Creating monsters to scare our kids into doing what we want the to?

TinyPinkBug

I was just reading some posts on the preschool board, seems a lot of parents create monsters and other scarey things to make their kids do what they want them to.  Like a troll that steals toys if they aren't picked up, or a monster that eats dirty teeth if you don't brush them.  It just seems really dishonest to me, to scare your kid into doing stuff.  And how do they feel about you when they get older and realize the things that scared them were made up by their own parents?  Trust me, I am challenged by these same battles everyday, so I understand the intensions behind them and I don't think parents have bad intensions when they create these monsters.  But I just don't see any long term benefits to encouraging kids to believe in scarey things that don't exist.  I get that it is a consequence to not doing what you are told, but it is a false consequence.  Or if you want to say that the parent is the troll so it is true, there are still lies to it.  What do you ladies think of the idea?  I don't think anything is going to change my mind on this, I am pretty firm on my belief of teaching and defining what is real is real and what is pretend is pretend.  But I am curious as to what the train of thought is on this, long term I mean, not just the short term outcome.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

Hmm - it's not for me. If I'm struggling with a behavior, I don't need to add nightmares on top of it, haha. I DO however remind him that if he doesn't stay close to me in his school parking lot, a truck will squish him. (He gets excited and wants to run while I push the twins)

Kim72508

I don't agree with making up monsters or stuff to scare them into doing something.  I do believe in telling them the truth in an age appropriate way- like the example above.  If the kid doesn't brush their teeth, why not tell them that they have to for good health, that their teeth will go bad if they don't, etc.  I don't understand creating trolls and monsters. 

missyjg

My grandmother used to use the "troll". She always said the trolls live in the closet and that they will come out to steal your things if you don't clean up or they would nibble your fingers and toes if you don't eat your entire meal. To this day, I can't sleep with the closet door open. I also have a very hard time leaving food on my plate, so I usually take very little and go back for seconds. Its funny how those things stick with you, even into adulthood. Sure we'd clean up as kids, but I used to HATE going over there for the thought that something would come out of the closet to get us. I remember my mom sitting me down and telling me that trolls weren't real and I remember thinking how mean my grandmother was for doing that (and I was only 7).

I don't plan to invent any scary creatures to make B do something. I think there are other ways of behavior modification that don't involve scaring them into doing it. I think kids come up with enough scary things in their own minds that they don't need an adult adding to it.

abba916

yeah I'm not into the monster thing- I'm into honesty- so much so that I think it could be a downer....example, my mom told me at 5 that santa or the easter bunny didnt exist~ she told me the whole St. Nick story and that parent's carried on the idea...I didnt feel any less special about christmas so I might be honest with my boys 

I know santa is fun and happy and monsters are bad- so I guess I'm saying yeah, no monster creations for me-  

dle927

No, never monsters. I certainly don't want to make them afraid of anything like that.  However, Claire was acting up the day after her birthday and I told her that a 2 year old does not act like that and if she didn't stop the "Birthday Princess" would come and make her 1 year old again.  I have no idea where I got it from but I have to say she stopped whatever she was doing.  I'm certain it won't have any power as we get further from her birthday and have no intention of having the Birthday Princess as someone in our lives. 

 

Now Santa? My kids will believe in forever.   

Court0026

I don't love the troll idea (and said it concerned me in the post about the cleaning up troll or whatever).  I am struggling constantly with DS, but that doesn't seem like a good idea to me for now or later. 

MelissaSue81

I guess i'm a mean mom.. cuz we definitely have mess monsters that come and take toys that are left out at nap and bedtime.  It works better than me telling her that I'm gonna take her toys, cuz she can't talk back to the monsters.

That being said, I don't really think she's scared of the monsters at all.. She just doesn't want her toys to vanish.

xKimx

I just tell Charlie that I'm going to take his toys & give them to another kid that will take care of them if he won't.

I think inventing monsters would create a bigger problem here 

mrsoc

I don't want to instill fear in my kids, so no monsters here.  We just ask nicely, give reasons and try to make games out of things to make it interesting.  

jewelsonu

we won't invent monsters.  We have Morgan that will eat plastic toys that are left around.  I think kids get scared of enough things as it is.  I don't want to add to it.

I asked my mom why mac and cheese was yellow and macaroni salad was white my mom told me that macoroni salad was white b/c it was moldy.  I have NEVER put a piece of macaroni salad in my mouth b/c of this and at this point I see no reason in trying it.

jnk062602

I guess i don't get made up monsters.  Why not just have real consequences?  Or even use incentives?

DD has bath crayons and she used to chew them and was a battle.  I told her finally if I saw it in her mouth one more time I was throwing it out.  She threw a big fit, and still asks me weekly where her green crayon went.  Then I remind her I threw it away bc she had it in her mouth and she just says "Yes" and I haven't seen one in her mouth since.  But if I had made up a monster to take them....then she wouldn;t have seen it being thrown out, she wouldn't have seen it sitting in the trash.  And I would have to hear about a monster all the time.

Right now, I use Abby as incentive to brush her teeth.  She brushes, then I brush her teeth, then she is allowed to brush Abby's teeth.  She loves it.  If that stops working, I will tell her no teeth = no something else that she loves (like a bedtime story or sip of water).  Even explaining cavities at this age seems pointless, I think the consequence needs to be immediate - not if you don't brush, then in 6 months you might have a cavity or whatever.