I think I need a mental hug today. My STBXH and I split up in May, and I received the divorce paperwork in the mail yesterday. He wants this done as soon as humanly possible, and most days I am all good with it. I got everything I wanted in the agreement, 100% physical custody, the holiday schedule, EOW for him, etc. Heck, I wrote it all and he agreed to it (as he wouldn't do it and hung it over my head). Now it just needs to be signed and sent to the judge.
My issue is that it's going so fast. We were together for 10 years. I am 6 months pregnant with the child we tried so hard for. I mentally know I am married to a drug addicted child who isn't the person I met, married or developed a life with. But it's so hard emotionally. Some days are great. I don't even think about him. But then other days are so freaking hard. It's like I want him to snap out of it. But I know that's not going to happen. I guess, if I could just get my heart to listen to my brain, I would be all good. And I know it takes time. But I get so angry about him leaving me while I am pregnant, ruining all those dreams we had built and laughed about when I finally got pregnant.... argh.
I am just venting/whining. I know there are a lot of us who are pregnant and alone right now, and maybe one of you has some secret phrase that makes all this pain go away? A girl can hope.