August 2011 Moms
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For all you thinking of stopping BF/EPing
Realize that the guilt that you are feeling is mostly caused by hormones. I swear there is something inside of you that will cause you to feel guilt about weaning no matter if you wean now or when they are two.
If in your head you know that stopping is best for your family, then by all means, switch to formula. The guilt will go away when your milk is gone. And if you end up regretting your decision, your body can relactate even after a few weeks.
In the end you have to do what is best for the entire family. You count too and there's no reason to be miserable when formula is a wonderful alternative.
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Re: For all you thinking of stopping BF/EPing
That's why I posted this. I EP'd until 7 months with my first child and it was hard. I didn't stop because I didn't feel like I could. As a mom I needed to make that sacrifice for her, even though I was miserable. Someone IRL saw right through the mommy martyr thing and gave me permission to stop. I felt super guilty through the process but after the milk was gone I was so much happier.
And this time BFing is working out. So it's great when it does work out, but when it doesn't you shouldn't feel like you have to be tied to the pump.
Also, can we talk about methods of stopping BF/EPing? For you ladies that have stopped or are planning to, how are you going about drying up your milk and making sure you don't get clogged ducts, mastitis, or an abscess?
So far I have tried:
- quitting cold turkey (didn't work, I became painfully engorged)
- BFing only when I couldn't take the engorgement anymore (this has helped, I'm down to BFing about 1-2 times per day now, just so I don't get clogged ducts or mastitis)
- cold cabbage leaves in my bra (this helped a lot to reduce engorgement)
- bought some No More Milk Tea to help dry up my milk. It is being delivered today and I plan to drink 3 cups per day. I can let you ladies know next week if it worked. https://www.amazon.com/Earth-Mama-Angel-Baby-Organic/dp/B0032AM8JQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1317399258&sr=8-1
I also found peace reading stories from other moms who had to quit BFing and how they coped with the guilt. See here: https://www.babycenter.com/400_how-can-i-come-to-terms-with-my-guilty-feelings-about-quitti_500346_0.bc?startIndex=330&sortFieldName=
When I stopped I pumped only to relieve engorgement when I couldn't take it anymore. I dried up in a few days, although I'd randomly get milk for up to a month afterwards. Even months later I could squeeze some out if I wanted.
Have you tried Sudafed? Anything that dries up your sinuses will also dry up your milk.
No, I haven't tried Sudafed yet, but I've heard about it. The first (and last) time I took Sudafed for a cold, I was loopy and felt like my brain was shriveling up. I promptly threw out the whole box. I didn't like how it made me feel, but if all other options are not working, I'll probably try one dose.
Sing it sister!! This was such a good post. I was reading on 0-3 that some women feel that this site offers a ton of pressure to BF... As a BFer, maybe I'm blind to that, but I never felt that way (I planned to FF DS1 before he was born).
Is that really the way it is? Hands down... Happy mom, happy baby, happy family.
Man, I love my pumping breaks... I'd breastfeed for two years if pumping keeps going so well! I am fortunate to have a great supervisor though.
Interestingly enough, breastfeeding/pumping does make me think twice about consuming dairy products... knowing that those cows are hooked up to pumping mechanisms all day long. That would be no fun!
Thank you so much for posting this!!
I have been EPing since birth due to latching issues and my mik ducts being clogged with blood after delivery - DS was FF for 5 days until I was clear enough to feed. Amazingly enough I think DS has finally figured out latching, but not 100%.
I have finally come to terms with the fact that I flat out REFUSE to pump 7 times a day for the next year. Hopefuly DS will continue to latch fairly well (he still takes .5-1.5 ounces from a bottle after 20 minutes of nursing) and it wont be an issue. Otherwise I will pump 3-4 times a day and fill any gaps with formula. I am tired of living my life by this pump! It seriously rules everything I do. I was thinking of going for a walk with DS in the park today. But last time I did that and went for a nice 45 minute walk I came home in a mad rush to pump and feed DS. And it never fails that DS starts to fuss while I am pumping and I feel horrible that I cant do anything to help him. I plan on pumping in the am around 7, around 12 or 1, then 5ish and again 10ish before I go to bed through this weekend. It's what I did yesterday and I was able to get to bed a full hour earlier then usual. If that goes well I will remove the 12ish pumping and the 5ish pumping and do a 3ish pumping. Tonight I am going to try to skip my 3 am pumping. If I end up in serious pain the morning H will be home to care for DS while I pump. But I can't stand it any longer. I hate it. If DS latches well then forget pumping all together and he needs some formula, so be it. I don't want to give up BFing all together, because it's important to me to do it. But I can't keep living the way I am. My mom wants to go shopping next week, I am putting it off because I have to figure out how to pump right before leaving and immediately once coming home..... and the whole time out I will be stressed about getting back in time.
Maybe we need to start a EPing support group? Supporting both doing it and giving it up.
Remember, it doesn't have to be all or nothing either. If you want, you can wean him to only BFing like twice a day (morning and evening perhaps) for snuggle time and do formula for all other feedings. I decided to stop all BFing because I'm in pain. Were it not for the pain, I would have considered doing it twice a day when I go back to work.
Also, I hear you on the pumping. I tried that for a few days and I stopped because I was missing out on time with DS (he was either sitting in the RNP watching me pump, or out in the living room enjoying time with dad). I am going back to work on Nov 1st. I didn't want to regret not spending time with my son in lieu of being attached to the pump.
Yes, there is pressure, but I will admit that some of it is self-induced. We want so badly to BF and when we read of others who are having such an easy time, or having a hard time but still soldiering on, it makes some of us feel guilty for whatever reason BFing is not working for us and our families.
Most ladies on the bump don't post their success to rub it in others faces, but to the person having a hard time and their hormones all out of whack, we may feel "well if she can do it, I can do it too" and push ourselves to the point of a meltdown.
I give major kudos to those who stick it out for however long, but it's hard to give up when you go buy a can of formula and it's printed on the package "Experts agree breastfeeding is best." I'll tell you that felt like a kick when I was down.
But as jelliebean said, a lot of the guilt comes from your hormones and it will pass!
I'm so glad you posted this! I haven't had any trouble with BFing or pumping, and I really do enjoy BFing a LOT, but since i returned to work on Monday I have been absolutely hating pumping. The time commitment is hard with my job, although I do find time to do it. DD eats 12-14 oz of breastmilk at daycare, but I only pump 9-10. Breastmilk never seems to fill her up at night, so we've switched her to formula in the evenings and I end up pumping what I have and sending it to daycare the next day.
Mostly I want to quit because it's just not enjoyable anymore. I still love our late night/early morning feedings, but that's about it. That's the only time I get to nurse her. I wish I could bottle feed and still have her cuddled up belly-to-belly like she is when she nurses!