Anyone have a traumatic C-section?

Ripli

6 weeks ago I had my c-section, I'm just now finding the courage to talk about what happened. I was in labor for about 2 days before I had my c-section, I was induced because I had gestational diabetes and was past the 40week due date. After a long time the baby's head just wasn't coming down so the decision to go ahead with a c-section was made. I was relieved, as after 2 days I was beyond exhausted.

I'm starting to feel as though I should perhaps talk to a health professional about what happened, but I don't know how to go about it or where to begin, I'm really shy and this is such an emotional thing for me, every time I think about it or talk about it I start crying. I don't know what to do. 

In short, my c-section was traumatic because I felt incredible amounts of pain the entire time. Although I wasn't lucid and couldn't open my eyes, not even to look at my baby when she came out, I could feel intense pain, at one point I wondered if I was going to die and asked Jesus to take my soul should I die. During the hour after the baby came out, when they were stitching me up, I spent the entire time crying out "Ahhhh!!! OWWWWW!!!" Trying to convey that I was in pain. The more I think about it, the more I can't believe that no one in that operating room realized that I was feeling discomfort. I can't believe they just got on with what they were doing while the patient lay crying out in pain on the table. I watch those baby story shows where the mom has a c-section and its a complete world away from what I experienced. I was crying out in agony for an hour and no one in that room realized I was feeling anything. I can't help but think, remembering how much I was crying out, how could they not know? Surely it wasn't a normal thing for the patient to cry out so much? I did start to go into shock immediately after which they told me was normal, so I can't help but wonder that if the shock was normal then perhaps the pain is normal too?

I've spent the past 6 weeks trying not think about it, because I'm frightened of it triggering a panic attack or a crying jag, I admit I do feel the beginnings of a panic attack when I dwell on it for too long. But I also feel a need to talk about it and to cry about it. Maybe to grieve it.

I think I just wanted to reach out on here and see if anyone else has gone through this.

 

 

magdalina.h

Was your husband in the room during your c/s? There is a girl on both that could feel her c/s and thought she was screaming out in pain,but her husband said she didn't. She has a medical condition that made the spinal not able to work properly. It's very rare. I think you need to find someone to talk to about your experience.

ETA: It's somewhat similar, but not really. When we took Aidan off life support I remember screaming at the top of my lungs to stop and to let him stay on. What really happened is that I just sat there sobbing until it was time for me to hold him. I

Switzerland

What a terrible experience! My c-section was traumatic for me b/c I was unprepared for what recovery was like, etc but I never felt any pain thru the surgery.

Have you told your OB this? I would definitely tell someone and I would definitely seek some professional help. If you talk to your OB they should be able to offer a recommendation on who to reach out to discuss the experience of pain you had. If you don't talk to someone this definitely could make you fear future pregnancies/surgeries. I might even consider getting a copy of the operative report to see what was written in there about how your surgery went from the Dr perspective, etc in case your Dr is not helpful when you discuss what happened. 

I am so sorry you went thru this I cannot imagine what you had ot have been feeling during the surgery.  

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

Mine was, but not for the same reasons yours was.  I agree with others, was your dh in the room and did he hear you crying out?  I only ask because my body was involuntarily doing things that I didn't know it was doing while I was in a semi-conscious/unconscious state from a bad reaction to things.  If I could do things involuntarily, I think that it could be possible for someone to not do something they are intending to do.  Either way, I think you should talk to someone about what happened because it isn't "normal".

toriwc

My situation was much like yours, but for less time.  I had a failed spinal, and could feel most of what was going on.  It was agony.  I was crying and moaning, and begging the nurse at my head to do something. (DH confirms this).  After they got the baby out (about 10 minutes), they knocked me out.  Actually, I didn't realize they knocked me out. I feel as though I could still feel what they were doing, but DH told me they did. 

I meet with my OB tomorrow for my first post op appt and plan to discuss this with her, though it's not really her issue, but one for the anesthesiologist.  But I keep having dreams about it.  It was definitely not the birth experience I had expected (and it was a scheduled c/s).

Smudges*Mom

I am so sorry that you experienced such a difficult c-section. I can't imagine feeling the surgery. My heart goes out to you.

I feel that my delivery experience was traumatic, but not because of the pain. Its a long story, but ultimately, at 41w5d, I was diagnosed with Pre-e and HELLP Syndrome. My LO is two now, and I am still angry about how things were handled by certain doctors. I am thankful for the OB who realized how sick I was and delivered my son. But my OB of record sucked and if I were to ever run into him, I think that I would try to assault him (lucky for him we moved out of state). I am less angry now than I was 2 years ago, but it is going to take me a while longer to really get past these feelings.

Please find a counselor who has worked with women who have experienced what you have. You do not have to suffer in silence. Good luck.

mrsseguin

I'm an L&D nurse.  I've been in a few c-sections where the patient has been extremely uncomfortable and once where they ended up doing a general anesthesia half way through the case because the patient was so uncomfortable.  There is someone from anesthesia always at your head who should be taking care of the pain.  Usually they can give some IV meds.  I'm sorry you had a bad experience.  Some cases I've seen have been really hard to see the patient go through...some feel a lot of the surgery.  I will always question anesthesia as to whether they gave additional meds and ask the patient if they are ok.  This usually gets anesthesia up there trying to help.  I hope you can talk to someone about your experience.   

baseballcr8zd

PinkLily1234:

I experienced the most intense burning I have ever felt in my entire life. 

 

This. I was in labor fotr 12 hours with DS. I had made zero progress during that time and my doctor suggested having a c-section. I had gotten an epidural about 9 hours into labor but could move the whole time. Once in the OR I apparently received more meds. They started and I asked if it was supposed to burn that bad...once I said that my doctors stopped. They gave me something to numb down there and once the baby was out they knocked me out.

I think you should definately talk to someone about what happened to you.

annabelle.27

I'm sorry you experienced this... my epidural didn't take properly either, initially, and I felt them cut. However, I was mostly numb, so it wasn't excrutiating like you describe- it stung like hell and I cried out and they pumped more meds into me, which solved the problem.

I also find it extremely odd that no one did anything. Wasn't your husband there? Wasn't the anesthesiologist sitting a foot from your head? Have you talked to your husband about this? How does he explain what he saw and heard?

LadyExtravaganza

Your experience could certainly result in PTSD and you should be seeing a therapist about it. I'm sorry, it sounds so awful.

I could feel everything in my c/s but, thankfully, I felt no pain. Only discomfort. 

byrne15

I had a traumatic c-sec, but differently

I pushed for 1.5 hours when they needed to do an episiotomy (which i completely felt) and used forceps (I remember wondering if I was dying because the pain was so great)

Once, the forceps didn't work they brought me into the OR and intubated me while I was still awake.  That was the last thing I remember.  I woke up 2 hours after ds was born and had no emotion for a few days after he was born.

I completely know what you are going through.  I felt this way for a long time after my c-section, and not everyone can understand that it was traumatic since, "ds and I are fine"

daisy889

Mine was a nightmare in the making. I was in labour for 2 days, then finally pushed for 3 hours!! They warned me i might need a c-ssection at the 2 hour mark and said keep trying, so i did as surgery and me do not go down ever!

So ofcourse they tell me its time for a csection right now, a whole bunch of people come running up and start stabbing me with needles (I guess to get me ready for the c-section?)

They wheel me out - then into the surgery room. All i really remeber is great big baseball field lights and a cold metal table. It was like a horror scene. They slide me onto the table and put a oxygen mask on my face, as i was trying to move it because i couldnt breath (it wasnt on properly it was squishing my face) They tore my arms apart and strapped me down to this "cross like" table.

After that they ripped off all my clothes and i was lying there naked shivering and crying because i was so scared. I guess i passed out or something? So i woke up mid c-section not remebering what was happening and started squirming because i felt poking and i called out i can feel that (When i remebered where i was) Once again i was out and woke up to a nurse pushing DD into my face.

I couldnt move, I couldnt look at her. I just felt paralized as i cried. Once again I guess i passed out? Woke up in a entirely different room to DH sitting beside me. I asked him where was he, why werent you there, i was so scared, etc etc I looked around and couldnt see DD.

He explained to me i have been sleeping, and DD was in the NICU because they gave me to much drugs! They wanted to see if they had affected her (they didnt)

Then he goes to show me her pictures on his CELLPHONE. So yes the first time i saw my daughter was a picture on a cellphone. You can imagine how pissed i am right about now, so as i nodded in and out shaking and freezing (side effects?)  They roll in with DD tell me everyone has seen her and shes fine and i can hold her now.. UMMM WHAT?! everyone who i don't like on DH's family saw my kid before me?! 

Anyways past that me being mad on and on the nurse trys to give me DD i couldnt hold her, not only that i couldnt hold her. I couldnt move. So she just laid her on my chest and DH took a pic.

About 6,12,20,32 hours later, i could move... just not my legs. I thought i was paralized. The nurses kept coming in putting ice on my legs to see if i could feel it. I couldnt, the look on their faces everytime they did that made me so upset, so distraught. It was horrible. Mid night i began to push and push and adventually moved my toes, legs etc. Im ok Thank God!

I wasnnt able to enjoy my baby and birth because the nurses were rude like wow soooo completely rude!! I was drugged to a extent where i was vegetablee like, also i couldnt walk or get out of bed for 4 days, I couldnt believe i had surgery (im someone who has NEVER had blood work before i got pregnant-needles are a no-go)  And i was just plain old pissed i saw my baby LAST!.

So all in all the moral of the story is i also had a traumatic experience - yours ofcourse sounds wayyyyyy worseee by far. I think you should seek some councelling etc. And just adding this side note in, even if they did relieze you could feel it, once they were in they had to get that baby out pain or not. Sorry you had to feel that, maybe they tryed all the drugs they could? If not and they were just being incompetant i would look further into it. Good Luck

Bathlove

I think you should get in touch with some managers at that hospital to leave a complaint. I would probably schedule a meeting with them and discuss what you went through. Doctors and nurses make mistakes, and it's important that you let the hospital know what you went through so that they make sure it doesn't happen again. Also, I think you would feel better emotionally if you talk to the hospital about it. Depending on the details of what happened and how the hospital responds to your complaint, you might want to talk to a lawyer. If the hospital seems indifferent to your feelings, I would definitely talk with a lawyer.

susandefazio

My daughter is now 8 months old. I was in labor for about 9 1/2 hours..after nine hours they realized even though it was a mild form, my dwarfism caused my hips to develope wrong. There was almost a 0% chance my daughter would survive delivery. I went in for a c-section about an hour later (against medical advice, they wanted me in right away but I wanted to wait a little longer to see if my mother could be at the hospital.)The Anesthesiologists  who did the spinal had never done one on someone my size (4'9 3/4" and barely 100 pounds before pregnancy). My husband has told me that during most of the surgery I was arching my body and trying to move away from the doctors and nurses. I was wake and know something was going wrong. The anesthesiologist was giving me more drugs and trying to calm me down. Later my husband over heard the doctor questioning the anesthesiologist about what happened. It was not as bad as your story and I wish I had some comforting words, but I know IF my husband and I try for another baby I will have to have a c-section and I am very worried. I havent told my husband yet but one of the reasons I am questioning if I want another child is because I am worried about another c-section.