Anyone with a high needs #1?

OctGirl80

Our original plan when we decided TTC was to TTC LO#2 about 6-9 months after having LO#1. Well, emergency c/s and high needs baby later, we've decided to revisit the idea of #2 when DD is a year old and decide then if we'll TTC or wait longer.

 

We really wanted them close in age, but some days I feel like I can barely handle her so what would I do on the off chance that #2 was high needs as well? If your LO #1 was high needs, how did you decide to have #2 so that you had 2u2?

roundtheworldgirl

If by "high needs" you mean a kid who demands constant attention, then yes, my DD1 is high needs.  We did not decide to have #2 - it just happened.  She was born when DD1 was 12.5 months old.  It has been difficult.  Maybe more difficult than if DD1 were an easier baby, but I have no reference point for that.  DD1 just turned 2 and DD2's first birthday is in two weeks.  DD1 still demands constant attention.  I don't think that will ever change.  You do what you have to, though.

moonfaerie

If you referring to just requiring lots of attention, my oldest was and still is that way. Still, she adjusted amazingly well to sharing her parents with her little sister. She didn't like sharing her grandmoms at first, but sharing DH and I was no big deal. I was pretty worried about it for a while, but by the time #2 was born, DD1 was 14 months old and had grown more than I imagined she would. She still required lots of attention, but since the newborn slept a lot at first, she was able to get attention when #2 slept and was happy to play independently when #2 needed me.

I wouldn't abse your family planning on your older child's current needs, because they change so quickly when they are this young. If you and your DH truly feel that you cannot hnadle 2u2 at this point, then by all means, wait. But if you still feel that you want your kids close together and are only worried about your oldest will handle it, then you should go for it when you and your H feel ready. Your kids will adapt.

And from my personal experience, it was way easier to deal with the troubles of 1st tri when #1 was 6 months old and couldn't move around much even though she required lots of attention, than it is now with a 2-year-old who runs all over the place! Being pg with a non-walker is easy-peasy compared to "alligator-wrestling" a willful two-year-old to stay put when they don't want to, or stay out of things they know they're not supposed to be in.

LDQAM516

I totally agree with PP in that they change so quickly when they are young! Our DD went through the longest phase of being insanely needy and clingy...its literally like she woke up one day and decided to be mire relaxed...literally, it was like a light switch. So when we first found out we were pregnant with #3 I was really freaking out...but now, I can't wait and I know things will all work out!