Temporary orders??

CalisMom26

Hi there,

Looking for some feedback for those that have already been through this.  I have my first court date in November to establish CS, custody, etc.  Father and I were never married, live in WI.  I do have a lawyer, but we haven't met again yet (since I retained him) to discuss the steps of what happens at this court date.

 

From what I have been reading on this board and online, temporary visitation (or whatever it is called now) will be set up during this first court date?  Is that true?  How is that determined? Ex and I do not get along AT ALL and his expectations of visitation of our 2.5 month old are completely unrealistic, so I am wondering how a temporary order will be structed since I am 99.9% postive we will have to go to mediation to get everything settled  - I already ordered the book"Creating Effective Parenting Plans" to get myself ready for the final arrangement, but I need info  onhow the temporary thing works and maybe even how long all of this is going to go on for?

 

Anyone care to share their experience?

TIA

PrettyInPearls23

The courts primary job is to look out for the best interest of the child. Seeing how your LO is 2.5 months old, that would give you physical custody and your X reasonable parenting time. At that young age, my best guess would be he would get 2-3 visits each week, for a few hours at a time. At that young age, it's important that the LO not be kept away from his/her primary caregiver for an extended period of time. The frequent visits will give your LO the chance to bond/attach in a manner that is appropriate for their age.

Going into the hearing for temporary orders being well-informed is important. Try googling the parenting time recommendations for your county. If parents cannot agree for temporary orders, the courts will likely follow these guidelines.

I know every state is different, but here was my experience. My XH didn't show to our hearing, so I got everything I was asking for (physical custody, joint legal custody, EOW and Wednesday PM visits for XH). The referee agreed, an order was created and signed by the judge. XH had 21 days to appeal the order, but of course he didn't.

CS where I live is calculated based on how many overnight visits the non-custodial parent has. Obviously the incomes of the two parties are part of the calcuation, as well as the cost of health-care coverage (provided by me) and daycare costs.

Odds are you will not go to mediation for temporary orders. Usually the referee will submit his/her recommendations to the judge and an Order will be created.

JewlzK

Hi, I live in WI also.  And I just went through this with my daughter.  The one thing I suggest is be prepared with your lawyer.  My lawyer and I were very prepared and his lawyer and him were not at all!!!  My lawyer and I had a proposal that he see her two nights a week and once on the weekends, which according to my lawyer is pretty normal.  When they are young like this they try to start the visits more often for a shorter time period.  However when we go to court all he asked for was Tuesday evenings.  Which is in the temporary order until we go back to court on the 31st.  We just did mediation yesterday but were not able to agree because he wants 50/50 and I am not comfortable with that at all because my daughter is 5 1/2 months old.  I wish mediation had worked for us so we wouldn't have to continue to pay the lawyers to fight it out, but when you are dealing with someone that doesn't understand the needs of a baby it is hard.  The one thing I would suggest is have a good lawyer and listen to what they have to say.  My lawyer said also keep in mind that what is in the temporary order is going to be looked at when the court is deciding what will be more long term so stand your ground and don't give in too much.  Of course you have to be willing to work with each other, which is hard.  Stay strong, I have to keep telling myself that every day.  Once everything is in a court order hopefully you can move on with your life and not have to deal with it again for awhile.  Take Care!!!

JCGreene85

EX and I had mediation a few weeks ago and were able to come up with a temporary visitation agreement. It basically spells out our arrangement until March and we handle it after then. We did a temporary because he is out of state and unemployed. This way hopefully by March he will find a job and things can be more "consistent". If for some reason we don't agree on something, then we go back to court to make our final. I am trying to stretch the temporary for a while because I want to drag out his request for a last name change as long as possible. 

Our mediation lasted about 4 hours and we covered everything from visitation, back child support, and medical expenses.