What would you do if you were me?

mdluv21

Now that we have a date on the books for our FET (Jan. 6th) we have to decide how many to transfer.

We have four frozen embabies - Our two best (Day 5 - Grade A Blasts) are frozen together.  Then we have a Day 5 - Grade C Blast and a Day 6 - Grade B Blast.

RE wants to transfer the two that are frozen together (assuming they both survive thaw but he seems confidant they will since he uses vitrification.)

MFM is dead against twins and I am not thrilled with the idea either since it makes my extremely high risk pregnancy that much more high risk even though I will only be pregnant one time and if I get a take home baby we are done, so two is tempting but we had that and ended up where we are today. 

Would you thaw the two and only transfer one?  Thaw and transfer one of the singles even though they are not as good of quality?  Or thaw the double and transfer both if they're both are thriving?

I know I have months; but I need something to obsess over between now and then. 

I have an appointment with my MFM tomorrow to see if I am all clear on the diabetes/thyroid front.  I guess it feels good to be doing something again but I have to admit it was a nice break from doctors visits these last 5 months.

stei8086

If I were you, I would go for two. IVF and FET are so tough on your body and super expensive. You want to give it your best shot so you have the best chance of getting pregnant. I also believe that having twins would be wonderful. Obviously, the choice is yours. You need to be comfortable with the decision. So, if you aren't comfortable with 2, then just do one. Good luck with making your decision!

Temp590840000005378

Yikes, that is such a tough decision, I suck and have no advice but wanted to say I'm rooting for you and truly hope this FET brings you home a baby/babies!! I obsess over everything, so good luck managing that over the next few months, loL!

Good luck tomorrow with your Dr. Appt!

abvernon

Wow, that is a tough decision. At first, I would say to transfer both the Grade A as you have the best possible chance of at least one sticking.

However, given your history, I would suggest thaw two and transfer one. Can you re-thaw the other one? Sorry if that is a lame question as I am not familiar with FET.

HTH! 

mdluv21

abvernon:

Wow, that is a tough decision. At first, I would say to transfer both the Grade A as you have the best possible chance of at least one sticking.

However, given your history, I would suggest thaw two and transfer one. Can you re-thaw the other one? Sorry if that is a lame question as I am not familiar with FET.

HTH! 

Some docs do let you do that but not Dr. Z he doesn't refreeze.

Thanks for the input thouugh hon!  At first we were leaning towards thawing both and then only transfering one but we feel bad at the idea of letting the other one just die off if it is doing well.  Ugh it is so tough!

We might have to go to coffee so I can obsess more!    I am rooting for your IUI!

abvernon

mdluv21:

abvernon:

Wow, that is a tough decision. At first, I would say to transfer both the Grade A as you have the best possible chance of at least one sticking.

However, given your history, I would suggest thaw two and transfer one. Can you re-thaw the other one? Sorry if that is a lame question as I am not familiar with FET.

HTH! 

Some docs do let you do that but not Dr. Z he doesn't refreeze.

Thanks for the input thouugh hon!  At first we were leaning towards thawing both and then only transfering one but we feel bad at the idea of letting the other one just die off if it is doing well.  Ugh it is so tough!

We might have to go to coffee so I can obsess more!    I am rooting for your IUI!

Ok. That make sense. I know it is a tough decision to make but I know you & your DH will make the best decision possible.

 

Yes, we have to do coffee soon so we BOTH can obsess more!! :-)

illinigal

We aren't lucky enough to have any frosties, but I'm facing the same quandary on transfering two Vs one considering where we are today and how our twin pregnancy ended. We haven't discussed it with the MFM and RE yet, but my OB is hoping for a single pregnancy. However, I know most people that transfer two only get pregnant with one baby or none. If we have a successful ER and two or more embryos available for transfer, I would like to transfer two. Since we are 100% OOP now, I think that plays into it. Of course, I can't imagine another loss so if we could guarantee getting pregnant and having one healthy baby, I'd go with one.. But obviously that can't be guaranteed.

If I were in your shoes, I would thaw and transfer thr two best. Ultimately, you have to go with what you and your Dh are comfortable with. I am rooting for you no matter what you decide. Hugs.

KDR1979

That is very tough. Couldn't you go back and do another FET...even if you have a singleton? Why are you limited to one pregnancy?fEt's are significantly cheaper & easier with my RE. My 5th IVF worked for us (for now...only 8 wks) but if we had a loss....I would only allow single embryo transfers fromThat point on. Research proves that transferring more than 1embryo just increases twin/tripletRisk & not chance of pregnancy. At this point, I would be happy with one healthy, full-term baby.This is just my opinion & it is totally up to you!

vanessagorc

Wow this is hard....

Are there any Drs that say twins is an ok idea?

Just a thought, and you don;t have to answer....would you consider selective reduction?  Since if you did an single FET, the other embie wouldn't be given a chance...i'm wondering if this was something the Dr presented to you.

HUGS, UGH....this is very hard.

Echloe

My RE convinced me to transfer just one after my loss since twins would be too difficult for me probably. It was a bfn and broke my heart. After that I only transferred two. 3 failed FETs and one failed IVF. The fourth FET transfer of 2 embies got me here. My point is that you never know what will happen. All of my embies and just one sticky bun. So my advice is to transfer 2 and see what happens.

mdluv21

KDR1979:

That is very tough. Couldn't you go back and do another FET...even if you have a singleton? Why are you limited to one pregnancy?fEt's are significantly cheaper & easier with my RE. My 5th IVF worked for us (for now...only 8 wks) but if we had a loss....I would only allow single embryo transfers fromThat point on. Research proves that transferring more than 1embryo just increases twin/tripletRisk & not chance of pregnancy. At this point, I would be happy with one healthy, full-term baby.This is just my opinion & it is totally up to you!

I just feel that if I am lucky enought to have one healthy baby I will be done with treatments and pregnancy.  After what happened I am scared to death of being pregnant.

I guess if I am lucky to get pregnant again and it is super smooth somehow I could change my mind but for now we are planning on just having one and being done.  If we decide we want a second child we would consider adoption.

 

mdluv21

vanessagorc:

Wow this is hard....

Are there any Drs that say twins is an ok idea?

Just a thought, and you don;t have to answer....would you consider selective reduction?  Since if you did an single FET, the other embie wouldn't be given a chance...i'm wondering if this was something the Dr presented to you.

HUGS, UGH....this is very hard.

I cannot do selective reduction even if I was ok with it because of my cervix being sewn shut.  It is impossible.

My RE and my doctor in Chicago both are ok with twins given I now have a TAC but neither of them are the ones who actually will be taking care of me when I am pregnant so I am having trouble going against my MFM but I am not sure if we use our frozens if we will do another fresh cycle so I want the best chance possible, you know?

 Thanks for the imput, it just helps to "talk" it through with you ladies who get it. 

vanessagorc

mdluv21:

vanessagorc:

Wow this is hard....

Are there any Drs that say twins is an ok idea?

Just a thought, and you don;t have to answer....would you consider selective reduction?  Since if you did an single FET, the other embie wouldn't be given a chance...i'm wondering if this was something the Dr presented to you.

HUGS, UGH....this is very hard.

I cannot do selective reduction even if I was ok with it because of my cervix being sewn shut.  It is impossible.

My RE and my doctor in Chicago both are ok with twins given I now have a TAC but neither of them are the ones who actually will be taking care of me when I am pregnant so I am having trouble going against my MFM but I am not sure if we use our frozens if we will do another fresh cycle so I want the best chance possible, you know?

 Thanks for the imput, it just helps to "talk" it through with you ladies who get it. 

Ok, now i understand...

I think i would get a 2nd opinion with another MFM...just to see what they say.  And then maybe take it from there.  HUGS

theworms

take my advice with a grain of salt, it is my non-scientific observations from being on this board for 4 years.

in my experience most of the multiples i've scene have been from fresh cycles over fet's .  maybe you can do a post on multiples or saif and ask how many transferred with FET and how many stuck.

in my experience i've done 2 fresh IVF's and 2 FET's and always transfer 2 embies

IVF#1 - BFP w/ twins

FET#1 - BFN

IVF#2 - BFP w/ 1

FET#2 - BFP w/ 1

i would do 2 i think

GL cutie, we got your back whatever you decide

HUGS &

JennPierog

I wish I had some advice, Lots of t&ps to you and DH with this decision

bubbas mama1

We were in this exact same situation - well, not exactly the same as your situation but similar I guess. For our 1st FET, we decided to thaw 2 & if they both survived the thaw we would transfer them both which that is what we did. That resulted in a chem PG. We did the same thing with FET & will know this Monday how many embies stuck.

My RE always told us that the number of embryos transferred doesn't increase your chances of multiples rather it increases your chances of becoming pregnant. I just prayed & left it in the hands of God & asked that he only give me what he thought I could handle. So we will see Monday the result

My opinion, I would transfer two - but ultimately in the end you have to do what is right for the both of you, not based on what the girls on this forum say. Go with your gut feeling - it is always right. Wishing you lots of luck sweetie in making your decision.

mdluv21

bubbas mama1:

We were in this exact same situation - well, not exactly the same as your situation but similar I guess. For our 1st FET, we decided to thaw 2 & if they both survived the thaw we would transfer them both which that is what we did. That resulted in a chem PG. We did the same thing with FET & will know this Monday how many embies stuck.

My RE always told us that the number of embryos transferred doesn't increase your chances of multiples rather it increases your chances of becoming pregnant. I just prayed & left it in the hands of God & asked that he only give me what he thought I could handle. So we will see Monday the result

My opinion, I would transfer two - but ultimately in the end you have to do what is right for the both of you, not based on what the girls on this forum say. Go with your gut feeling - it is always right. Wishing you lots of luck sweetie in making your decision.

I know DH and I ultimately have to make the decision but it helps me to talk it out with the ladies on this board.

I hope your appointment goes well!

mdluv21

theworms:

take my advice with a grain of salt, it is my non-scientific observations from being on this board for 4 years.

in my experience most of the multiples i've scene have been from fresh cycles over fet's .  maybe you can do a post on multiples or saif and ask how many transferred with FET and how many stuck.

in my experience i've done 2 fresh IVF's and 2 FET's and always transfer 2 embies

IVF#1 - BFP w/ twins

FET#1 - BFN

IVF#2 - BFP w/ 1

FET#2 - BFP w/ 1

i would do 2 i think

GL cutie, we got your back whatever you decide

HUGS &

Thanks worms - knowing you ladies are here for me no matter what I decide or what happens help beyond belief.

I think we are leaning towards transferring both and giving it our all but we will just have to continue to talk it over and try and come to a decision we can be at peace with.

cutebride73

Hey sweetie, I know this must be an incredibly difficult desicion after everything you've been through.  I guess if it were me I would have a hard time emotionally thawing both and letting one go.  And if the one didn't take I think that would be really hard to take.  Although, the 2 frozen together are the best grade, so most likely your best chance. 

I know with my last IVF they transferred 3 grade A embies (day 3) and I had a c/p.  I guess I would want to do whatever would give me the best odds of getting pregnant.  Especially since there are 2 dr's who are saying that twins would be okay.  Although, I know that would be an emotionally difficult (not to mention physically) pregnancy.     

(((hugs)))

Faith722

That's a really hard decision!

Given your history (I'm assuming that you transferred 2 last time and both stuck?), I would thaw and transfer one of the singles.  I wouldn't be able to discard one if both of the others survived the thaw. 

Good luck with your decision.

kthappy76

If I were you, or if I was cycling again, I would transfer one. Best of luck hon, these can be tough decisions.

kthappy76

bubbas mama1:

My RE always told us that the number of embryos transferred doesn't increase your chances of multiples rather it increases your chances of becoming pregnant.

This is the opposite of what I've always been told. Whether you get pg or not typically is determined by the quality of the embryo(s).

Jackie2200

It's a tough call. 

I was "lucky" in this last IVF in that I had only 1 to transfer.  Of course, I miss my twins and I miss the idea of twins but I feel better knowing that I have a better chance of bringing a baby home with just one in there.  I am incredibly nervous and scared with this singleton pregnancy already and if it were twins, I would be a disaster, which wouldn't be good for the babies either.  

I want a big family and assuming all goes well with this one baking now, I will transfer 2 in the future (assuming they can even get 2 eggs out of me).  The chances of carrying twins to term increases after you've had one full-term pregnancy. 

It's hard though when you're going through it all and have so much invested in the process.  I know.  During this last cycle, the morning of my transfer, we were considering thawing one of my frosties to transfer along with this one.  We wanted to do what was going to give us the highest chance, but we also decided to be safe.  Your TAC is good insurance but I think a full-term, healthy baby is the goal with us. 

Good Luck!

Kitttkattt

My MFM recommended a single transfer also. I got a second opinion from another MFM, at another hospital, different practice. Was told the same thing. So I decided to transfer one. If anything get a second opinion. If both MFM s agree, transfer one.

BeeBee08

I'm so sorry you have this tough decision ahead of you.  From what I "know" about you from the boards and from this post, if I were you, I would transfer 1.  But I probably would thaw one of the singles.  Just my opinion. 

m&m2006

i can't imagine the predicament that you are currently in...that's a tough call.  but, here is what i can tell you.  i transferred 3 embies and only one stuck.  seems like it's more common for 1 to stick than 2.  i guess if i was in your position, i would probably thaw the best 2 and transfer them both.

good luck with your decision...i know it's a tough one.

Hels

Can you get a second opinion from another local MFM? (if that one says twins are OK, I'd consider transferring 2). 

I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been thinking about you lately.  Hope this FET is the one for you.  

blueberries8

mdluv, just a thought - Would it be possible to perhaps thaw both embryos in the straw and then, assuming both survive, donate one for embryo adoption or donate one for research? If those are possibilities, it might help with your discomfort about potentially wasting or discarding a good embryo (not passing judgement on what I think you should do re: 1 vs. 2, just throwing another possibility out there). I am thinking of you, and hoping that regardless of what you guys decide, this FET will result in a healthy and successful pregnancy!

mdluv21

Hels:

Can you get a second opinion from another local MFM? (if that one says twins are OK, I'd consider transferring 2). 

I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been thinking about you lately.  Hope this FET is the one for you.  

Hey hon - I have already consulted with Stanford (where I had my loss) and they said no twins.  So my new MFM is the second doctor to say that.  Those are the only to MFM groups south of San Fran.

I hope you are doing well with your little girl.

njohnson1972

Given your history and 2 MFM recommendations for a single transfer, I would do that.  I would probably start with the embryos that are in the single straws.  If those 2 transfers didn't work, I would then reconsider thawing the 2 together and doing a transfer.

Good luck!