Single Parents

Almost due and father still isn't in picture..getting scared.

I'm due next month...and the father didn't talk to me the first 3 months...then we got along and were doing good, then he got back with his ex bc they just had a baby together....horrible relationship. He says he wants to get back together after the baby is here but I'm not thinking so...I'm so scared of being a single mom and doing it alone..idc if we aren't together, I want him to see his son though. I still have feelings for him but I think it's best to wait for someone better..he obviously doesn't care if he hasn't talked to me for the past 3 months again...he doesn't have a job or phone now...loser! He went downhill after our breakup...ugh. I don't think I'll put his name on the birth certificate...and if he doesn't help out I'll take him to court ig....okay I'm done lol just had to vent!

Re: Almost due and father still isn't in picture..getting scared.

  • as someone who got pregnant by a D-bag 9 years ago I will share what I learned the hard way

    a d-bag will always be a d-bag

    your child is better off with one really good parent than having 2 parents who are on again off again and the one stresses out the other 24/7

    child support is not punishment for not helping out...regardless if he is involved or not...file for child support...it is for the baby

    do not give your LO his last name....you will regret it every time the doctor or school calls and asks for mrs ______

    remember...nothing you do (or dont do) can make him want to be a father...either he does or does not want to be an involved father

    put your child first always and forget the romantic fantasy that maybe the relationship will work out....

  • I have a friend who has three children by the same man. They've been on-again-off-again for nearly 9 years now. One day they're happily engaged and the next he's back with his X or another random girl. This has been going on for NINE YEARS. The girl can't understand that just because he's the father of her children, that doesn't mean they need to be together. Please don't be that girl.
     
    Like pp said, once a DB, always a DB. And your X has made this clear by going back to his X and not wanting any involvement in your LO's life. Move on as a single/only parent and cut ties with this guy. File for CS and let him do the rest if he wants to have custody/visitation of your LO. He'll have to go through the courts, and my guess is that he's too lazy/doesn't care enough to actually do it.

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  • imagePrettyInPearls23:
    I have a friend who has three children by the same man. They've been on-again-off-again for nearly 9 years now. One day they're happily engaged and the next he's back with his X or another random girl. This has been going on for NINE YEARS. The girl can't understand that just because he's the father of her children, that doesn't mean they need to be together. Please don't be that girl.
     
    Like pp said, once a DB, always a DB. And your X has made this clear by going back to his X and not wanting any involvement in your LO's life. Move on as a single/only parent and cut ties with this guy. File for CS and let him do the rest if he wants to have custody/visitation of your LO. He'll have to go through the courts, and my guess is that he's too lazy/doesn't care enough to actually do it.

    Ditto.  Don't be THAT girl. 

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  • Thank you so much!!! I feel much better...and stronger. I know I can do it, it will just be harder. and It's so hard letting go of the "what could've been" etc but I will be better off without him. You all are right!!! Thank you :)
  • Two things: 1) Parenting alone is easier than parenting with a loser who can't be depended upon. 2) I sort of understand about the difficulty of letting go to the idea, but this one shouldn't be too hard. He is a manwhore with no brain, phone, job, or decency. You can do better on your own.
  • I was just lurking but one of your statements annoyed me "I don't think I will put his name on the b/cert."

    What right to you have to "play god" with your unborn childs life? Every child has the right to know who their parents are - even if he is a d-bag or a loser or whatever. If you don't name the father here in NZ you cannot claim Child Support payments either.

    DX - Endometriosis 2007, PCOS 2010 TTC since July 13, 2010 50mg unmonitored clomid oct 2010 = BFN 50mg unmonitored clomid dec 2010 = BFN Lap to remove endo and HSG march 2011 = tubes clear and very little had returned. 50mg MONITORED Clomid Sept 2011 (10 tablets) + trigger shot = 3 mature follies but BFN 50mg Monitored Clomid Oct 2011 (5 tablets this time) = BFN turned BFP 9th november 2011! BabyFruit Ticker
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