preschool bully issue?

baby*love

This is DD's 2nd year at her preschool (last year she did the 3 yr old class, this year she's doing the 4yr class MWF a.m.) She has all the same teachers/staff and we are completely pleased and happy with everyone there and the school itself.

It seems in this year's class there are a few children from last year's 4yr old class who are repeating the 4yr old yprogram again due to not being ready for K for one reason or another.  Of the new students, it seems that there are a few with some behavioral issues. My DD (who never ever had any issues with any other kids last year) is coming home each day to tell us about the same "new student" who pinches her neck, yesterday this student threw marbles in her face ;(  We are trying to encourage our daughter to stand up for herself and tell this girl to stop it and to find a teacher and let a teacher know immediately what is going on. Problem is, whenever she tells us this happens she tells us "I couldn't say anything, I was too sad." ;(   

 That said,  I don't think it is really affecting her overall preschool experience this year. She is still happy, outgoing, has lots of friends in school. She always just mentions this incidents way after the fact - like she'll tell us about a zillion other things that happened at school first.  My Dh and I aren't sure what to do. Do we speak to a teacher and let her know what is happening? Ask her to watch for this? Speak to the other parents? Just keep encouraging our daughter to tell this girl to stop it and tell a teacher?

thanks

 

bls27

I would keep doing exactly what you are doing in reference to your daughter.  However, I would also speak to the teacher and make her aware.  Let her know that this has really been bothering your daughter and you would like the teacher to watch for it.  As far as the parents go, I wouldn't say anything at this point- that could cause more problems.

 Sorry that it's happening.  It's a real heart-breaker when our kids go through things like this.  :-(

PinkPiano

I also have a 4 year old in pre-school.  I think you did the right thing by encouraging her to stand up for herself.  If you don't think she can though, I would talk to her teacher and mention your concern.

Also, my dd comes home with a lot of the same comments.  Yesterday she said someone hit her.  I asked if it was on purpose or an accident, she said an accident.  I asked if she was hurt, she said no.  Basically, she's kind of in a tattletale stage so I am always sure to clarify to determine if it's really an issue or not.  You may also want to ask if the teacher saw/noticed.  Sometimes they tend to leave out key pieces of the story.

 

 

Bride2b2004

bls27:

I would keep doing exactly what you are doing in reference to your daughter.  However, I would also speak to the teacher and make her aware.  Let her know that this has really been bothering your daughter and you would like the teacher to watch for it.  As far as the parents go, I wouldn't say anything at this point- that could cause more problems.

 This is what I was going to say.  Also, I wouldn't assume fights over toys or marble (or whatever) throwing didn't happen last year.  To me, that sounds pretty normal frustration points at this age and my guess is there were troubles here and there with various students, but at 4 her memory and communication skills make her able to communicate more to you this year--- maybe only told you half a "zillion" things that happened and left out others .  I would certainly talk to the teacher and see what she has noticed (it strikes me as odd that a teacher wouldn't notice at least the marble throwing) and the pinching is unacceptable and the teacher needs to be on the lookout.  GL getting these issues resolved!