Single Parents

Alone & New. Vent..help..stressed.

So, on labor day I had found out I was prego.... two weeks after I left my boyfriend and moved 3 hrs away from him. I had left everything to be with him & it obviously came to bite me in the butt. Found out how much of an *** he was, how much he lied, & was definitely not the guy i thought he was. Family loved me, but he was basically the prob. I finally left him not know i was prego..When i found out i was i tried keeping it from him, but my family had to step in & actually told his family about it. UGH. They denied it was his & that, that was goin to be his prob.. Now, he is saying that IF it is his he'll take care of it...but wait..no only will he take care of it..he has been telling me he will also take my baby away. I don't have any support from my fam except an aunt & my grandmother.... But other than that I'm alone, going to school, working two jobs...no days off & i pretty much have nothing. UGH. ;.(

Re: Alone & New. Vent..help..stressed.

  • First, congrats! You are pregnant! How exciting, no matter what the situtation.

    I get it. I am 6 months along and alone. My STBXH has decided to stop doing all things adult. No one can take your child away from you, he has rights to custody/visitation, but that's it. Have you seen a lawyer yet? I get how busy you are, but this is time well spent. It will give you an idea of your rights, and a plan to start. You need assurance, and a lawyer is the best place to get that.  I don't know where you are located, but check the county websites to get an idea of child support, most states have a caluclator they use.

    You have a lot going for you. You have a job, a support unit, even if it's small, and you have us. You will soon have a child to take care of. And you can do this, you already are. Make sure to take care of yourself, and see a lawyer. Get some peace of mind regarding your situtation. This is scary, but all major life changes are. Deal with one step at a time.

  • Well first CONGRATS! Its a huge life changing thing, but its still amazing.

    I am 3 months along, and alone as well. The baby's father decided to walk away, that he wasnt ready for a kid. Then tried to blame it all on me, the usual stuff. His family was extremely mean to me and my mom. He only cares about himself. And i am going to school, just had to quit my job, and am beyond overwhelmed.

    If you need someone who is pretty much where you are, just shoot me a private message.  And remember, its all gonna be ok :)

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  • I know it seems scary now, but you can do it! I definitely agree that you need to talk to a lawyer asap. Don't let him try to harrass or manipulate you.
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  • He is blowing smoke.  He can't "take your baby from you".  No court in this country is going to take a child away from its mother unless you are found to be completely unfit (and sometimes not even then).  

    Talk to a family law attorney in your area.  You will need to know about your rights.  You may not have to put him on the birth certificate.  If he wants to assert paternity and get visitation, he will have to file in court, have a DNA test done to prove he is the father and then open himself up to child support assessment.  If you get any state aid at all for your child, the state may want to go after him for his contribution. 

    Again, one visit to a family law attorney will tell you your rights and how to proceed. 

  • Congrats on being preggo.

    And he can talk all he wants but he can't take your baby from you. You have to be proven to be an unfit parent for that too happen and even that is a hard process, so don't worry about his empty threats. He's probably pissed you left him and obviously, like you said hes an a$$.

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  • Thank you all so much & I will definitely take this all into consideration! This has been so hard, but knowing I'm not alone/ or the only one goin through this makes me feel comfort in some way. I appreciate y'all & the help. <3
  • I agree with everyone else...you need to seek the advice of a lawyer. My ex told me I wasn't allowed to leave our house with our daughter so I felt like a hostage. I almost had a nervous breakdown and finally went to see a lawyer. They told me I could leave with my dd and there wasn't anything the ex could do.

     Congrats on your little bundle of joy to be and your experience with this new baby will not be made worse by the problems with your ex. 

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