Starting to rethink our baby name - WWYD?

supermommy1982

I'm starting to rethink naming DS Samuel Jason. I've always adored the name Samuel (nn Sammy) and I thought it was the cute because my first name is Samantha so it's also a play on my name. It also happens to be my great-grandfather's name and so it's also to honor him and DH picked out Jason for the middle name. But my MIL has been giving me such a hard time over this and keeps saying that it's narcissistic of me and she refuses to call my DS by his first name and it goes on and on. For the most part I've tried to just ignore it since my family and DH are fine with the name. But MIL lives in our neighborhood so it's becoming a daily issue as we get closer to the due date and it's kind of starting to get to me. 

I'd really love some advice on this. What would you guys do? 

P.S. - I know we could switch it to Jason Samuel, which I don't have a problem against, but I don't love it. I just have always LOVED the name Samuel for a boy. Also, our DD is Sophia Skye (the S pattern was a coincidence - we don't plan on doing "matching" names for any future children we have.)

SarahPLiz

You are the parent. you get to name your child. Your MIL already had her chance to name her kids. She doesnt get an opinion this time.

karen_loy

who cares what your MIL thinks, if both you and your DH love the name samuel then name him that

btw, I like Samuel

PrincessFiona9

It's not the fact your MIL hates the name but the fact that your name is Samantha that makes me say change it. I am just not a fan of parent-child same name deals.

But hey, each to their own.

magsugar13

Keep the name you like. This is your child and you get to p-ick the name. Your H needs to have a serious talk with his mom!

mommybrynn

SarahPLiz:

You are the parent. you get to name your child. Your MIL already had her chance to name her kids. She doesnt get an opinion this time.

 

This. 

EastCoastBride

Your DH needs to tell his mom to back the F- off.  This isn't her decision.

myoo

How many other issues have you given in to her on because of her bad behavior? My advice is to squash it now. Name baby whatever you want, ignore the comments and let your husband have a talk with her. If you keep giving in, it will never end.

sunnyday016

I love Samuel. It's one of my absolute favorites. I say go with it, it's not too matchy with your name (or your DD's).

apc1929

Honestly I think your MIL sounds like a horror...  You can remind her the baby will already have her last name!  Samuel is a great boys name and I don't think its so out there that you both have "sam" in your name especially with the connection to your grandfather.  My advice would be to tell your DH to talk to his mother and tell her to stay out of it!  (easier said than done I know but that's what I would do- good luck!)

rubyjem00

It's a great name - and one that both you and your DH have agreed on. He needs to tell his mother that it is none of her business and that she needs to stay out of it.

MamaValley

Oh wow, your MIL is horrible! I think the name is adorable and I love how it honors your great-grandfather. I understand how it can really affect your state of mind when you keep hearing negative feedback, but stick with the name. As for your MIL, I would ask your DH to speak with her and tell her to knock it off. Ugh... I think this bothers me as much as it does because it sounds so much like my ex MIL!

Oh, and have your MIL over and rent that movie Monster in Law. Tell her how you've always found it so funny, and so true to life...   ;-)

westrose

You love it that is all that matters. You should not have to change your name because your MIL does not like it. She will get over it. 

I like Samuel much better than Jason.  

McGibbon51311

AshleyMichelle06:

It's not the fact your MIL hates the name but the fact that your name is Samantha that makes me say change it. I am just not a fan of parent-child same name deals.

But hey, each to their own.

This. 

ChavayJakov

It is not very common when a child is named after the mother.  Maybe that is where she is getting the idea that it is narcissistic.  Wow, though, that she'd even *say* that to your face even if that was the impression she was left with!

Honestly, if you love it and your DH is all supportive, who the frick cares if MIL is not so keen on the name?  Honestly, I wouldn't even go the route of "your DH needs to put her straight" - first, I think it is childish not to put her straight yourself if she needs straightening out...but honestly, just engaging with her on it is giving her the impression that she has some vote in the matter.

Stick with the story of naming it after your grandfather instead of matching it with your name, and maybe her righteousness over the matter will calm down.  If you go ahead and name the child Samuel Jason and she gives him another nn, deal with that then.  Don't borrow tomorrow's trouble.

 

Rethink the name if you otherwise feel there might be something more suitable out there...but I would not anymore seek to change a name based on your circumstance than I would recommend digging your heels in about having to give the name now just to show her whose boss.  Pick a name you want, because you want it and it fits the kiddo. 

Mamaofthesea

Your MIL is WAY out of line. Samuel is a great name. Naming children after family (whether it be the mother, father, grandparents, whatever) is just what many people do. It's not narcissistic. Stick to your guns and choose the name you love. If you don't you may always resent MIL.

AlphabetFish

Wow, your mother in law is being a real... ahem.

There is nothing "narcissistic" about naming a child for yourself. It's a very established and accepted practice. Samuel Jason is a lovely name.

Honestly, your mother in law needs to step off--this isn't her choice, and browbeating you into abandoning a perfectly suitable name that you love is just wrong.

BelleIsa

SarahPLiz:

You are the parent. you get to name your child. Your MIL already had her chance to name her kids. She doesnt get an opinion this time.

This.

clashure09

Love the name Samuel. Just think of all the kids who are named after their fathers, and you hear NOTHING negative about that! I would tell your MIL that it is your decision, whether she likes it or not, she needs to use that name when addressing Samuel. UGH I could not put up with that.

kerribear1717

So I guess all the men out there with a Jr. are just narcissistic huh?  Go with what you want and have DH speak to her about it. 

sweetpealee

I love Samuel and think you should name your child whatever you want, and your MIL needs to stop trying to have input.  I've had some family members tell me what to name my son and be obnoxious about it.  We are no longer discussing names with them. 

 That being said, I would just be concerned about confusion related to having the same nickname...

TripMomma

I love the name, but I wouldn't use it if my name were Samantha.

supermommy1982

Thanks everyone for all the advice and support, I really appreciate it! I really don't get why she is so harsh or against the name but ever since MIL got divorced two years ago she's gotten really nasty and bitter. I don't think I'll ever get why she's lashing out at the smallest of things but I especially don't get the narcissistic comment since I rarely go by my first name. I've always gone by Allie since my middle name is Allison (I'm Samantha Allison E_______) and that's what my dad wanted as my first name. It really is more about the fact that I wanted to honor my great-grandfather, not myself.  

Both DH and I (as well as a few other family members) have told MIL that although we respect her opinions, this is our baby and that this is the name we've chosen but she still is "campaigning" against the name. It got really bad over the summer that DH and his younger siblings actually stopped going over to her house because she refused to listen to him or anyone else and she was starting so much drama over a freaking baby name when it should just be a happy time for everybody. But yesterday we had to see her because we attended DH's younger brother's birthday party and she also was invited. She once again made her snide comments and with the pg hormones I was a mess and seriously started questioning/rethinking our name choice. 

But anyways, everybody here and DH talked me out of my doubts and so we are sticking with Samuel Jason for the baby name. I do feel kind of bad because this has caused issues with DH and his mom but he's pretty pissed off with her at the moment. Hopefully she'll come around by the time little one is born. On the good side, I'm sooooo relieved and glad that there's been no drama regarding the baby name on my side of the family!