Looking to the future...(sorry, got long)

Accounting Chick

I know I'm so putting the cart before the horse here, but I was hoping you ladies could give me some good insight and thoughts.

I've always wanted two kidlets.  My husband and I have been on the same page about this.  He is currently finishing up his degree through distance education and it will likely take him another 2-3 years. 

He recently told me that when we try for #2, he wants to be done school by the time the 2nd one comes along - which I completely understand.  Here's the dilemna:

We tried almost 3 years for this little guy.  We had unexplained IF and from the preliminary tests that we did, we were both part of the problem (i.e. his little guys couldn't find anything, even if there was something to find).  We actually had our first appointment with a fertility specialist the day of our +HPT.  This pregnancy did happen on its own, with no interventions (I was temping, but that's it). 

There are some *possible* reasons that may be attributed to us suddenly getting pregnant:
1.  I had just found out (1 month earlier) that I had passed my Chartered Accountant exam - a 3 day, 13 hour exam that was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.  The weight that was lifted was amazing.  The stress of pursuing my designation could have had something to do with our IF.
2.  I had finally accepted that we were going to need help getting pregnant and was finally on board with possible treatments.  You do hear stories about people who get pregnant as soon as they decide to adopt and/or adopt their child as the pressure is suddenly gone. 
3.  I had just gone through surgery (1 month earlier) to remove a large dermoid cyst that was on my left ovary (ovary had to be removed as well).  Who knows what effect the cyst had on things and it had been around for a long time.  We actually got pregnant the one time we had sex after my surgery (6 weeks post surgery).

My big fear is that if we wait to start trying until he's done school, that it's going to take another 3 years (I don't really want 5-6 years between the LO's).  His big fear is that we will get pregnant right away. 

What would you ladies do?  Sorry for this getting so long.  A piece of homemade pizza to all who made it through!  (This happens to be my breakfast...mmmm...cold homemade pizza...) 

HannahsMom21

I agree with the PP. It took my DH and I awhile to conceive so I do understand your concern though. I would share your specific concern about too much time between children bothers you and hopefully you will be able to come up with time period that works for both of you. FWIW...my DH and I agreed this wouldn't be our last but recently I've heard him say he might be done after this. I was upset at first but then I realized I too was putting the cart before the horse and it wasn't an issue that needed to be fixed "right away". Later I found out he is worried he won't be able to balance his time between our DD #1 and DD #2. I told him to give himself a break and to let things just roll and we would figure it out when the time came

iggy.d

In some ways I can totally relate. About a year and a half ago, I also had surgery to remove a cyst, losing the ovary and tube in the process. With this LO, we intended to wait until DH finished up his MBA (next Spring). I started wondering/worrying we'd have trouble conceiving, thinking it could likely take a long while, and wondering if we should try sooner rather than later. We are both in our 30s so I was worried about it taking years, as can commonly happen, and just felt like too much time was wasting (since we want more than one LO). 

We talked it out. A lot. Once we realized we could make it work even if we conceived right away, that outweighed our desire to wait and try to time it "perfectly" (as if that exists). We conceived 2 months later, and I know it will be tricky to have a newborn and DH finishing up his program, but I know it was the right decision for us. This might not be a conversation you need to have right away, but in the next few months as things with your LO settle into more a routine, I'd suggest a lot of conversations. GL!