WWYD? Opinions Needed Please :)

vtwildlifer04

Good morning ladies! So, my best friend's brother is getting married this weekend a few hours away and my DH is the photographer. He is doing this at cost and I'm invited as well. So, we were planning (based on what the family said before) on making an overnight trip of it and taking baby (he's 3 months old). We were considering bringing MIL to stay with him in the hotel room once he goes to bed so I could stay and visit at the wedding. However, I figured I should confirm with the actual bride that a nursing infant is, in fact, invited to attend (and not just go on the invite from soon-to-be MIL and SIL). So, I had my best friend inquire and the answer came back "no children." No problem, I'm not upset, its their day and that's fine. However, I nurse so this makes this more complicated. It just stinks now because we're doing this wedding for a bit cheaper than we should've (will actually cost us a bit more than he decided to charge - our fault), we can't really afford a $180/night hotel room (sounded more reasonable before baby came!), not really into pumping and dumping nor staying up late like I thought I would be pre-baby, and now that I'll have to either stay in the hotel room with him or leave him at the ILs two hours away, I'm really not feeling as excited about hanging with my best friend like I was. She's in the wedding so there won't be a ton of hangout time for her most likely. Should I (would you):

1) Go to the wedding, leave DS at ILs, and drive back the 2 hours that night (getting back around 11). Downsides - ILs have never been alone with him, haven't been around a baby in a LONG time, and are totally against swaddling which he needs to go to bed :0) I do trust that they would be okay though, I'm just not sure he'll be in bed when I arrive home. Also, we went to a local wedding this past weekend and he was with my parents and wouldn't take the bottle for a while (almost left the wedding to come home and feed him)!

2) Hang out at the ILs while DH goes to the wedding to photograph. That would give ILs visit time, DH someone to ride with part of the way, etc. Downsides - I don't love the idea of DH driving back alone after a long day of work (I'm a nervous person like that) and I won't get to see my best friend and I'm sure that'll go over awkwardly with the whole family as to why I didn't come. I don't want any drama. 

 3)  Take DS and stay in my best friend's hotel room with him. At least I'll get to visit with her a bit and drive there/back with DH.

4) Take DS and MIL, have them stay in best friend's hotel room, and go to the wedding. Then we all drive back after the wedding. 

 5) Put out the money for the hotel room ($180), go to the wedding, take DS and the ILs. Downside - we have an out-of-town wedding next weekend and ILs are going with us and we had to get a hotel room. But its a huge college reunion, DH is not photographing it, and everyone is invited to the wedding.

 Just need some outside perspective - I'm done over-thinking it! Thanks for making it through this

 

DramaMama06

vtwildlifer04:

4) Take DS and MIL, have them stay in best friend's hotel room, and go to the wedding. Then we all drive back after the wedding. 

 5) Put out the money for the hotel room ($180), go to the wedding, take DS and the ILs. Downside - we have an out-of-town wedding next weekend and ILs are going with us and we had to get a hotel room. But its a huge college reunion, DH is not photographing it, and everyone is invited to the wedding.

i would say go! esp if your friend is willing to let you use her room to have LO relax in with MIL!

are there rooms at a cheaper hotel in the area?

imoverit

4 sounds best overall so that you can have your cake and eat it too. That is nice of your bf to let you use her room during the wedding.

JavaVino910

Hmm... I would probably go with option 3 or 4

cvl105

Is the wedding at the hotel? If so, I would definitely go and just go up to nurse when you need to or pump.Your best friend will be free once pictures are over so you'll totally get to hang with her at the reception. She's not going to be too busy to hang with you.

I personally feel like pumping and dumping and getting upset over it is overrated. So what if you have to dump a few oz down the drain?! You also need to live your life and have fun a little bit. Now having to do it all the time I can see being upset over, but once or twice is no big deal, imo.

DowagerCountessofNJ

Honestly if it's causing you so much anxiety I'd probably stay home and make plans to see the friend another time when it can just be the two of you without other obligations in the mix.

brobin01

I would go with #3 or #4. I understand your not wanting to pump in dump, if your supply sucks like mine.I can't pump and dump because I don't have the extra milk to waste, which is why my DD HAD to go to a wedding with me this summer, or I just wouldn't have been able to go.

 But if you have an oversupply, then don't worry so much about it.

kimbo1216

First, I would find out if the "no children" rule also applies to infants.  Often it does not.  I don't think there is anything wrong with asking the couple yourself.  If they don't mind your nursing infant, then you can just bring LO with you.

If the couple does not want your infant there, then I would look into leaving your baby overnight with someone you trust (i.e. your MIL?)--and not driving back that night.  It might be nice for you and your husband to get out.   It may be your LO's first time alone with the ILs, but they raised children and if you trusty them, it should be fine.  Besides there is a first for everything.

bunnymama625

option 4 would be best if your friend is ok with it-- if not, option 3!