Oh No Another Newbie

JenniferTX

Sorry girls I'm sure you get the same dumb questions from those of us who are new.  I did read the FAQ post to make sure I didn't ask any of those questions at least.    My Ex was super controlling and emotionally abusive.  He did get somewhat physical once too (not leaving any marks but restraining & pushed me and held my hands together really hard to where my fingers hurt for at least a month.)  Geez, I guess that is more than somewhat, I've just never admitted it before I guess.  Anyways he has always been a very good dad and our worst fights haven't been in front of our daughter, lots of name calling and yelling that should have never happened but the true "rage" never happened in front of her.  He swears he's changed and wants us back.  He seems sooo very changed but I'm trying to be smart and tell him that if he's changed in a year still we can talk just to try and give myself some distance.  The real question is how is CS affected by % of visitation time.  TX standard CS is 20% but if he has her 40% of the time will it go down?  He is AWFUL with money.  He hasn't even filed taxes in 2009 or 2010 and is in default of his student loans.  He and I negotiated and got to 12.5% CS which would cover 1/2 of child support and maybe about $100 extra on top of that.  He said he will split medical bills, extracuricular activites, major clothing shopping twice a year and other big expenses.  Problem is, he is awful with money and I think it will be WWIII to get another penny out of his after the 12.5%.  Would I be crazy to agree?  I do have an attny, we go for our temp orders on Monday.  She "thinks" we could get better visitation time for me but hasn't answered the CS question.  I do want him in her life and she loves her daddy dearly.  We make about the same amount/year.  She is 2.5 years old. 

**Edited to correct that I have her 60%

PrettyInPearls23

CS is calculated differently in every state. But, to answer your overall question of "Should I agree to less and hope he coughs up the cash for the "other" expenses"....No. Don't do it that way. You'll never see the money.

AimesH

If he has her 60% of the time you would be the one needing to pay child support if any support is going to be given. 

Why would you give him the majority of the custody?

ShanJosh777

AimesH:

If he has her 60% of the time you would be the one needing to pay child support if any support is going to be given. 

Why would you give him the majority of the custody?

I could be completely wrong, but I don't think this is true. When my attorney was calculating CS, she looked at our combined incomes to figure out what monthly amount would go toward child-related expenses if we were together, then figured out what percent of that number we would each be responsible for based on the proportion of our individual incomes. I have DS 100% of the time (no overnight visitation) so there was no need to take that into account, but even if there was, if he makes substantially more money, he could still have to pay even if he has the child a little more of the time. At least that's the way I understand it to work in my state.

AimesH

ShanJosh777:

AimesH:

If he has her 60% of the time you would be the one needing to pay child support if any support is going to be given. 

Why would you give him the majority of the custody?

I could be completely wrong, but I don't think this is true. When my attorney was calculating CS, she looked at our combined incomes to figure out what monthly amount would go toward child-related expenses if we were together, then figured out what percent of that number we would each be responsible for based on the proportion of our individual incomes. I have DS 100% of the time (no overnight visitation) so there was no need to take that into account, but even if there was, if he makes substantially more money, he could still have to pay even if he has the child a little more of the time. At least that's the way I understand it to work in my state.

 

If she is in Texas I believe it is different.  I know in our case the custodial parents have a really good job and the non-custodial do not have a job at all and the non-custodial are still responsible for paying child support.

I was just bringing it up so she would know going in.  Just in case her EX had fed her some kind of BS

JenniferTX

Let me clarify. . .I would have her 60%, not him!  We make the same amount (more or less).  Also, I just talked to a few girlfriends who have been divorced with kids and they say to get all you can in court and then you can be nice later and let them have her more if they deserve it. 

AimesH

JenniferTX:

Let me clarify. . .I would have her 60%, not him!  We make the same amount (more or less).  Also, I just talked to a few girlfriends who have been divorced with kids and they say to get all you can in court and then you can be nice later and let them have her more if they deserve it. 

good advice good luck!