  They have live in playsmates (each other) but they also LOVE playing with friends.  When we get home from school, eat and study wall words/homework (which I help them do). They just want to play with friends.  I took them to the park yesterday (+1 neighbor). I pushed DS1 in the swings.  DD hung out with friends and I find majority of my time is helping DS2.  I will try to play a game with DD (DS1 doesn't have much interest in board games) but I get easily distracted by DS2 needs.  I use his nap to clean.     We usually do nightly books. DS1 likes to help me cook but he is the only one.   All their needs are meet.  They are very loved, they are cleaned, they are clothed, we get done what we need too and do some fun stuff.  I'm happy, they are happy.  No worries. Sometimes I wish I had more time...

canhardlywait1

Thank god!  I was afraid to vote and look at the results of this...  I work and travel for work and do all the cooking, cleaning, and shopping.  It's just the way we are. My husband is the player.  They make up games (mostly chase games) like duck duck monster.  I run around like a mad woman from 6:30 am to 9.  I am good at doing an activity with the kids but playing pretend - not so much....

 

sunandsand

On the 4 days a week I work, its 1.5 hours...from the time dinner is ready until bed. But its not playing exclusively, he just has my full attention with no cleaning or bumping. Its eating, bath, pajamas, books, songs, and rocking. 

On our 3 day weekends, its several hours. And honestly, its probably a bad thing. He is horrible about playing on his own for more than 5 minutes and he can't be left alone long because he is a climber.  He gets about 3 shows each day when I can bump/fb/clean/cook, but otherwise I am outside on a walk, playing in the communal back yard (townhome), coloring, doing chalk, reading books, playing with cars, at a playgym, etc. We are sincerely working on getting him to play on his own more and I hope when he gets a new sister this will help when she is a little older.