SAHMS: Do you try and have things a certain way for your DH when he gets home?

Zenya

Examples:

Do you try and look nice?

Have the kids look nice/behaving a certain way?

Have the place clean?

Have dinner underway?

etc

Dr. Laura is getting to me  

justEK

Um no... He's just glad I'm still here when he gets here. lol Kidding, but dinner is always started and sometimes I have the kids pick up the toys from the livingroom. But, he does nice things for me, too.

DandRAgain

I get myself ready in the morning...I don't "freshen up" before DH gets home.

My kids behave the way they behave...I can't control that. 

I do try to pick up the place before DH gets home.  But I don't freak out about it.  But there is no reason to have breakfast dishes in the sink when he gets home....you know??  My cleaning is lacking somewhat (besides the fact that we are trying to sell the house, so I've been forced to be a bit more aggressive with the cleaning).  But does DH care if he came home to dishes in the sink???  Or toys in the living room?? No...at least I don't think so.

Dinner--yes....DH gets home late, so I usually have dinner on the table or about on the table when he gets home.  Otherwise my kids would eat late, shower late, go to bed late, etc, etc, etc.  However, sometimes DH runs late at work....so the kids and I sit down and eat without him, or we are eating when he gets home....so its not like dinner hinges on DH.

I'm far from a 50's housewife....but I don't think the things I DO do are "old fashioned"....just the nature of me being home and DH being at work all day....

rookiemom

Yes, I greet him with a gimlet and I make the children sit on their hands so they don't risk annoying him.  And I make sure not to talk about anything that is stressing me out because he's had a long hard day at the office.  

  

Kapalua

DandRAgain:

I get myself ready in the morning...I don't "freshen up" before DH gets home.

My kids behave the way they behave...I can't control that. 

I do try to pick up the place before DH gets home.  But I don't freak out about it.  But there is no reason to have breakfast dishes in the sink when he gets home....you know??  My cleaning is lacking somewhat (besides the fact that we are trying to sell the house, so I've been forced to be a bit more aggressive with the cleaning).  But does DH care if he came home to dishes in the sink???  Or toys in the living room?? No...at least I don't think so.

Dinner--yes....DH gets home late, so I usually have dinner on the table or about on the table when he gets home.  Otherwise my kids would eat late, shower late, go to bed late, etc, etc, etc.  However, sometimes DH runs late at work....so the kids and I sit down and eat without him, or we are eating when he gets home....so its not like dinner hinges on DH.

I'm far from a 50's housewife....but I don't think the things I DO do are "old fashioned"....just the nature of me being home and DH being at work all day....

pretty much this.

and Dr. Laura can suck it...she's a nut ball

Mickschick

DH works until 8pm most nights...and the nights he is scheduled earlier than that he gets stuck staying late a lot so the kids are usually in bed when he gets home. (He has a very weird schedule which some days he goes in at 12pm so it's not like the kids never see him).

 I try to have the dishes done when he gets home (even though they are still on the counter drying), dinner is obviously already done (we always eat without him) and his plate is made and in the microwave. I usually have the house picked up because the kids and I (Mostly I) pick up everything before the kids go to bed.

kcisthebombdotcom

I consider it a victory if everyone in the house is still alive when DH comes home from work.

penguingrrl

I try to have dinner ready or close when I can, but that's because we like to eat as a family but he comes in late, so it's rushed if we want the kids in bed at a reasonable hour.

 

Zenya

See, today I was kind of Dr. Laura'y' but not intentionally.. just the way the day worked out.  And honestly we had SUCH a nice evening vs how things usually are.

I fear Dr. Laura might be onto something.   

eclaires

hahaha.  OMG, no.

First of all, MH is on this work from home kick (that, btw, DRIVES ME INSANE - GO TO WORK, LEAVE US ALONE.  The kids act crazier when he is here during the week - the upside is I can sneak out at naptime...), so he is here and will frequently help with meal times if he's eating when the kids are eating.  Sometimes he even gets up with them and lets me sleep in.

This also means that he helps with dinner prep.  He actually does most of the cooking, anyhow.  I do all the meal planning and shopping, but he does the actual cooking.

Also, even when he is at work, I tend to do most cleanup when the kids are in bed and he helps.  I mean, I don't leave dishes on the table and stuff, but picking up toys or general tidying happens later.  Plus - he's a slob, he wouldn't even notice if I stopped cleaning for like a month.

Basically, I am the laziest SAHM ever.  And proud of it.  

mrsekins

I try to generally get the house picked up before he comes in.  If not, he has a hard time just walking across the floor .  Other than that, I make sure to throw out the pop cans so he can't see just how much caffeine I've had throughout the day   tee hee.

eclaires

Now I will say there is something to smooth evenings being related to nothing needing to be done or rushed (dinner ready or on it's way to being ready, things picked up, etc.)...I also find our days go smoother in the evenings if we've been out of the house.

You know, if we had to act like civilized human beings for a few hours, we're all less insane when MH gets home from work.

veloelle

I try to have the house/kids/me in some semblance or order. I work late 2x a week, and it really sets my mood when I come home and the kids are eating/already ate, and the house isn't a total disaster. I do get annoyed when I come home at 8:30 pm and the house is a wreck, the kids aren't fed/bathed. I literally put my bag down and get to work immediately.

I pretty much treat him coming home as I like to be treated. There's been a handful of times where I'm like "yea, the house is a mess, I'll deal w/ it later." I know he appreciates it and it puts everyone in a better mood. Some days he comes home to fish sticks, some days to a homemade meal.

MayorMcCheese000

Actually, everything usually falls apart right before he comes home every day. I have the house clean all day and I am always dressed and looking decent. But I usually start on dinner around 4-4:30 and let the kids play on their own while I am in the kitchen. So, by the time he gets home at 5:30, the heathens have destroyed my clean house, are running around screaming and I am sweating and making a mess in the kitchen trying to cook and keep them under control.

But the house is usually just a quick pick up from what the kids did in that hour and he gets a home cooked dinner pretty much every day so he should be satisfied with that (and I make him clean up dinner )

JenninMA

I pick up a little but don't knock myself out. The kids are almost always bathed and in pjs when he comes home and dinner is usually on the table. I'm obsessively time oriented and like to have dinner done by a certain time so the kids can play a bit after dinner then we do books/bedtime at the same time every night. For me to be happy with the way all that works out I like to have dinner ready and the kids fairly settled down by the time he gets home from work. I see it as more for my sanity than for his, but I think it must be nice to come home to dinner cooked, and clean kids! Now I have time to chill out with wine and websurf/watch tv.

emiliemadison

No. He's pleased if the kids aren't killing each other and I'm not ready to run out the door to escape. Looking nice, kids being angels, a clean house and dinner underway are *major* bonuses in our house. Usually, it will be just one of those options at a time. 

Kapalua

Zenya:

See, today I was kind of Dr. Laura'y' but not intentionally.. just the way the day worked out.  And honestly we had SUCH a nice evening vs how things usually are.

I fear Dr. Laura might be onto something.   

See, I'm willing to bet that the night went smoothly because you were less stressed and feeling good about yourself and your day.  You know...if Mama's happy then everyone is happy and all that.  There's nothing wrong with doing those things but it's not something you OWE to your husband or something. 

snowflakemom

Zenya:

Examples:

Do you try and look nice?

Ha, um not lately. If anything, I try to get ready in the mornings so I can look decent and feel somewhat good about myself. I am getting rounder and rounder these days, so this is more of a challenge.

Have the kids look nice/behaving a certain way?

Again, I usually try to get them dressed and looking decent at the beginning of the day. Sure, sometimes we have done a painting project or they've gotten dirty outside but a majority of the time they look fairly decent. They are so excited to see him if they are actually awake when he gets home that their "behavior" is not really an issue. I guess I don't really understand this question anyway. It's not as though I let them run rampant and then try to clean them up and tell them to behave because "daddy's coming home." DH works so much that we are all just grateful to see him (and vice versa) when he gets home.

Have the place clean?

This one I do feel I could improve on. And I do feel some guilt when the place looks like a mess when he gets home. I am a night owl, and I would rather do laundry, clean up, etc. after the girls go to bed so often the house is looking pretty chaotic around late afternoon/early evening. Lately, DH hasn't been getting home until 10-11ish so I usually have time to clean up after putting the girls to bed, but if he by chance comes home earlier I kind of feel like I should have things put away and looking tidy. I'm sure he doesn't want to come home from work tripping over toys or having to clear a spot on the desk to set his stuff down any more than I do when I get home.

Have dinner underway?

Seldom is DH home when the girls & I eat, especially this time of year. But if he hasn't eaten, then I do either make him dinner or heat up a plate of food for him when he comes home.

etc

Dr. Laura is getting to me  

mom2one

eclaires:

hahaha.  OMG, no.

First of all, MH is on this work from home kick (that, btw, DRIVES ME INSANE - GO TO WORK, LEAVE US ALONE.  The kids act crazier when he is here during the week - the upside is I can sneak out at naptime...), so he is here and will frequently help with meal times if he's eating when the kids are eating.  Sometimes he even gets up with them and lets me sleep in.

This also means that he helps with dinner prep.  He actually does most of the cooking, anyhow.  I do all the meal planning and shopping, but he does the actual cooking.

Also, even when he is at work, I tend to do most cleanup when the kids are in bed and he helps.  I mean, I don't leave dishes on the table and stuff, but picking up toys or general tidying happens later.  Plus - he's a slob, he wouldn't even notice if I stopped cleaning for like a month.

Basically, I am the laziest SAHM ever.  And proud of it.  

 

This. word for word.

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bebemama

Zenya:

Examples:

Do you try and look nice? Yes, usually.  I get ready in the morning.  And I usually touch up again before waking up DS2 to get DS1 from preschool at 3 since that will be my last minute alone.  I might touch myself up if I have a sec while I know he's coming home. 

Have the kids look nice/behaving a certain way?  No, not at all. But, I try to have them engaged in an activity since I am typically cooking dinner at this time.  I let DS1 have computer time if he earned it and usually set up something fun for DS2.

Have the place clean? Yes, but it is just part of our routine, well and maybe for him.  I hate coming home to a trashed house when he is home with them.  We clean up and then I get them doing their own activities while I do dinner.   

Have dinner underway? Most nights but I LOVE to cook and consider it me time. 

But I will say that any day I feel like saying F*ck it and doing none of the above or only some of the above, then that is what I do and nobody bats an eye.   

ghm

Well, the house is almost always spotless when he gets home.

The children are as quiet as can be.

There is no food on the table or stove.

We are in pj's, our hair a disheveled mess.

 

He gets home around 4 am

 

When he wakes up, the house is somewhat clean. Sometimes lunch is on the table, but a lot of the time we have already eaten (it depends on what time he got home the night before). We're dressed but there's a good chance that someone has stains on their clothes by that point in the day. I try to keep them somewhat quiet before he wakes up for the day, but I wouldn't say they're being little angels (I keep them as quiet as I can as a courtesy when he's asleep, though he can sleep through anything).  

bebemama

eclaires:

Now I will say there is something to smooth evenings being related to nothing needing to be done or rushed (dinner ready or on it's way to being ready, things picked up, etc.)...I also find our days go smoother in the evenings if we've been out of the house.

You know, if we had to act like civilized human beings for a few hours, we're all less insane when MH gets home from work.

We NEED to get out every morning from at the very least  10-11:30 or we go CRAZY.  We stay home only when we have friends over.  Otherwise forget about it. 

CleoKitty

Nope. I do, however, expect dh to spend a little time helping me straighten up every evening.

Really though, I'm a SAHM during the day but I work full-time as well nights/evenings/weekends. I'm home with two kids all day, responsible for their education (we homeschool), and we're just plain busy. The kids ARE my job during the day, IMO.  Dh and I both have to pitch in equally around the house in order to just maintain some semblance of household management.

Glendi2.0

eclaires:

Basically, I am the laziest SAHM ever.  And proud of it.  

Um, may I officially challenge you for that prestigious honor? I've got two kids in school full-time, no job and a cleaning service, and I still can't get my act together enough to make the bed on a daily basis. 

As for DH, I do try to make sure the kitchen/dining room, which is what he walks into every evening, is more or less tidied up... we've talked about this a lot- while I have no problem with mess and chaos, it literally gives him anxiety. I feel bad forcing him to walk into an anxiety-inducing environment after a full day of work, so despite my inclination to be lazy and not bother, I do tidy up for his benefit. My girls are usually in good spirits during the typical "witching hour", so I usually don't have to "make" them behave. Dinner's usually under way, but not always. That is one goal I do have, though, now that I think about it.

I don't think I've ever "freshened up" for him. Ever. That being said, I always have an "outfit" and make-up (that's not for him, that's my thing), so I usually don't need to freshen up anyway.

A-baybride

Not really.  If the house or I happen to look nice, it's because I wanted it that way, not specifically for him.  Depending on which ferry he takes home, he gets home after 10 or 11 pm, so he's had dinner at the office and the kids are in bed.  Most nights after the kids are in bed I usually clean the kitchen and pick up toys, but that's for my benefit, and there are days I'm just so pooped once the kids are finally asleep that I just veg and leave it all for the morning.  And no, I don't think I've ever "freshened up" for him.  Most days I try to look somewhat put together, but that's because it makes me feel better.  If it's been the kind of day that I didn't have the time or energy to even shower, the last thing I want to do is inadvertently turn him on - LOL!  I'm on my own with the kids virtually all the time, so he should be grateful I haven't run away.

Yodajo

DandRAgain:

I get myself ready in the morning...I don't "freshen up" before DH gets home.

My kids behave the way they behave...I can't control that. 

I do try to pick up the place before DH gets home.  But I don't freak out about it.  But there is no reason to have breakfast dishes in the sink when he gets home....you know??  My cleaning is lacking somewhat (besides the fact that we are trying to sell the house, so I've been forced to be a bit more aggressive with the cleaning).  But does DH care if he came home to dishes in the sink???  Or toys in the living room?? No...at least I don't think so.

Dinner--yes....DH gets home late, so I usually have dinner on the table or about on the table when he gets home.  Otherwise my kids would eat late, shower late, go to bed late, etc, etc, etc.  However, sometimes DH runs late at work....so the kids and I sit down and eat without him, or we are eating when he gets home....so its not like dinner hinges on DH.

I'm far from a 50's housewife....but I don't think the things I DO do are "old fashioned"....just the nature of me being home and DH being at work all day....

Pretty much this for me too.  There are some things I try to make sure are done just because it makes our evenings go better and less stressed.  When DH gets home is usually the craziest part of the day here, where the boys are crazy and at their wildest, so for BOTH of our sakes, I try to have some things in order just to make the witching hour not so bad. 

KKMMex

KC_13:

I consider it a victory if everyone in the house is still alive when DH comes home from work.

I just checked your tickers and I completely understand!

jettagurl

No...he gets home at 11....so it happens to coincide with my end-of-day clean-up.  The house is picked up, clothes away, dinner cleaned up and kitchen clean, etc.  

The kids & I wouldn't have all that done if he came home at 5-6p.  

I don't look any different than I did when he left at 11a....(maybe a bit frazzled!) unless we went somewhere or the kids slimed me or something.

Nothing special for him coming home.  

Rebekah1021

I try to look decent for him.

I try to have her not melting down, but if she's pretty moody oh well

Try to have a tidy house, but hasn't happened lately

When we are home, I try to have dinner going. 

Turkey Lurkey

Dinner is always ready when DH gets home. The man rarely takes lunch and is hungry:)

The kids know to settle down when he walks in. This is my doing, not his demands or anything.  I know the last thing I'd want after a long stressful day and rush hour traffic is children going nuts. But they do start up again after dinner. lol

The house is never a total mess so I don't really pick up.

I shower and dry my hair everyday. I don't really spruce myself up for him coming home though.

Sitting down to a peaceful dinner seems to help him destress and put the workday behind him. Switching his gears has been an issue that we've worked on.

pookie2005

Yes, he doesn't expect it to be that way but I do try to have things low maintenance for him around the house. He works two jobs since I'm still searching for mine. I clean the house once a week and straighten up daily. I do all the laundry and take care of the cat. I almost always have dinner almost ready by the time he comes home.

That being said, as much as I try to make it so he doesn't have to do anything, he still helps with things on the weekends and spends time with Grace in between jobs. He is very appreciative of the work I do around here. If he wasn't, I sure wouldn't be doing it.   

ohyeahdollface

Zenya:

Examples:

DH works nights, and is gone from 4:30pm till 7am.

Do you try and look nice? When he gets home, I am asleep or up with the baby for her 6:30-7:30 wake up and eat time. When he is up for his "day" I make sure I have at least brushed my teeth. Haha. 

Have the kids look nice/behaving a certain way? He has a huge thing about the baby being "dressed for the day". If she is still in pajamas when he wakes up for work at 2:30-3, he gets grumpy. 

Have the place clean? Yes. I stay home, he works. House work is my "thing" for the day. If anything else, the dishes are done, kitchen wiped down, and the main room picked up. 

Have dinner underway? Well, when he wakes up for work, always. He has to be out the door at 4:30pm. So after he is showered and ready for work, we eat dinner. I usually have it made by 4:00 exactly. I pack a lunch for him too. 

Damn.. I am way too nice to him! 

Dr. Laura is getting to me  

 

bubu

No. I try to get dinner started most days, start a load of laundry and that's about it.

Carol*Brady2

I did when I was a new SAHM w/ 1 baby...& then when I had 2 then 3 little ones I didn't. Now my youngest is almost 2.5yrs old & the other 2 are in school full-time..I do try. Not so much about looking nice but I expect the kids to clean up, I tidy up, have the kids settled down & dinner started. He appreciates it but does expect nor complain about the state of things.

Littlejen22

Nope to all, lol

Jodi&Joe

I always have the house decluttered (so everything put back in its place), dishwasher emptied and reloaded, counters wiped down.  Laundry is done most of the time (or at least started).  I defintiely make sure the house is presentable and tidy when he gets home.  And dinner was usually at least started (probably 4 out of 5 nights).  There has to be one take out night for momma!

As for my appearance/the kids appearance - that's a different story.  I was showered and in my everyday clothes.  I don't wear make-up so that's n/a.  If he ever came home from work and I was looking "ready to go out" he would wonder what the heck was going on/if I was cheating on him!  LOL  And the kids, with any luck, were outside playing all day so yea, they are filthy and disheveled (as kids should be)!

This is when I'm home on Mondays but was also applicable when I was home with the kids for 15 months.

I definitely have that 1950's housewife mentality.  When I was home, it was my job to take care of the house, kids, meals, etc.