Using Donor Eggs?

hrtbreakr

I haven't been on this board since I was on The Knot like 6 years ago, but long story short my DH have been TTC for 4 years, at first we were told that it was a sperm issue.  So after 2 unsuccessful IVFs and 3 cancelled cycles.  We met with RE today after our 2nd failed IVF today. Bottom line he said that at 36 I have the ovaries of a woman 10 years older and our chances of conceiving with my eggs are less than 10%.  Our best option is to look at using donor eggs or donor embryo or adoption.  Adoption and donor embryo are totally out for personal reasons.  We are thinking of going the route of donor eggs.  Has anyone else out there gone through this process?  What is it like?  What did you have to go through?  Any success stories out there.  I would really appreciate hearing from you.  Its a lot to take in, but I had a good idea this is what he was going to say based on my poor response to medications.  Now trying to grapple with what our next move will be.  Tough decision.  

Thanks for your help. 

jlcrane78

Geez, you sound so much like me.  We started off as MFI too, and then I got the "ovaries of a 45 year old" comment from the RE after our first failure.  I am 32.  We just miscarried with IVF #2, and DH doesn't want to try again.  We've sunk all our money into this process, so we literally can't even afford to adopt.  Also, DH doesn't believe in donor ANYTHING, so we are out of luck if that's our RE's recommendation.  It sucks.

Do you mind sharing your stats for retrieved, mature, fertilized?  Mine were:

IVF #1: 8 retrieved, 6 mature, 5 fertilized (transferred 3, BFN)

IVF #2: 12 retrieved, 8 mature, 8 fertilized (PGD showed 2 "normal" embryos, and we transferred both.  BFP, but miscarried 4 days later.)

Even though I don't have experience with donor eggs, I wish you a lot of luck.

Edwina.McDunnough

There is a check in on the IF board.

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/58720822.aspx

Interestingly I'm in my 40s and I am the one raising the DE option, not any of the REs that I've consulted with or have been treated by.

hrtbreakr

IVF#1:  12 retrieved, 7 were mature, 5 fertilized and 3 were transferred.  Of those 3, 1 was a grade 2, 1 was a grade 3 and the other was a less than perfect grade 3

IVF#2: 15 retrieved, 11 mature, 8 fertilized and 5 transferred.  Of those 5, 3 of them were grade 3s and the other 2 were less than grade 3.

Yes, sounds like we are very much a like.  My husband it totally against adoption and donor embryo b/c he was adopted and we really want that genetic connection. He was borderline against donor eggs until today when we were told that was really our only viable option.  My RE said with donor eggs he felt we had an 85% chance of success on a fresh cycle and 60% on a frozen.  My DE is willing to try another regular IVF, but I really don't see the point with our odds at less than 10% and with the donor cycle have such a great chance at success. Finances are a consideration for us too, really wish we had known all of this 2 years ago when we started.  We have essentially spent already what it will cost us to do a donor cycle over the last 2 years.   

I agree the whole thing sucks!  Good luck to you.   

JM1977

There are quite a few of us here using donor eggs and donor embryos.  And lots of success stories!  You are more than welcome to join our check-in - a lot of good information there.

I wish you the best!

Edwina.McDunnough

You don't seem to respond like someone 10 years older, nor do you have the EQ issues of someone in their 40s. IMHO you need a second opinion with an RE that specializes in your dx, unless you've already given up on your OE.

hrtbreakr

That would be great, how do I join your check-in?  Thanks.

Edwina.McDunnough

You go to the post that I offered and reply an intro. You may want to read the checkins to see what they are about, to see if it is the kind of thing you are interested in. The link in my signature gives a lot of information about the boards (how to set up a sig or post a picture, etc. and what the abbreviations are) and a FAQ.

hrtbreakr

Thanks!  I found it.  Looks like it will be really helpful for me.

caityr

I was told same thing as you when I was 33. I switched clinics and although we have nothing frozen I was successful w my OE at clinic #2. I agree w Edwina that u should pursue second if not third opinions. That said I was prepared to use donor eggs if this cycle w dd had not worked. You respond well to meds, you just do not maybe have as many good quality eggs which was exactly like me. For instance I transferred 4 embies twice, and the first time had a chemical and the second time my daughter. My OB could not believe I was not having at least twins transferring 4 under 35 yo. My eggs are just not that great. BUT one of them was good enough!!! hang in there!!!

Jackie2200

Edwina.McDunnough:

You don't seem to respond like someone 10 years older, nor do you have the EQ issues of someone in their 40s. IMHO you need a second opinion with an RE that specializes in your dx, unless you've already given up on your OE.

This!

I'm 33 and my ovaries respond like they're 10 years older. 

I've had 2 cancelled IVF attempts

IVF#1 (max dose of stims for 13 days) 5 retrieved, 5 mature, 5 fertilized, transferred 2 and froze 3.  Twins! Lost at 20 weeks)

IVF#2 (max dose of stims for 13 days) 7 Ret., 6 mature, 6 fertilized, transferred 1, froze 2, 3 arrested. 

IVF#3 (max dose of stims for 11 days) 2 retrieved, 2 mature, 2 fertilized, transferred 2 and Chemical Pregnancy. 

IVF#4 (max dose of stims for 20 days!) 2 retrieved, 1 mature, 1 fertilized, transferred 1 and BFP. 

My highest FSH was 23.7.  When I told my RE that my ovaries acted like they were 45, they said, yes, they do, but your eggs are young so don't worry too much about it. 

DE definitly gives you high success rates but there is a chance that it could work with your OE if you aren't ready to dive into DE. 

 

GL!

 

 

may2806

Edwina.McDunnough:

You don't seem to respond like someone 10 years older, nor do you have the EQ issues of someone in their 40s. IMHO you need a second opinion with an RE that specializes in your dx, unless you've already given up on your OE.

I agree with this - it doesn't sound like your response was poor at all (at least compared to mine!). I would highly suggest a second opinion before DE; that said, the chances are almost always higher with DE, so if you are ready to pursue that route now it's totally your decision!

Despite having to do 2 DE cycles (both BFPs but the first was ectopic), I had a positive experience. My clinic has an in-house donor pool and I was matched both times very quickly. The first time I was covered by insurance so we were the only recipients; the second time we were OOP so we split the eggs with another couple. The monitoring was simple and without a lot of the stress of an OE cycle.

Good luck!