looking for advice for my BIL who is about to seperate

NYBoston05

My BIL is about to seperate from his wife.  They have 2 young boys.  He's the active care taker of these kids- and always has been.  I'm trying to be supportive and have said I think you should go talk to a lawyer.  How does it work if he wants to get primary custody and stay in the family house?  She's telling him to leave.  She works at night at a bar so on a normal day she's gone from 4pm-2am.  Then add in the late night drinks afterwork and she's not coming home at all some nights.  I know most people on this board are hard working single Moms but I was hoping maybe some advice for a Dad would be available....

katie_cj

I'm not an expert, but off the top of my head..this is what I would do in his shoes.

1. He needs to speak with a lawyer, yesterday.

2. Document everything, all the care he does, etc. Basically, prove that he's already the primary care giver.

3.  He should stay in the house if he wants to keep it.

4. LAWYER.

kmartinez80

He should absolutely not leave the house if he ultimately wants to have a chance of staying in the home (I'm not sure if this is for all states, but it's better to err on the side of caution).  His next step should be to talk to a lawyer to find out his rights and state laws.  Many lawyers will provide a free consultation.  Also, if finances may be an issue, he should make copies of all bank statements, tax returns, etc. that may be applicable when it comes to the divorce and CS.  He should also document everything in a notebook, dated, in his own handwriting (nights his wife doesn't come home, normal schedule for the kids, etc. - basically anything that would be applicable in court).  And I'll say this one again because it is so important, he needs to go talk to an attorney ASAP so that he can figure out his next steps (temporary custody orders, temporary orders regarding assets, etc.).  Good luck!