Can't get my toddler to sleep

Happy2bNappy

DS is 17 mths old, he sleeps in our bed. Before he started Daycare 3 weeks ago he would take a nap around 4 or 5pm and would be asleep most nights by midnight the latest. Now hes in daycare when I pick him up about 4:30 we get home shortly after he is starving and dead tired so he ends up napping from about 5:30 to sometimes 7 or 8. It is hard to try to keep him awake when I see he is so tired, of course I can't change the daycare's naptime which is 11:30am - 1:30pm. How do I get him to go to sleep at nights please give me your suggestions.

P.S. Because he sleeps in our bed I am scared he will fall off so I don't want to just leave him in bed to soothe himself to sleep.

 

lemen99

This chart has been helpful to me and my kids follow it.

 

At 17 months it is the norm for kids to have one mid-day nap of decent length (2 hours is a good length IMO).  My kid needs a little more than that but I think 2 hours is okay too.  Is he actually napping for 2 hours during the allotted nap time?

I would expect your child to need about 11-12 hours of sleep at night.  If he is sleeping well at night, most kids will be rested enough to get by with one nap at this age.  Otherwise I would wonder about sleep apnea or some other sleep issue resulting in poor sleep.

Midnight is just far too late for your toddler to be going to bed.  Without knowing more about his night time sleep I can't way why he needs a nap around 4-5, but that seems odd.   If he can't make it to bed time (like at least 6 pm -what time does he get up in the morning?) then I would def talk to your pedi as soon as you can.

One last thought - what is his adjusted age?  Some kids do need 2 naps until 18 months or so.  If he needs 2 at daycare and cannot get 2, I personally would look for another childcare situation that is more flexible.  My son needs his sleep and it is one of our top priorities to make sure he is able to overcome all we are asking him to do.

 

Happy2bNappy

He is 15 mths adjusted. If he would go to bed at a reasonable hour he would probably need only one nap per day. On the weekends he sleeps until 9:30 or 10, but on Mon and Tues I wake him up around 9 cause I have to be at work by 10:30a.m. Then on Wed, Thurs & Fri I have to wake him up at 8 - which is cutting it close - because he goes to therapy on those days. So most times he is one tired baby. He is napping right now but he seem to be able to get by on power naps because sometimes I only allow him to nap for only an hour at this time, he will be cranky at first but then he will go on until his usual time 12 - 1:00 a.m. It is obvious sometimes that he is sleepy when I try to get him to go to sleep at nights but he fights the sleep with everything he has.

I don't think he is having issues during the night because he sleeps very well, he has been sttn from about 3 or 4 mths. One thing that I notice that happens on the weekend (which is when he wakes up on his own in the morning) is that his nap is sometimes only 45mins to an hour and when this happens he wakes up seemingly well refreshed.

I really appreciate your response and the chart, I just have to figure out how to break the cycle and hope that it works.

P.S. If he is tired and wants to nap the daycare will let him, but because he is so busy with all the activities and other kids he doesnt do so until we get home. That is when he realize that he is starving and tired

lemen99

I def thing you need to be consistent and be strict to get him on some sort of normal schedule.  Talk to daycare about how to get him to nap there, and if he won't, I would do everything to keep him up until 7 or so and put him to bed for the night and don't let him get up and play until midnight.  That is just my opinion.

sucrets4

DD is worn out by 7pm.  I know that this might be unpopular, but I think that later than 9pm is entirely too late for a toddler to go to bed.  The nap schedule at DC isn't working too well since that nap time is geared for kids to go to bed earlier.  

If I were you, I'd try to get him to go to bed much earlier by moving it up a little bit (30 min or so) at a time.  Believe me, I love sleeping in (a LOT), but I just don't think it's natural for most kids. 

hnyloven

I used to have this issue with my DS. If he went to bed anytime before 10 or so he'd be up in a couple of hours ready to play for the rest of the night. Most of that was due to me being off for the summer and us traveling a lot so it was ok then. He is now going to sleep around 8:30-9:00 at night and still wakes up around 9:00 or later the next morning most days. He takes about a 2 hour nap around noon. If he needs another nap after I get home around 4 I only let him sleep for about an hour. My general "rule" is that there is no napping past 6:30 that way he'll be ready for bed by 9:30 at the latest.

Happy2bNappy

I know that the solution to this problem is to cut out that late nap. But he gets super cranky if I try to keep him up so I let him for both of our peace of mind. Daycare will allow the toddlers to nap whenever but he naps at nap time because everybody else is down for a nap, otherwise he is too busy playing and exploring so he will not nap until he is home where all the excitement is gone.

I do try to put him to sleep from as early as nine - I do the bath, eating and story thingy, turn off all distractions and lay there with him, I even pretend I am sleeping (I end up falling asleep before him a lot) but he will pull my hair or try to open my eyes to get my attention. It is not until he is entirely worn out that he will go to sleep.

Another contributor to this may be that he had bad reflux when he was younger and he had apnea with it also, I did not trust the apnea monitor so we would always have him wherever we were (in the living room watching TV etc) until at least one of us was ready for bed so that he was always being watched. Also I was home with him for almost a year so what time he goes to sleep wasnt so much an issue.

Thanks for all your responses I will try to work on cutting out that late nap.