Any twin mamas here?

lkstor

I'm disheartened by the overall non-AP vibe of the multiples community. Obviously there are exceptions to every generalization, but thus far I've been given a lot of advice from moms of multiples about "schedules" and "babywise" and "pump or give formula in a bottle so you can feed both simultaneously" and "skip the Moby - get a bouncy seat instead". IDK. Maybe I'm just hormonal. Any mamas with experience care to chime in?

SoldiersGreenBean

We do a lot of things AP.  We had 2 bouncers and 2 swings, but we also had to Mei Tais and 2 Ergos (I have pictures of both H and I wearing both at once).

I EBFed until I went back to work, then added formula to supplement what I couldn't keep up with.  We CD, we coslept in the early days.  We didn't CIO, Babywise, Ferber, etc, although we did get them both on the same feeding/sleeping schedule early on (don't insist that you'll feed them both on demand until you try it.  If you ever want to eat/sleep yourself, you may find it easier to use the addage "if one's hungry, they're both hungry").

The best advice I have is never say never, and do what works best for you, H, and the kids.  That's true in just about everything, really.

lkstor

SoldiersGreenBean:

We do a lot of things AP.  We had 2 bouncers and 2 swings, but we also had to Mei Tais and 2 Ergos (I have pictures of both H and I wearing both at once).

I EBFed until I went back to work, then added formula to supplement what I couldn't keep up with.  We CD, we coslept in the early days.  We didn't CIO, Babywise, Ferber, etc, although we did get them both on the same feeding/sleeping schedule early on (don't insist that you'll feed them both on demand until you try it.  If you ever want to eat/sleep yourself, you may find it easier to use the addage "if one's hungry, they're both hungry").

The best advice I have is never say never, and do what works best for you, H, and the kids.  That's true in just about everything, really.

Thanks!  I totally understand that feeding 2 "on demand" would be incredibly difficult.  

I guess I just wanted some reassurance that I wouldn't have to change ALL of my established parenting beliefs/strategies.  

Appreciate the input  

ETA - It looks like my kids are spaced out just about the same as yours?  I might have to bug you for more advice in the future  

Spenjamins

Being AP doesn't mean you have to BF or skip a bouncy seat. Wraps are not really helpful past a few months unless you and DH each use one.  And a bouncy seat can be a lifesaver since you can hold each bottle and snuggle and interact with them while they eat. 

BFing was tough b/c my guys were in the NICU.  Pumping was great because both DH and I got to snuggle with them and feed them together.   My boys are so completely bonded with their father and I think the fact that he has been so involved from day #1 played a big role.

We never had a strict schedule, CIO or Babywised them. We co-slept until they were about 4 and still do sometimes.

Just see what happens and do not get wrapped up in what you will and will not be able to do yet. AP is a mindset, not a set of rules which make or break anything. It is about listening to your child and yourselves and working to create a strong nurturing attachment with your child.

Having twins is different and remember, they like to be close to each other, too!  So using a couple bouncy chairs next to each other or letting them hang out in a pak-n-play together is different than if they were alone.

My advice - you and your SO need to be absolutely 50/50 in terms of day-to-day child care. And as for all the rest, just go with the flow and see what works best.

Enjoy the ride. Twins are the BEST!

 

atlbride23

I agree, I got the same vibe from many MOMs, but it's not universal, for sure. There are definitely AP MOMs out there. You just have to do what works for you. Personally, I found nursing (just now trying to wean at 2) and cosleeping, etc to be essential tools for dealing with twins. (not that those things are what make a parent AP, just examples of what helped me) It just made everything easier. (less dishes, more sleep, kwim?) Go with your gut. It's definitely not the same as a singleton, so yes, you might like to use a bouncy seat at times, but that's okay, too

SoldiersGreenBean

lkstor:

SoldiersGreenBean:

We do a lot of things AP.  We had 2 bouncers and 2 swings, but we also had to Mei Tais and 2 Ergos (I have pictures of both H and I wearing both at once).

I EBFed until I went back to work, then added formula to supplement what I couldn't keep up with.  We CD, we coslept in the early days.  We didn't CIO, Babywise, Ferber, etc, although we did get them both on the same feeding/sleeping schedule early on (don't insist that you'll feed them both on demand until you try it.  If you ever want to eat/sleep yourself, you may find it easier to use the addage "if one's hungry, they're both hungry").

The best advice I have is never say never, and do what works best for you, H, and the kids.  That's true in just about everything, really.

Thanks!  I totally understand that feeding 2 "on demand" would be incredibly difficult.  

I guess I just wanted some reassurance that I wouldn't have to change ALL of my established parenting beliefs/strategies.  

Appreciate the input  

ETA - It looks like my kids are spaced out just about the same as yours?  I might have to bug you for more advice in the future  

Almost exactly spaced!  DD1 was 2y3m when the twins were born.  I lurk over here, but you can page me on the Multiples or Working Moms boards.

You definitely don't have to change your beliefs/strategies.  Adapt? Certainly.  But as long as you do what works for you and them, you'll be all set. 

thiswillbe

I mostly lurk, but thought I'd jump in, as another twin mom. We're pretty AP. I didn't really know what "AP" was before the kids were born, but just followed my gut and found that what we were doing generally fits AP principles.

And, FWIW, people (even twin parents sometimes) seem to forget that twins are actually two separate kids, and-- like any siblings-- what works for one kid might not work for another. We parent our twins pretty much the same, and one has turned out to be a great sleeper (even STTN in her crib in the past few weeks) and one has turned out to need a lot of night parenting (and starts the night in his crib, but then comes to bed and nurses off and on during the night). So, even if you did do strict schedules, etc. those strategies might work for one but not the other.

Mrs_MBed

I have been thinking about the same thing, I am so glad I cam across this thread! Its been so nice to read all of your responses!  I loved co-sleeping/bf'ing the girls and have been wondering how I'm going to do this with the boys.  This gives me a lot more hope

Temp123197812503460

I had similar thoughts while pregnant with our twins who are now 7 weeks. I've found that so far trying to stick to a schedule is actually more stressful for me than just going with the flow and following their cues (but it helps that I've had a fair bit of help so far). We tried the one up both up at night but one of the babies hates being woken up and willnjust cry and not eat. So we stopped that and now he is the one who sleeps 5 hours a night at 7 weeks! In the swing, because that's where he will sleep The biggest thing I've learned so far is to be flexible, both on using tools like the swing, and on going with the flow with their schedules and like another poster said it's really interesting to see how different thingsnwork for the different babies

atlbride23:

I agree, I got the same vibe from many MOMs, but it's not universal, for sure. There are definitely AP MOMs out there. You just have to do what works for you. Personally, I found nursing (just now trying to wean at 2) and cosleeping, etc to be essential tools for dealing with twins. (not that those things are what make a parent AP, just examples of what helped me) It just made everything easier. (less dishes, more sleep, kwim?) Go with your gut. It's definitely not the same as a singleton, so yes, you might like to use a bouncy seat at times, but that's okay, too

Totally agree with this! For me the wrap (Maya wrap ring sling) has been a lifesaver so far. It always calms my more fussy baby, and let's me interact with both at once. In desperate moments i can still fit both in it at once, and if only one is in there I can push the slign to the side to feed the other one (since they aren't on exactly the same schedule this is important!)