Single Parents

Anyone here a SP by death?

I did find another website for young widows but I have been with TK/TN/TB for so long that I would like to stick around. I posted a similar thread on The Nest under "Starting Over".  Just wondering if there are others here who might find themselves in a similar situation but I know it's a long shot as not many become widowed in their 20's.  Regardless, I'm sure I will find a few posts on this board to which I can relate as a newly-single parent.  So "hello"... I'm sure I will be around this board every so often.
My best friend, my husband, my everything
Matthew Kevin
7/31/83-7/20/11 image
Met 1/8/00
Engaged 4/21/06
Married 9/29/07
Two beautiful legacies: Noah Matthew (2 yrs) and Chloe Marcella (8 mos)
Day Three

Re: Anyone here a SP by death?

  • We have had a few people stop by who may be lurkers but I don't believe they are regular posters.

    I do remember you from the bump boards and I remember hearing about your husband's passing. I am so very sorry for both you and your children's loss. Please feel free to post over here. This is a good group of ladies!


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  • Yes, I remember seeing that also. I'm sorry for your loss. Of course you are always welcome to post here.
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  • I can't imagine what you're going through.  I'm sure you're learning your own strength during this difficult time.  Although we have many different stories, the commonality is the support that these ladies provide to each other.


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  • Please keep posting here, even though everyone's situation isn't exactly the same.  This board is a great support.  Welcome.
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    Lurker butting in 

    +++although not a parent,  I lost my husband very suddenly after just six months of marriage. The story is far different from yours. You are not alone. I was 34 when he passed. Let me know if you need to talk or whatever+++

    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
  • My deepest sympathies for you & your children...I'm a lurker here, and even though a lot of the posts deal w/ issues regarding BD or XH, there are plenty of ladies that are simply trying to cope w/ the day-to-day of being a SP...myself included (but complicated & happy w/ my lurker status for now!)  Also, I am from GR, and I definitely remember the story of your husbands passing being on the news...if you are in need of a local friend, feel free to PM me! 

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  • I am not a SP, but I would lurk over here because my SIL was a SP. Since she got married I have still lurked over here, because I find all of these women to be very strong individuals.

    I read your blog today, I could never imagine going through what you have, but if I ever did I think I would be just like you. I would want to know every detail and I think you are right that writing helps.

    I also wanted to let you know about something that I have heard about people who have passed away. A girl that I went to high school with lost her fiance a year ago. Her and his family are always talking about finding dimes. Apparently if you find a dime after a loved one has passed away it is their way of telling you that they are in Heaven and watching over you. When they went to his crash site they found dimes laying right where the truck would have been. I found this very interesting when I found this out. You don't normally find dimes, it is usually pennies.

    After I heard about the dime thing I was at the grocery store. I had gotten out of my vehicle and out of habit I always look at the ground before stepping out of my vehicle. There was nothing there. When I came out of the grocery store and walked up to my vehicle there was a dime laying right outside of the drivers door.  I had just lost my grandma a few months before finding that dime. As I picked up that dime I knew that was my grandma telling me she was up there and she was watching over me and her granddaughter(that she never got to meet). 

    I hope that you continue to heal and that you find your dime!

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  • I'm a lurker...but I felt the need to respond.  I was raised by a single mother for most of my life.  My father died when I was 10 so I was a little older than your children.  There weren't many kids growing up that had similar situations as I did, so my life was always different.  My mother dated, but never remarried, which didn't bother me because I knew nobody would replace my father. 

    If there's some advice I can give you, is to keep your husband's memory alive for your children (which you're doing a great job of with the blog.) I think that's one thing I wish my mom would have done differently.  Obviously she suffered and mourned the death of my father alone, so it might have been a tactic to help her heal, but she didn't have pictures around the house of me and my dd or wouldn't tell me stories about what it was like when I was younger.  I can honestly say I don't remember what my life was like when my father was alive and some days I forget what he looks like too.

     It takes a really self-less person (an awesome single mother) to cover both the father and mother role.  I was so lucky that my mother always put me first, I know there's alot of selfish parents out there that still can only think of themselves even when they have children.  Your children are going to solely rely on you for everything which is just natural since you are their mother and their sole guardian in life, but in the end you'll be their role model and saint for life.  They will always appreciate you more because you nurtured them. 

    Being that it's been almost 15 years since my father died, I can look back now and honestly say I wouldn't change anything about growing up with a single mother.  My mom has given me the strength and courage to know that you can do anything and I'm so grateful for that.

    I wish you the best on your's not going to be easy for you or your children, but I know you have the strength to do it on your own.  And don't be afraid to ask for help even the best single parents still need people's assistance on making sure they get through life with normal sanity.  And remember that God doesn't give you what you can't handle...and remember to tell your kids that too.  They will have moments where they think nothing can get worse and that life is only throwing them curve balls, but they will get through anything.

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