How would you feel about this?
My daughter tends to get a little aggressive with her hugging. She goes to a daycare where she is the youngest "walker" and so she gets played with kind of roughly and that's how she's associated her playing to be like.
Well today, while hanging out with friends at their house this weekend, Ryleigh was trying to give her friend Landon a hug, and hugged a little too tightly for him (he's nine months) and he started to cry and get upset. I don't think she was seriously hurting him, he was just upset. Well rather than moving her away nicely, my friend hit her on the chest to get her away. It was kind of a hard hit too. She of course cried.
I was really upset by this. I have NEVER hit another person's child, even when they were hurting my daughter. Would you be upset by this? WDYT?
Re: How would you feel about this?
Heck yeah I'd be upset! That was seriously uncalled for, as an adult you have to know that you are much stronger than a baby and she could have simply pulled Ryleigh off of her kid no problem. I think she panicked and didn't think but that's no excuse. I think maybe she should have thought if roles were reversed would she want you to hit her child like that? Of course not.
Did you talk to her about it?
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I would be very upset!!
However
When my 13 month old nephew was visiting and K was 2 months old he grabbed her face, because he was interested, and I knocked him down(he wasnt walking yet, cruising) to get him away from her. It was like a reflex. I am not proud, but maybe it's just a mother instinct?
As I was saying over on 2nd Tri, I'm too much of a pansy to say something to her directly. I'm fumigating here on my own, but I can't think of a tactful way of saying something that wouldn't possibly lose her as a friend. (It's kind of a friendship that's in the process of building, and frankly, I don't have many friends down here, if you know what I mean) So anyway, what's a good way to go around saying something that may not cause a loss in friendship?
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Well then maybe just casually bring it up and say that it bothered you and that you don't think she meant to do that and you struggled with saying something because of your friendship but it had really been bugging you. Just kind of mention that you wouldn't have been so rough with her child if the roles were reversed and you'd appreciate the same even though you know as a parent your instinct sometimes takes over quickly. But keep it casual not like a "OMG! Sit down we have to talk or our friendship is over!" convo.
If she's worth keeping around, she'll listen. I know if I had done that, I'd have felt horrible and apologized profusely and the whole thing would have been squashed when it happened...but maybe she's embarassed and wanted to forget the incident?
OMG. My jaw dropped just reading this.
I totally understand the "mama bear" instinct. I have gotten mad at random kids at the playground who hit or push my son. But it kinda scares me that her reaction is a physical reaction and not a verbal one. KWIM?
For HER child's sake, I think it would be beneficial if you could bring this up with her. Just remind her that children learn to be rough when they see it. So if she is rough with her son, that teaches him that it is OK to be rough.
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I would be very angry about it. If it really bothered her, she should just remove her child from the area, not touch your child.
I would be furious. She had no right to shove your child like that. Your DD is so young and most likely had no idea that she was causing discomfort to the baby (I won't say hurt the baby, since she didn't). Honestly, I don't know if I would want this person as a friend but I do understand your situation.
My nephew stepped on C's butt this weekend and I started to say something, but C didn't cry and just kept playing as if nothing happened. My SIL corrected my nephew and made him apologize to C, but that was it. I think this was an appropriate response to this situation but that's just my opinion.
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I haven't spoken to her yet, but I'm going to. And doing it nicely!
I will accept the fact that it was probably a quick reaction on my friend's part, she probably wasn't even thinking when she hit my daughter, but I would have expected an appology and I haven't even got one, not yet atleast. Her husband kind of half-ass appologized, but even that didn't really sound sincere. And my DH isn't going to say anything, because he claims he didn't see it happen, just heard it. I'll keep you all posted!