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January 2012 Moms
Let's vent! What are you SOOO sick of hearing??
I'm in a venting mood. I'm about to go in to work a 12+ hour night shift, and I'm not excited. I get all kinds of pregnancy tidbits all night from my coworkers. Anyone want to join me in my venting?
I am SO sick of hearing...
...you are so small, you'll definitely have to have a C-section! (I am terrified of having to have a c-section. I may be super duper small normally, but small people have babies vaginally too! My mom is one of the worst for telling me this)
...What?? You don't WANT a C-section? (No, I'm not in favor of having my insides cut open unless they absolutely have to be. I know many people want and hope to have a C-section, but I am not one of them!)
...your breastfeeding? Oh you'll never make it! Pumping and working here will be too hard. (Yes I'm aware that I don't work in a very breastfeeding friendly environment. Yes I'm aware I barely have time to pee as it is. But give me some support people!)
...when you go into labor we'll be able to hear you all the way down here! (I work on the same floor as L&D. I'm not a screamer, and if you people don't stop making me feel like a zoo attraction, I'm going to make a point of not letting you know I'm here!)
...I hope I'm working when you go into labor so I can come see you all night! (Really? I'm a FTM, who is going to be in LABOR...Again I am not a zoo attraction. I'll need to try to rest while I can.)
...you won't be able to work up until you have her. You'll be on bedrest by then. (Unless you suddenly started working for my OB and have access to my files, how would you possibly know if I have a chance of being put on bedrest?)
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Re: Let's vent! What are you SOOO sick of hearing??
"Oh it's another boy? Bummer."
"Now you're going to have to 'try for the girl'"
Disclaimer: I took a little adjustment period after learning that I wasn't going to have a daughter (ever because this is our last kid). But I'm excited about my little man and excited to have two boys and never convey it in any other way that would invite that sort of reaction. Honest.
Also. no offense to anyone who has done this, but IMO "trying for the girl" is a terrible reason to have another child if you weren't already wanting to (which we aren't).
Oh I forgot one!!
...what are you going to do with you and your husband both working night shifts? You will have to work opposite schedules! (No I won't be working an opposite schedule than my husband. If it comes down to that, I'll find a new job. Working opposite schedules would mean that I literally would NEVER see him unless one of us was asleep. I'm sorry but my marriage/family is much more important to me than this job!)
I can't stand the 'JUST WAIT' comments anymore.
Especially when I say I'm excited about somethig I hear "oh just wait until you are so huge you can't breathe, you can't walk, wait till your baby comes and you don't sleep for days, you won't be excited then, oh just wait until colic comes, oh just wait, oh just wait" AAAHHH DRIVES ME NUTS! Just b/c you have experienced those things, doesn't mean everyone else will!
And the "you are to small to have a v-birth you will have a c-section for sure!
Also, "you will never make it med-free you will be begging for the epi as soon as you hit 6cm
UGH!
Agreed! You could very easily have another boy and then people be saying the same thing all over again! I do understand wanting one of each, really I do, but that should not be your motivation behind getting pregnant!!
Oh my goodness I could have wrote this myself! I may seriously scream if one certain person gives me her smirky grin and laugh then says "Just wait until....blah blah blah" just because she had a baby a year ago.
What are you drinking? Does that have Caffiene in it?!?!
-yes, I allow myself to have the little amount of caffiene that my doctor has already said was okay. You are not pregnant, nor have you ever been pregnant...leave me alone!
You know you shouldn't be on a ladder....
I'm not doing acrobatics, I'm getting cups. And I'm barely even showing..I am OKAY.
You won't be able to work up until you have the baby.....
as stated above.
GIR
I have had multiple people tell me about how in Asia women just give birth real fast standing up in the rice paddy and then get right back to work.
Seriously?? I don't even know how to respond to this, yay for 3rd world countries with no healthcare and high infant and maternal mortality rates? Why are you telling me this?
I think people are just trying to say "don't be nervous, women do it all the time" or something but it makes me want to kick them. I even got this from a male coworker. Because he apparently knows all about how easy labor is, yeesh!
Why would they tell people that? That is crazy! I have some people telling me I need to buy a few premie outfits (simply because DH & I are small people), and many others telling me not to buy any newborn clothes because she won't be able to wear them anyway. Annoying!
"you're still working out? is that safe for the baby?!"
"no epidural? hahaha, let me know how that goes" followed by evil laugh
"don't count on your husband helping out guys never do"
"you won't make it, working/working out up until the day of "
11.2011 - DS1
02.2013 - loss at 6 wks
06.2014 - DS2
10.2015 - loss at 12 wks
03.2017 - DD
Don't let them stress you, I know lots of TINY Mom's who have delivered vaginally!
Sick of hearing:
You will deliver early FOR SURE. You are too little to carry to term. I don't want to go early. Actually I want to go late. I want to finish my holiday season at work so I'm not completely screwing the clients who rely on me, and I want to have some time after that to relax and get ready for baby. I would love for my baby to be born in January so he can be the oldest in the class and not the youngest, and the further from Christmas the better. If he DOES come early that is fine, but my preference is that he waits until the new year.
You are going to be SOOOO uncomfortable... Yes I am aware. Thank you for pointing that out. I am already horribly uncomfortable and dealing with complications. I realize that I will be but I don't want to hear it from everyone.
You won't cloth diaper/breast feed/deliver without and epi... Maybe not, but I am going to try, and why the need to be negative about it?! I will give all of those things the best shot I can because it is my preference, why can't people be supportive and offer helpful tips instead of scoffing?!
That is going to be a HUGE baby... How do you know?! I wasn't a particularly big baby, neither was his Dad. His half sister only weighed 5.5 at term. I am huge, I look like I swallowed a basket ball but I am also 5'3" with a short torso and crooked spine, it has nothing to do with the size of my baby. Also I don't care if he's huge. As long as he comes out safely, I really don't care.
I'm sure there's more... lol
Wow you have some really negative people around you! Jeesh!
To the "too small" comment... all that matters is the size of your pelvis and no one can tell that by looking at you. Your frame doesn't indicate anything!
I'm tired of people asking how I'm feeling... and that's super rotten of me, I know. I should be glad everyone cares but it keeps making me feel like I'm sick or something.
-Its a girl for sure i can tell by the way you touch your tummy. ( really? my baby is very low and if i were to touch where i feel the baby it would look like im masterbating so i touch my tummy higher to make it less awkard)
-so do you know and just not telling people?
-im just tired of everything and anything people say lol
Oh also, I wish people would stop telling me how tired I'm going to be. No sh!t sherlock. I'm a single mother who will be running a business and caring for a newborn, I'm going to be exhausted. Stop reminding me and trying to scare me. I don't have another option so I will have to deal!
That and people pointing out that I'm going to have to push a baby out of my vagina. Yes. Yes I will, and I'm sure it hurts like heck. That's life, I will deal.
Okay so this may be completely TMI...
...but my husband has GI problems, which I will spare the details of. But if he compares it to my pregnancy/labor one more time (as in he's been through worse or knows what it'll feel like), or comes out of the bathroom and says that he just "pooped out an 8lb baby," I...MAY...KILL...HIM!
Sorry DH, but your bowel contents does not have a ginormous head and body that has to be pushed out at one time.
omgomgomgomg THIS. yes.
" You're only 23 weeks? Wow you're going to be hugh."~
" You think you're tired now, just wait until after the baby comes"~ No way, really? Gee thanks for clarifying that for me , because I thought I would have the energy of my 3 year old god son after I have this baby.
"Are you delivering here? OH great, when you have the baby we can all come down and see you"~ Not happening, I probably won't tell them the baby is here, until we are home.
" How's MY baby"~ Um, hello. This baby belongs to me and my husband.. As I recall, it was only us two there when he was concieved.
They can tell by the way you touch your tummy? Really? That makes no sense!
Also I'm sick of people telling me that my DH has no idea what he is in for. We neither really do, we are first time parents. But we will figure it out and will do the best we can for our baby! My DH will be one amazing father!
After seeing me, "You are TOTALLY having a girl!"
I know what that implies, the whole girl taking your beauty away thing. Not a compliment!
Also, someone the other day asked me if I was having 1 or 2. Really?! I am not huge!!
People have no tact!
I'm full of them today...this post is super therapeutic for me right now!
...it could still be twins. Are you sure it isn't twins? Sometimes one hides in the US. (We have had an US 3 times now. There has never been more than one heartbeat, and never more than one baby. Yes I know your 80 year old neighbor had twins and didn't find out until she delivered. Although this may still happen, it is quite rare, and I'm pretty sure technology has progressed quite a bit since then. Not to mention, there are NO twins anywhere on either side of our family.)
My Mom says the same thing to me.
I'm sick of hearing "you just don't understand". I understand babies don't sleep when I want them too, I understand I will be tired, I understand that plans do change...I understand!!!
Yes this! I am all belly and quite big and people keep telling me this all the time. It is NOT TWINS. It is one baby boy. I can feel one baby moving and kicking and rolling. I have had FIVE u/s. It's not twins! (sigh, very theraputic!)
I was just about to post this...almost word for word
Wow, you're going to have your hands full.....yes full of LOVE!!
It's not like I am the first person that has has 3 kids
My FIL told me to be careful lifting at least 3 times while we moved some of our stuff. I had to tell him that this isn't my first rodeo and I know what I am comfortable carrying. oy
Speech therapist came over today and asked if I would be okay doing row row row your boat. I love her and I understand that she just cares but if I couldn't be pg and sit with my 2yo and go back and forth, I would be in a whole hell of a lot of trouble.
I got a dirty look by climbing a rock wall to make sure my 2yo wouldn't try to come down it. It wasn't that high(I don't know why they even put it there. It leaves a huge hole at least 10 feet off the ground on this play structure so I always get nervous that she is going to fall.
My MIL said "Let me hug your fat" Yeah, that really makes me feel so good about myself. Thanks!
<><
Tizzle 10/07 ~ Boppy 7/09 ~ Chicken 1/12
Books read in 2013: ~ Audiobooks listened to in 2013: 3
Currently reading: The Fiery Cross by Diana Gabaldon
Currently listening to: The Dark Divine by Bree Despain
my currently-reading shelf:
...I've gotten this one several times this week....
"Woooowwww, look at you! Must be any day now, huh?" To which I try to laugh off and say, "Yeah, any day in 2012!!" I don't think I'm obnoxiously huge, but all these frickin' people seem to think I look like I'm ready to drop a baby on the floor at any moment!!
Then, after I tell them due date is 1/4, they say "Oh, that can't be right! I bet that baby comes ___ (their prediction)." Like I don't know when I got pregnant. Like I wasn't taking meds on very specific dates as ordered by my OB to help me get pregnant. Like I wasn't doing daily ovulation tests. Like I haven't had ultrasounds that confirm my due date. GAAAH!!!
GIVE ME A BREAK PEOPLE!!
And all the others you've listed too... it's like a broken record over and over, playing out in each of our lives!! Haha.
I hate all the unsolicited advice. People that have never been pregnant telling me I need to breast feed.
People I don't know telling me to buy maternity underwear.
People telling me that I don't need an epidural.
I am REALLY tired of people asking me how I feel then they tell me to quit whining when I tell them the truth. So annoying.
I hate this one! My SIL says it all the time thinking she's funny. I've told her I've had 4 u/s (2 of which were the detailed a/s with 3D) and several heartbeat checks, only ever one. She's a nurse, think she'd be more practical than that. Can't wait til it's her turn...
"It wasn't like that when I was pregnant." (unless you had two or more babies in your uterus- which none of these people ever do- then shut up!)
"better you than me!" (I guess so. I like to think of twins as a blessing but if you don't then I'm glad it's me and not you.)
"Two for the price of one!" (sorry buddy, it's not the price of one. If you're referring to actual money spent, then for most things I'm buying two AT ONCE instead of spread out where I can use hand-me-downs for the second. If you're referring to the number of times that I'm pregant, then just remember that my uterus is 8 weeks bigger than yours and I have an automatic high-risk pregnancy. It's not the price of one.)
I feel better already!
You're not registering for bottles? Trust me, you won't last BF'ing, you should register for bottles. And then they proceed to tell me which bottles they prefer.
Well you better enjoy that now because you won't get to do it once LO has arrived. No crap I won't be able to take a nap at my leisure.
Just wait until you child throws a temper tantrum! Um, I had your child in my classroom when they would throw the hellacious fits but what you didn't have to deal with was him pushing and hitting other kids while the director was in the room and trying to tell him to use "nice touches". If you would discipline him instead of videoing him and laughing I wouldn't have had that problem. So trust me, I can handle a temper tantrum.
Your blood pressure medicine will make you sick. No, it has stablized my blood pressure.
I don't know why you're so tired. You should ask the doctor about that. It can't be healthy. Helloooo?!! I'm pregnant and just a couple weeks from my third trimester.
Exactly!!!!
Are you in my head? 'Cause if one more person prefaces a sentence with the words 'just wait' I'm going to scream.
I've been in childcare for over a decade, I do not need advice from parents of infants. I'm aware there are things I won't understand until I have the baby, but pretty sure I know what the hell I'm doing and have been doing it for far longer.
But the thing that pisses me off the most is the breastfeeding lecture. Yes, I am formula feeding. End. Of. Story. No, I don't want to hear about how much better breastmilk is. I've written essays on why breastmilk is better, thanks. And as far as bonding goes? I'm carrying this baby for 9 months and he's already the best thing in my life. We'll bond, promise.
Oh pick me!
I am SO sick of people telling me I'll forget about my dogs, that they'll be "just dogs" when the baby is born. That I'll want to get rid of them. Blah blah blah. Gosh people really don't know me. I work at an animal rescue for goodness sake!
Ditto. Sometimes I want to ask them, "Have you ever had a room full of 9 screaming infants all wanting something different and trying to meet all those needs at once? Yeah, that's what I thought."
I love when parents that I have do the just wait comments and tell when stuff their child does. Um, I'm with your child more during their waking hours..I think I know their habits. I can handle this.
This. I'm set on cloth diapering, breast feeding, and going without an epi. I'm sick of the "just you wait" comments about all of those. You know what? People have done all of those things for AGES and you know what else? They are OKAY.
And the anti-cloth diapering thing really bugs me. I am 100% aware that it means more laundry, but you know what? Having a baby means more laundry anyway and if I can spend less money on disposable diapers and save a bit of waste, I'm going to try to make it work.
/Rant.
Ahh, so glad to find someone in the same boat! Is it just me, or does maternity leave sometimes sound like an exotic vacation simply because it's six weeks with just ONE child?
I second the girls who are sick of the "just wait!" comments.
Instead of being excited with me when I felt the baby move for the first time I got a flood of "OH just wait! In a few weeks when he's kicking your bladder it won't be so cute!" or "I'm x number of weeks pregnant!" "Hang in there! x weeks is nothing!"
Good lord. Just let me be excited about milestones, already.
I am so incredibly sick of my husband's family telling me I am having a boy because of their boy/girl ratio in their family. I'm sorry did you happen to jump into my uterus and take a peek while I wasn't looking? It is a freaking 50-50 chance and YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM HAVING AND WILL NOT FIND OUT UNTIL AFTER I DO!
I recently had a middle aged aquarium caretaker say to me, "Oh, that's a nice bump there. Hopefully it's all baby." WHAT?!?! It was so stupid, I just laughed at him. He must've not been thinking at all.
Today I was asked how much weight I've gained so far. That was by a female coworker. I just told her (minus two pounds!) since I was caught off guard.