How do you handle this?

jnennapooh@aol.com

So on Saturday I started my last round of IF treatment we are dong Femara TI. After this treatment I need time to myself and I am not sure that we will ever do treatments again. After 7 years I just can not do it any more. I am pretty sure we will move on to adoption. Upon starting my femara. I got a phone call from my sister who has the same DX as me. She is 5 weeks pregnant with an oops baby. Everyone is waiting for me to fall apart. I just want to cry. I just do not understand. She was just Dx and has not done any treatments. I just do not know what to do. An my family keeps asking if I am ok and I know they are waiting for me to fall to pieces. I had to go for a walk and went to the park by my house and just sat there and cried for over an hour. I just dont know what to do.

SweetDahlia

I'm sorry. My sister was also IF. I guess. Everyone thought it would be harder for her, not sure why as I had been with an RE for over a year by then and she was just told she had pcos. She got pregnant 4 months later and here I am 4 years later.

I actually don't speak to her anymore. I wasn't at all happy for her, she was like a huge drama queen those 4 months and there were a lot of cruel things said on her part and I said stuff. My family was not at all cool about it, they took her side and the first thing my mom said was that I had to be happy for her. I don't do well with being told how to feel. She still tells people she is IF and that pisses me off the most.

I hope it goes better for you. I really don't know what to say and have no advice. I guess don't do what I did, but I don't think I could have at the time.

If you ever want to vent though I am here for you.

Jackie2200

My sister was 9 weeks pregnant (with an IVF baby) when I lost my IVF twins.  I barely spoke to her for the remainder of her pregnancy.  It was too hard.  She had the baby in August.  I haven't spoken to her at all.  Not the best situation but there's some drama behind our lack of communication.

Basically, they posted a birth announcement on Facebook before telling me via text.  I found out that she had the kid via a wall post that one of her friend's mom's posted on my wall. 

I emailed my sister a few days later saying that eventhough I knew it was going to be a hard phone call for her to make to me, and that I wasn't exactly looking forward to the news, it hurt my feelings that they couldn't even call me.  I then got a nasty, nasty email from my BIL going on an on about how selfish I've been during the past 6 months and how dare I upset my sister when she was trying to nurse the baby.  He went on to bsically say that everyone else has grieved and gotten over my loss so why can't I?  

Needless to say, that is why I haven't, and won't speak to my sister for a long time or my BIL probably never again. 

All in all, the whole thing has been really hard on me and my family and I don't have any good advice to offer.  Just ((big hugs)).  It sucks! 

 

SweetDahlia

Jackie2200:

My sister was 9 weeks pregnant (with an IVF baby) when I lost my IVF twins.  I barely spoke to her for the remainder of her pregnancy.  It was too hard.  She had the baby in August.  I haven't spoken to her at all.  Not the best situation but there's some drama behind our lack of communication.

Basically, they posted a birth announcement on Facebook before telling me via text.  I found out that she had the kid via a wall post that one of her friend's mom's posted on my wall. 

I emailed my sister a few days later saying that eventhough I knew it was going to be a hard phone call for her to make to me, and that I wasn't exactly looking forward to the news, it hurt my feelings that they couldn't even call me.  I then got a nasty, nasty email from my BIL going on an on about how selfish I've been during the past 6 months and how dare I upset my sister when she was trying to nurse the baby.  He went on to bsically say that everyone else has grieved and gotten over my loss so why can't I?  

Needless to say, that is why I haven't, and won't speak to my sister for a long time or my BIL probably never again. 

All in all, the whole thing has been really hard on me and my family and I don't have any good advice to offer.  Just ((big hugs)).  It sucks! 

Hugs. So sorry. I hate that people can be so cruel. I don't understand why people don't get it.

Jackie2200

SweetDahlia:

Jackie2200:

My sister was 9 weeks pregnant (with an IVF baby) when I lost my IVF twins.  I barely spoke to her for the remainder of her pregnancy.  It was too hard.  She had the baby in August.  I haven't spoken to her at all.  Not the best situation but there's some drama behind our lack of communication.

Basically, they posted a birth announcement on Facebook before telling me via text.  I found out that she had the kid via a wall post that one of her friend's mom's posted on my wall. 

I emailed my sister a few days later saying that eventhough I knew it was going to be a hard phone call for her to make to me, and that I wasn't exactly looking forward to the news, it hurt my feelings that they couldn't even call me.  I then got a nasty, nasty email from my BIL going on an on about how selfish I've been during the past 6 months and how dare I upset my sister when she was trying to nurse the baby.  He went on to bsically say that everyone else has grieved and gotten over my loss so why can't I?  

Needless to say, that is why I haven't, and won't speak to my sister for a long time or my BIL probably never again. 

All in all, the whole thing has been really hard on me and my family and I don't have any good advice to offer.  Just ((big hugs)).  It sucks! 

Hugs. So sorry. I hate that people can be so cruel. I don't understand why people don't get it.

 Thanks!  People do suck and I'm mortified that my family sounds like we belong on a Jerry Springer show! We all have Master's degrees for goodness sake. They apparently don't teach emotional intelligence where my sis and BIL went to school.  I hate them and couldn't care less about speaking to them again. 

abvernon

Oh I am so sorry to hear about this? Why are people, especially family members so cruel?

jnennapooh@aol.com

Thank you so much ladies!

MBfromBMC

I am so sorry...  I know it hurts so bad when others have success so easily...

BeeBee08

MBfromBMC:

I am so sorry...  I know it hurts so bad when others have success so easily...

This.  I'm so sorry too.  It stings.

meg_koole

I am so sorry sweetie.  I have a SIL that doesn't get it (and can get pregnant easy) who thinks that she understands and that I am too sensitive. 

You can't fix stupid and some people are just so narcissistic that they can't see that other people are dealing with a tough situation....

illinigal

Hugs.  I'm sorry you are dealing with this.  Unfortunately, I don't have any advice because my family is awesome even though non of them understand exactly what I'm going through.