Loving a name shared by a family member

austenreader85

but not naming LO "after" the family member.

For example, DH's aunt's name is Katherine and we both really like it.  I prefer the Catherine spelling and it's a contender for hypothetical DD 1:  Margaret ____.

We're pretty sure this aunt wouldn't assume she's being named after herself.  She's cool like that.  But, we also really love this aunt, so it's not entirely separate.

On the other hand, we also love Elizabeth.  DH's other aunt's name is Elizabeth, we think she's crazy.  So, if we did Katherine, would we have to do Elizabeth at some point to not seem to be picking favorites?  If we did choose both, simply because we love the names, is there any sort of diplomatic way to squash the notion that we are naming her after this aunt? 

Futhermore, FIL has always expected a grandson named after himself.  We chose not to continue that with DS and unless we have an insane amount of sons and some how hate all other names available, will never go that route.  I'm sure he'd have quite the fit if it seemed like we were naming daughters after his sisters but not a son after him.

And lastly, another contender for phantom Margaret, is the middle name Rose.  I've always, always, always loved it.  I've loved Rose as both a FN and a MN and I do love Margaret and Rose together.  It's also my middle name.  I always sign my name FN R LN or sometimes even FN Rose LN.  At work, because there is another girl with my FN, I actually go by Rose.  It's no secret that it's my MN and I worry that if I used, it would also carry the stigma that I'm naming her after myself.

I know this has been long, and kind of disjointed, and it's all hypothetical, but still concerns me.

kurokai

My mn is Katherine and I have an aunt Catherine, but she's never once made the assumption that I was named after her. It's just coincidence that she's my favorite of my dad's sisters. 

DS is going to be Logan Timothy James K----, because I couldn't decide between middle names and SO said just do both and I actually really like it. Everyone in the family with the name James is assuming he's named after them - and that's about six people.

If you name your daughter Margaret Rose I'd have nothing against it even though you go by Rose. I know a woman whose name was Robin and she named her daughter Robin Lorraine, because she liked the name so much. I didn't judge.

queenbone

1) Using the same name as favored aunt is fine.

2) Using name of unfavored aunt:

   a) Can you find another connection that you could offer as the reason you chose it?  ie a character or historical figure?

   b) Don't feel obligated to use her name too if you have used the favored aunt's name.

3) Your Dad needs to get over himself.  You are under no obligation to name your child after anyone.

4) I see nothing wrong with giving a daughter your MN, even if you sometimes go by it.  Lots of people give a child the mother's maiden name as a MN or FN; I don't see this as much different.