? about SAHD's and Poll

rider5344

My BIL is a SAHD.  I think it's great that someone is able to stay home with my niece but he drives me nuts!  He hardly does anything, doesn't clean or cook and doesn't work.  I KNOW it's none of my business, but there seems to be such a double standard for SAHD's.  I'm a teacher so this summer when I was a SAHM I did ALL the cleaning, ALL the laundry and ALL the cooking.  Was I busy?  Heck yes!  Being a SAH is HARD work.  I feel like SAHD's get this "well he does omre that most men so I should be happy", which I feel like if a SAHM did she would be looked down on.  [Poll]

Quesera

I'm a sahm and I don't do everything, it's impossible for me to remain sane and keep it all together. My H and I still split most chores 50/50 because the dynamic is still such that we're both working. Just bc I'm physically in the home doesn't mean I'm 100% responsible for it.

That said, he travels a lot for work so I do what I can and he picks up the slack when he's here.

BeetleLinz1125

DH was unemployed while I was on mat leave and until after I went back to work so he SAH.  He did better at it then I would have.  He had the house so sparkling and would have all the laundry done and dishes washed...he's seriously just better at "keeping house" than I am. 

rider5344

GhostMonkey:

They have an arragement that works for them. Butt out.

SAHM's don't get everything done either you know.

 

Ib would never say anything, its none of my business. But it doesn't work for them, my sister hates it and is always complaining about it to me.

JJsMom211

I kow some really great SAHDs and some really crappy SAHDs. I think the same goes for SAHMs.

weberm05

JJsMom211:

I kow some really great SAHDs and some really crappy SAHDs. I think the same goes for SAHMs.

 

Very true!!!

OctGirl80

I don't think it's as much a double standard as just their situation. If MH was SAH, I'd like him to do the laundry, dishes, etc. but having said that, I know I definitely don't do everything around the house. DD is high needs. DH knows it but also knows that he doesn't understand the reality of dealing with her all day so while he'd like that the place was impeccable, he knows it's doubtful. Doesn't stop him from complaining sometimes. Maybe their LO is h/n as well and you just aren't aware of it. We don't go around telling everyone DD is. They just know she's a very happy baby. You're probably not getting all the details (and possibly exaggerations).

 

Anyone want my soapbox now that I'm done with it?

vanfox

I don't really think SAHDs or SAHMs should be expected to get everything done. I certainly don't! But I do think there's this pervasive attitude of SAHDs making a BIG SACRIFICE by staying home with their kids instead of working, while SAHMs are just following their ~*~natural instincts~*~ or whatever, when both of those points-of-view are pretty crappy. Dads can genuinely want to stay home with their kids and Moms can be awesome parents while working outside it. There's definitely a double standard.

kcisthebombdotcom

I get hardly any housework done lately unless my DH is home. My baby is in the midst of a clingy stage and wont let me put her down for anything and my toddler is a handful.

If you're home with a difficult child (ren), it's a lot different than being home with one easy baby that sleeps all the time.

6fsn

How old is the kid/s because that will make a huge difference in what can get done.