First I am just going to say that this post is the result of 2 months of blood, sweat, tears, and frustration. To make a long story short, I have a very, VERY difficult LO.
I often find myself extremely jealous of many (and I mean MANY) of you moms here on the bump. I hate seeing posts like "what time do you put your 2 month old down for the night?" Why? Because there is no "put the baby down for the night" in my house. LO will only sleep in our bed, right up against me. So therefore she is a screaming hot mess from 4:00pm-10:00 every single day since she won't nap (as I said, won't sleep anywhere but in my bed with me) and DH and I don't go to bed ourselves until 10:00.
I also want to cry when I see posts about making dinner. For the past 2 months DH and I have been living off of microwavable meals since LO will not let us make dinner...and we have to take turns eating our dinners ("here you hold the baby while I eat, then I'll hold her while you eat"). This is all due to her screaming if she is put down.
This one wasn't something I read on TB but a co-worker had her baby a week before I had mine and just posted on facebook that she "finished her novel and needs recommendations." NOVEL?! Really?! I could only DREAM of having time to read a book. DH and I can't even watch a 30 minute sitcom because LO is screaming her head off all evening (and remember, she does not nap).
I could go on forever...
Two months ago I was old by so many people that "it gets better" but I have yet to see anything get better. I cry every single day of my life. I have been to therapy, it has not helped. I am seriously about to commit myself. DH and I were both dealt very difficult hands in life (he battled cancer twice as a teen and I was with him then). I find myself asking God every day, "why couldn't we have just been cut a break for once in our lives?? WHY??"