NBR: Tacky or no?

ihearteddieboo

DH's friend from high school is getting married.  On the invitation was a website, which I thought, ok, wedding website where all their registry information would be.  Wrong!  It was a website where one could donate money to their honeymoon fund. Also on the site was a paragraph about how they have a house full of all the things they could ever need, so please, no gifts, but donate to our honeymoon fund. 

I hope I'm not offending anyone, but I think this is tacky.  Am I wrong?  Too old school?  Is this the "new" wave of wedding gift giving?  I was married 5 years ago and my gifts consisted of place settings, crockpots, and towels. 

Sonadora

So so so tacky.

Forget that asking people for money is tacky always.

Mentioning or putting a link to gifts on your wedding invitations is the height of tacky in and of itself. Add to that the asking for money thing? ::shudder::

shall923

Extremely tacky.

ihearteddieboo

I was so shocked by them saying "don't buy us gifts, all we're interested in is the money so we can go on a honeymoon," that I totally spaced out on the tackiness of it being on the actual invitation!  Doh! 

I just feel trapped.  I probably would have given money anyway, but to "force" me to do it by saying "no gifts, just money for honeymoon," annoys me. 

amberdaz

I agree it's tacky. A friend from work did something similar for her wedding this past June. I get the concept - she's 41 years, they've been together 5 years and have all the basic household items so they don't need anything. Different than a young couple starting off that needs towels, appliances, etc ... nonetheless it's something I wouldn't consider doing.

leneae10

Scout2005:

I hate this trend, I think it's horribly tacky.

eww!  It's a trend? 

Defintely tacky to ask for ANY money.  I didn't like the idea of registering but I did.  It certainly wasn't included on any invitation!  I was married 7.5 years ago so I suppose I am an old fart though.  Crockpot and dish towels for us, too!

erinlovesdavid

ihearteddieboo:

I was so shocked by them saying "don't buy us gifts, all we're interested in is the money so we can go on a honeymoon," that I totally spaced out on the tackiness of it being on the actual invitation!  Doh! 

I just feel trapped.  I probably would have given money anyway, but to "force" me to do it by saying "no gifts, just money for honeymoon," annoys me. 

I would probably buy them a toaster or a frying pan just out of spite. And I wouldn't give a gift receipt, either.  Tacky is as tacky does!

ihearteddieboo

leneae10:

Scout2005:

I hate this trend, I think it's horribly tacky.

eww!  It's a trend? 

Defintely tacky to ask for ANY money.  I didn't like the idea of registering but I did.  It certainly wasn't included on any invitation!  I was married 7.5 years ago so I suppose I am an old fart though.  Crockpot and dish towels for us, too!

Unfortunately it is a trend.  I just looked up some posts on the bump, and the feelings there about 50/50 on the topic.  I had no idea these websites even existed!  

ksulli

Tacky. The only way putting that info on the invite is even somewhat acceptable would be to say something along the lines of no gifts please, instead please consider donating to XXXXX. And even then, I'd leave it off the invitation and include it on the reception card or another insert.

Jessicaanne_1@yahoo.com

Tacky to ask for money as a gift. I do think its becoming more popular.

Amanda78

I hate it. Totally becoming more popular.

vlewis515

Scout2005:

I hate this trend, I think it's horribly tacky.

Totally this!

cvillecouple

Tacky to put registry info on your wedding invitation period.  I've had friends say, your presence is our gift.  These were friends who were on their second wedding each.  They did it very tastefully, and I didn't find that tacky.  But asking for money on a wedding invitation is not cool. 

luvmyducks

We did Honeyfund along with a Bed, Bath, & Beyond registry.  We did Honeyfund because we also had a fully furnished house and didn't need many items that people typically buy as wedding gifts.  We had a website that had our registry info and we included the website on the Save The Dates, and then it was also on the insert along with the reception info included with the invitations--not on the actual invitations. We put it both places because a lot of our family members we were inviting did not frequent the internet.

I didn't really go on the Knot much when I was engaged, but since I've been on TB, I've heard a lot of opinions that including registry info with invites is tacky, but it is what everyone does here.  Registry info is always on the baby shower invites and always on an insert with the wedding invites (not on the actual wedding invite)--at least for all the baby showers and weddings we have been invited to.  So I guess I never thought it was tacky.  Also, before we had even sent out invites we had people asking us where we were registered b/c they wanted to buy us an engagement gift.

I do think it is tacky to ask people for no gifts but money instead.  They could have just said they have a fully furnished house, so their attendance would be a great gift--people would probably just have brought money without them specifically asking for it.  We didn't specifically say we preferred money vs. gifts or the other way around, we just gave the registry info.

BobbiJanay07

I don't mind the honeymoon funds, what infind tacky is registering at 4 or 5 stores fe basically (in some case te same thing) that isn't needed.

vml14

Totally tacky to ask for money at all.  But, I find it particularly tacky when people ask for money for their honeymoon.  Who in their right mind would say to someone "hey, can you give me some money so I can go on a vacation I couldn't otherwise afford?"  Wedding gifts are meant to help you begin your married life together, not send you on vacation.  It's one thing to indicate that you don't need household items (via word of mouth). But to ask for a vacation fund, ridiculous!

sarahandeddiejune212008

I have friends that have a honeymoon registry.  It consisted of excursions they would like to do, but they also have all of their registry information there.  They didn't just ask for money.  They have both lived on there on for a long time, and recently bought a house together so I know they really don't need that type of thing.  I think it is nice if you have both.  However, in this situation I do think it is tacky.  If it had multiple registry places it's one thing - but to say no gifts is just plain rude.  I would give them what they asked for - no gift.

Jacquiemark

vml14:

Totally tacky to ask for money at all.  But, I find it particularly tacky when people ask for money for their honeymoon.  Who in their right mind would say to someone "hey, can you give me some money so I can go on a vacation I couldn't otherwise afford?"  Wedding gifts are meant to help you begin your married life together, not send you on vacation.  It's one thing to indicate that you don't need household items (via word of mouth). But to ask for a vacation fund, ridiculous!

I agree. If you can't afford the lavish honeymoon, don't ask me to fund it.

Clerk9

leneae10:

eww!  It's a trend? 

Defintely tacky to ask for ANY money.  I didn't like the idea of registering but I did.  It certainly wasn't included on any invitation!  I was married 7.5 years ago so I suppose I am an old fart though.  Crockpot and dish towels for us, too!

This was exactly me & DH!  (Only we got THREE crockpots, THREE fondue pots & a bunch of mismatched bath towels, among other things...) 

I felt terribly guilty registering, but understand that people want to have guidance for gifts.  We certainly did NOT publish the registry info. anywhere...just had family pass it along by word-of-mouth to anyone interested!

I actually don't have a problem with the honeymoon fund in & of itself...if people asked them or their families what to get, they could've mentioned it as an alternative.  But to advertise on invitations is tres gauche!