For Those That Were Planned

Jettscy

What made you take the leap?  Is it harder or easier than you thought?  Do you wish you had tried for a bigger age difference or do you think the age gap is good?  Any suggestions to the mom's with baby fever?

kcisthebombdotcom

We planned it before my 1st was even born. It made a lot of sense financially-I didnt want to work full time when my kids were small. If I put 3 or 4 years (or more) between kids, that meant taking an even more extended break from full time work, or paying daycare to watch my kids. Didnt like either idea. I also like the idea of getting the diaper/terrible 2s/teething out of the way, instead of moving past those stages with an older independent child then starting all over again.

Another big factor was that my DH had siblings spaced further apart and didnt have close relationships with them. Although kids spaced close dont automatically have a close relationship, I think the odds are in their favor more since they can share toys/experiences because theyre just about at the same place mentally. Plus, it's just one set of toys, which I like! My SIL has a 5.5 year old and a 6 month old, and her house is covered with toys because obviously her kids cant share toys. It's tough too because the baby wants to get into the older child's toys and he could choke on her toys.

My 2 are 12.5 months apart and I wouldnt change the gap if I could. It was a lot less challenging that I anticipated it to be. My oldest never got jealous and transitioned so easily to a sibling. In watching him play with kids his age, he is so much better behaved/patient/shares well, and I think it's due in part to having a sibling and not being the center of attention his whole life. 

You really can only plan so much, since your experience will vary depending on the temperament of the kids involved. If I had a colicky newborn and a difficult toddler, I'm sure I would wish I waited. Waiting doesnt mean things will be easier though-I have friends with 3/4/5 year age differences that have had a tough time.

I like this age gap for my first 2. I do want one more, but I wasnt brave enough to do 3u3. I'm going to have #3 (possibly) when my oldest is 3.5/youngest is 2.5. I think that's a good age gap as well.

HelloWaldorf

I got baby fever big time when DS hit 6 months. I also wanted my kids to be close in age so they'd always have someone to be best buds with. People thought me and DH were crazy (I'm 24, he's 27) but we love every minute (well almost) of our time with our little guys.

Some days are hard, but it's expected. You learn to find a balance and your heart grows.  It has been a great experience, and I don't regret it for a second. 

 The only complaint I had was during the end of my pregnancy, it was hard to chase a busy toddler around. But I survived , and it was so worth it.  

 Good luck in whatever decision you make ! : ) 

LDQAM516

We wanted ours close...first 2 are 21 months apart...the next two will be 25 months apart.  I really like it...especially now.  Though Iam sure I will regress with liking it when #3 actually arrives...but definitely feel way more at ease going from 2 to 3 than 1 to 2...I hope it sticks around and makes the transition a lot easier.  We have bad days but the good days are SO GOOD and so much fun. If you have baby fever...I say go for it...nobody can tell you what it will truly be like because every situation is different!  I would do it again in a heartbeat...

kcisthebombdotcom

mummyofsix:

Its always been easier than I expected. For the kids I LOVED the 14 month gap, and if my bones and body was all made of steel I would do 14 months between every child. However, it was harder on my body. For my body, 18 months was the best gap. 

Having children close together is wonderful. My 5th and 6th are 2.5 years and I HATE it.  

What didnt you like about the 2.5 year age difference? I'm considering this gap for my 2nd/3rd and want to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

mrsseguin

We knew we wanted our kids close in age.  We planned our pregnancies.  We always wanted 3 kids, but I had rough pregnancies with c-section deliveries.  That and the fact that DH and I have had a difficult time adjusting from 1-2 kids...we're done.  I am not so stressed now, but DH still has a hard time with the kids, especially when he's by himself.  It's been tough for us.  If we were to do it over again, I'd wait and space them out about 3 years.

Bride2b2004

mummyofsix:

I know lots of people think its crazy and are totally the opposite, but I would much rather have close gaps than 2+ years. I just find it easier for everyone.  

Totally agree.  We have almost a 4 year gap b/w #1 and #2 and it is good in some ways, but when we decided to try for #3, we wanted a very close gap for many of the reasons you cited.  

Bottom line is every age gap has its own challenges, you just make a choice that is right for your family!  GL deciding

gin78

I have yet to have #2, but we chose to have them close together. 

My first pregnancy was terrible and I was 31,  not necessarily old, but certainly not getting any younger.  We knew we wanted two kids, so I told my husband if he wanted to have another (I even suggested adopting with no avail), we were doing it right away.

I would have loved to have had twins.  I love the idea of having two kids close together in age.  I can't wait to watch them interact.  I'm hoping that they become great friends.  

I'm excited to concentrate on raising my babies 100%  instead of juggling working on having one while giving the first enough attention!  It's really hard being pregnant with a toddler.  I feel horrible every time I have a bad day. I'd rather get that over with while he's young, rather than three or four.  

We know it will be a challenge, but it will be worth it in the long run. 

 

 

12bailey18

I just knew I was ready, can't really explain it. It's like I loved DS so much I couldn't imagine waiting years to meet my second LO....as cheesy as that might sound. It's much easier than I thought but I think that just depends on the child and the newborn. I've been blessed with two "easy" kids. I love this age gap (19 months.) It IS hard but I don't know any different so I'm happy with our decision.

PhilsWife07

Baby fever kicked in hard once DS1 was a year. I wanted them close in age. I got pregnant when DS1 was fifteen months and DS2 was born two and a half weeks before DS1's second birthday.

We're going to wait til next summer to TTC #3, so DS2 and DC3 will be about two and a half years apart. The first six months with DS2 were really hard and I have trying pregnancies, so I'd like to wait longer this time. We may try for 2u2 again if we have a fourth, though. I think the age difference between the kids is great for them.

kcisthebombdotcom

mummyofsix:

KC_13:

mummyofsix:

Its always been easier than I expected. For the kids I LOVED the 14 month gap, and if my bones and body was all made of steel I would do 14 months between every child. However, it was harder on my body. For my body, 18 months was the best gap. 

Having children close together is wonderful. My 5th and 6th are 2.5 years and I HATE it.  

What didnt you like about the 2.5 year age difference? I'm considering this gap for my 2nd/3rd and want to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

I hate it because we have to deal with all the issues we totally avoided by having close gaps. I had my middle four kids in 32 months and it was a breeze- all were in diapers, all ate the same thing, went to bed at the same time, bathed together, played the same, etc. There was never any jealousy between 2, 3, 4 or 5 because they were too young to care and they never knew anything different than having so many of them all sharing toys/ Mommy/ Daddy/ everything. 

DD3 (DC5) was 2.5 when DC6 was born. Potty training one child when the other was in diapers was WAY harder than having 4 in diapers. Putting safety gates up for all four was no big deal, putting safety gates up for DC6 and then having DC5 be wanting to run around the house with her new barbie car: annoying. And now the older four are in school and its just 5 & 6 at home, we are starting to deal with some mad jealousy from DC5- and like I said thats something we NEVER dealt with before. 

I know lots of people think its crazy and are totally the opposite, but I would much rather have close gaps than 2+ years. I just find it easier for everyone.  

That makes a whole lot of sense. Thanks for sharing!

indomesticbliss

We don't have our 2nd yet, but ours were completely planned. When I was about 6 months pregnant with #1 we started talking about having 2u2 since we only want 2 children and we wanted them close together.

When LO was just under 7 months I was "late" on BCP and we freaked a little since we weren't really ready. When we got a BFN both DH and I were kind of sad. We waited until LO was 9 months to start TTC #2, and ours will be about 18.5 months apart. If we hadn't had the "scare" 2 months earlier, I don't know if we would have pulled the trigger when we did, probably would have waited until LO was 12 months.

KRISTA555

My 2nd hasn't been born yet, but I can tell you that this pregnancy has gone a lot smoother than I was expecting with a toddler.  You just make it work, ya know?

We just felt ready. I don't think there was anything that made us take the leap. But we were talking about another baby when Madelyn was only 5 or 6 months old. 

 I didn't start ovulating until she was 9 months (EBFer), and within 2 months of ovulating I got pregnant.

CaitlinJ22

Whenever Im not on birth control, I have major "lets have sex" days right before Ovulation so I had the fever BAD. DS was 6 months when I got my period again and I was still BFing. When he was 9 months my DH came home from his job away and we said, ok lets see what happens. Our plan was originally to TTC when he was 12 months or older. I wanted a 2 yr gap, but God had other plans and I got pregnant that day we decided to try for fun, I was shocked! But excited. They are 18 months apart. I love the spacing and they are so sweet at almost 16 months and almost 3 years. 

We are TTC #3 now and if I got pregnant now, they would be 2 years apart. I think its too much for me to be more than 2.5 years apart. If we go for #4 I already told DH that I want to TTC again when #3 is closer to 10 months again.

I SAH and DH makes a good living. We dont have family help much, but we have friends and thats a great help. For us, if I had really thought too much about #2, I wouldve got gun shy if we didnt get pg right away. I think too much, so for me, just seeing what happens was great.

GL 

marielovestimothy03

We planned our first two to be close in age because we wanted the close spacing. Granted I didn't think we'd get pregnant right away (I had an IUD after #1 and we got pregnant the cycle after it was removed) so they were a bit closer than I thought. I LOVE it though. It's honestly been SO much easier than I ever imagined. Not to say there aren't hard days or hectic moments. We were thinking about waiting a few years and doing 2u2 again with a similar age spacing (mine are 16.5 months apart) but life had different plans and now it looks like we'll have 3u3 for a bit! I'm looking forward to the close spacing though, our kids will be about the same spacing as DH and his siblings and they grew up SUPER close and had a lot of fun.