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Do you ever wish.....

dh was different? Like, did things different or acted different? I see other peoples dh's and I find myself wishing mine was more like theirs. Sometimes it's actions, looks (height, weight, hair, etc), jobs, personality, etc. I really try and not do this, and see the good in him the way he is....but it just happens!

Is this normal or a bad sign? Do you ever say "Why can't you______?" or "I wish you would______!"

Boo....I am a sucky wife! I often think I would be better living with another woman, or alone. Men drive me insane! 

Re: Do you ever wish.....

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    You're not alone. Mine is not so much his looks... but pretty much everything else. I wish he made more money, and was more practical and not so lazy and a lot of times he just bugs me. And I definitely say those things. I feel like a bad wife sometimes too, but on the other hand, i feel like he should be better too. We actually aren't having the best of times lately.. so maybe I'm a bad comparison for you though.
    The one thing I try to remember though is the grass IS always greener on the other side, meaning, even though I convince myself that everyone elses husband is better than mine (and yes, S, I have thought to myself how great your DH seems on several occasions)... everyone has their flaws and everyone has their own quips with their SO.. no one is perfect.. And also things are different behind closed doors!

     

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    Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
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    I feel this way too.  DH drives me crazy with some of the stuff he is doing lately.  We are NOT on the same page about a lot of stuff (big and little) and I find myself wishing a very random list of things.  I wish he like healthy food, wanted to move when I did, liked outside, worked on stuff around the house faster, cared about his clothes, etc.  And I agree that the grass is always greener.  I have definitely found out some things about some of my friends and their marriages that have kind of shocked me.
    O 10.08 & MJ 6.10
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    My DH never really does anything romantic.  Like he would never come home and surprise me with a little something special.  When I was pregnant, co-workers would bring me awesome snacks - I remember someone brought me pickles, another person brought me cracker jacks because I said I was having a craving and so she went to the grocery store right then.  It was so special to me.  And my DH never does anything like that.  He never remembers those special little things... and I know I've been like "I would LOVE that" like hint hint, and then he asks me what I want for Christmas. 

    But.. we're so alike in other ways, and I can't imagine getting along with anyone better.  

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    The thing I most often wish I could change is the hours DH works. Because he works such long shifts and switches from days to nights, back and forth, he is always tired. He is also not there to help in the mornings to help us get out the door, or he misses dinner or bedtime. Sometimes people talk about the DH and I think, "Oh I wish DH did that" but really when it comes down to it, DH is amazing and generally if I would just open my mouth and say something about what I want or need, he comes through. The problem comes in when I want him to just read my mind or just know I need something. Like pp's said, the grass is always greener, ya know?
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    Yep.

    We had a loooong talk a few weeks ago b/c he was constantly complaining about me never wanting to hook up (hi, I sleep like 2 hours a night and am covered in saggy skin). He accused me of not being attracted to him and I finally laid it all out- it's nothing physical but he is incredibly lazy and can be very selfish, un-involved with the kids. I watch other DH's dote on their kids, rub pregnant bellies, go to appts/things... mine would never do that kind of stuff. It is what it is and deep down I love him for who he is, he's trying to improve.

    Haha! Imagine if they had "nesties" what they would say about us ;)

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    Um yes.  IDK sometimes we are so compatible about things, and yet there's other things that we just aren't.  I think a lot of our couple stress/disagreement stems from the fact that I'm not working and he feels like he is always working to make up the slack (teaches, then coaches 3 seasons).  And I never feel appreciated for taking care of Jules 24/7.  It's kind of our catch 22.  But I have friends or guys that I see that are so involved with the kids or helping their wives, etc, and definitely feel pangs of jealousy/envy, but I know my DH isn't a bad guy and that those relationships have their downfalls too. 

    I think that there's always some area that we wish could be improved/changed in our relationships.  

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    I feel very blessed by my husband, and there is nothing that I would change about him.  Yes, do we get on each others nerves at times...of course, we are human, but overall he is a thoughtful, caring, spiritual guy who loves and cares for me and the boys beyond what I ever thought I would have.  We are always striving to improve our relationship, and know that as much as we each may have our faults, we try our hardest to care for one another to the best of our abilities.  
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    Yup, I think most people feel that way.  I know DH has said to me he wishes I was more active like I used to be pre-dd.  Not necessarily right now, being pregnant, but just in general. It really hurt me at the time, but now being away from the comment, he is right.  There are so many other things that I feel like I should do first, but I use them as excuses.  And then I sit on the bump like a lump.  So no wonder.

    And for him - My biggest thing is I wish he did more family things.  I love taking dd to the playground, or fair, or seabreeze.  She has so much fun and I just love being there with her.  I always see other kids out with both the mom and dad and it makes me sad.  But I also know a lot of those dads aren't home with their kid all day long, all week long.  So I try to remind myself that the way our schedule is - working opposite shifts, he needs some off time too.  And I love him being home with dd.  But selfishly, I kinda wish we were both M-F 9-5 workers and got to hang out as a family on the weekends and evenings.

    And I know I have said it on here before.  But I wish he was more like the stereotypical husband wanting to have sex more often.  And pregnancy only turns him off more, so ya...that's great.  Sometimes I feel like we are just roomates.

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    Oh I did think of one thing....I wish that he liked to dance :).  He just doesn't and I used to love to go out and dance...
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    Yeah, the thoughts run through my mind every now and then, especially when it comes time to pay bills. Why does he have to be a teacher? Why can't he be this, that, or the other? Why doesn't he want to lose weight? But then I think about what a wonderful husband and father he is, and how if he was in some other profession, I probably never would have met him. I guess I'd rather have a not so perfect life right now, but still have him by my side.
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    I just read an article about this being completely normal...(it was in Parents- this month's or last)...and while there are somethings I wish my DH did differently- when I *really* think about it- he really does try to make me happy and I'm pretty spoiled 

    whenever I really start to wonder- I think back to a couple of the serious relationships I had pre-DH and think how my life would have been- that shakes me out of whatever funk I'm in...LOL 

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    sure, I wish he was more of a handy man, and the projects around the house didn't take him weeks to do and extra money since it always needs to be corrected. But he tries, and I love him for it. He is suborn, and won't ask for help from my dad (who knows everything about carpentry, plumbing, electric etc) 

    I do sometimes wish things at his job were better... like they were 2-3 years ago, when we decided to have kids and I'd be a SAHM. I wish I didn't have to go back to work. But he offered to get a 2nd or even 3rd job if I wanted to stay home. I don't want to never see my husband, or not spend time together as a family. So I'm sucking it up and working, even though I hoped to be a SAHM for longer. We are a team and it is what needs to be done. 

    I would have never married him, or started a family with him if I didn't think he would be a good partner and father. He has exceeded my expectations on so many levels since I've gone back to work. He takes such great care of Evan, makes and cleans up from dinner, gets him ready for bed and even helps keep up with the housework. I honestly thought it would be a disaster, but he has proven me wrong! We sat down and had a conversation about how he'd need to step up and help out w/ things. Like no more rolling out of bed 10 minutes before he has to leave for work. He gets up early, makes sure Evan is fed/changed and helps out w/ whatever else I need.

     

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    Yes!  The grass is always greener though!  I'm the type of person who can't sit still at night and just do nothing.  I'm always doing laundry, cleaning up, organizing something etc.  I really like having a clean house and DH thinks it's always "good enough".  Sometimes I wish he was more involved in taking care of things around the house and did it to my standards!  LOL!  The fact is- DH is slow moving, never in a hurry, and not incredibly motivated outside of work.  I knew this when I married him and he's a balance to my intense, high energy lifestyle.  DH is also a spender and a poor money manager.  This drives me nuts and sometimes I wish he magically figured our finances out.  The fact is- he won't.  Ever.  I have to accept that.  On the other side....DH puts a lot of effort into caring for our family.  He is kind to my parents and extended family.  He is a wonderful Dad to DS.  I've found that keeping this in perspective is helpful. 
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    Yep.  For the most part I wouldn't change to much but there are some things.  Ever since he lost a lot of weight he is very critical about what we eat.  I am getting tired of the complaints and lectures on how I should be eating.  Part of me wishes he would go back to his old self of eating whatever before the weight loss.  I also wish he was more romantic or emotional.  He never does anything just because or to surprise me. 

    I know he has things he would change about me.  I'm sure it is normal to want your significant other to change at times.

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    imageJune4bride2be:
    I often think I would be better living with another woman, or alone. Men drive me insane! 

    It would be no different.  It's just about a partnership between two people regardless of gender.

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    Oh, I do agree the grass is always greener! I am glad I am not alone in this dept.!

    Can't live with him, can't live without him! lol


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