UO Thursday

McAllie5

I'll start it.

 

I guess mine isn't that unpopular around here, but I think Ferber sounds like a good method. I was up in the air until I actually read the book. It makes a lot of sense. I think a lot of people just assume they know what it means without reading about it, and they do it anyways. When you say you shut the door and didn't go back to even check on him all night with him crying himself to sleep, you may have used another method but you didn't use Ferber. 

kewltif

McAllie5:

I'll start it.

 

I guess mine isn't that unpopular around here, but I think Ferber sounds like a good method. I was up in the air until I actually read the book. It makes a lot of sense. I think a lot of people just assume they know what it means without reading about it, and they do it anyways. When you say you shut the door and didn't go back to even check on him all night with him crying himself to sleep, you may have used another method but you didn't use Ferber. 

I agree. It's actually not as cruel as I thought it was. You are checking on your child and soothing them.  I was never against CIO, but I knew I needed to do my research and really understand it before embarking on it.

kewltif

I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but maybe more of a vent.

I don't like when people state such strong opinions on here about things that they have never had to deal with. I think it's easy to be against sleep training when you have a child who is a good sleeper. We all deal with different issues.

I also believe that people have different resources available to them. Some people have husbands who work very flexible hours, or a mother who lives down the block and watches the baby for a few hours in the morning. While other women are back at work at 6 weeks or have a husband on deployment, etc.  If you have a lot of help maybe it works for you to feed your child every hour all day. It's not really a big deal. I just think it's unfair to snap a judgment on someone else who might have to leave for work at 6 am and is becoming physically run down and beat from being up all night feeding.

CanuckFan03

kewltif:

I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but maybe more of a vent.

I don't like when people state such strong opinions on here about things that they have never had to deal with. I think it's easy to be against sleep training when you have a child who is a good sleeper. We all deal with different issues.

I also believe that people have different resources available to them. Some people have husbands who work very flexible hours, or a mother who lives down the block and watches the baby for a few hours in the morning. While other women are back at work at 6 weeks or have a husband on deployment, etc.  If you have a lot of help maybe it works for you to feed your child every hour all day. It's not really a big deal. I just think it's unfair to snap a judgment on someone else who might have to leave for work at 6 am and is becoming physically run down and beat from being up all night feeding.

Couldn't agree with this one more.  Nothing more helpful in a 'why won't my baby sleep post?" than "Well I would never let my baby cry for a second!  I just lay her down and she drifts off to sleep for four hours!" I want to punch those people.  I guess the fact that I want to punch people can be my UO.   

ETA: This is a general statement and not just sleep training.  I feel this way about people who are on high horses about anything that they haven't really struggled with themselves.  

tlxh7

I have three (so far)

- I cannot stand Oprah.

- It annoys me when people make multiple posts in the same thread saying, "Oh, one more thing...."  You can edit your posts to add that one more thing, it's not hard.

- It also annoys me when people say, "I could care less."  Really?  Good for you.  I couldN'T care less.

heikem87

I am still tired of dealing with the Army. Still no response on his orders and it?s been three months already. I admit I am not very patient but it just ticks me off to see how much LO is developing and her daddy?s missing out on it. 

Oh and I got in a fight with one of my friends the other day because she?s pregnant now and they?re supposed to move three weeks after the baby is born. I mean ok I wouldn?t want to fly right away but she wants to stay in Germany up to a year because she gets money from the German government and because she doesn?t want to leave her mother here. The best thing: Her husband doesn?t even know about her plans. I just don?t understand her. I have a good connection with my family as well but now I have my own family and I would do anything to be with DH.

tokenhoser

I think it's silly how much posters are idolizing the "sleep gurus" on this board. Read a book for yourself, people. If you can't handle it, watch a DVD. Yes, it's good to get some support, but you really need to make your own parenting decisions, not just beg some random lady on the internet to tell you how to make your baby sleep. Having all of two children doesn't make anyone a genius.

Raquellyo

I think going out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed (i.e. in your pajama pants) is tacky.

Lisa Frank

tokenhoser:

I think it's silly how much posters are idolizing the "sleep gurus" on this board. Read a book for yourself, people. If you can't handle it, watch a DVD. Yes, it's good to get some support, but you really need to make your own parenting decisions, not just beg some random lady on the internet to tell you how to make your baby sleep. Having all of two children doesn't make anyone a genius.

I'll actually agree here. I'm happy to help out, but I didn't learn all of my info from the internet. I read about 40 books on the topic and use bits and pieces. I'm no expert, but again, I'm happy to help.

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Lisa Frank

Raquellyo:

I think going out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed (i.e. in your pajama pants) is tacky.

I have a friend that will roll out of bed, put gym clothes on and go grocery shopping. Cracks me up! She figures if she looks like she went to the gym, people won't mind that she looks like crap. haha.

mellydawn84

Lisa Frank:

I have a friend that will roll out of bed, put gym clothes on and go grocery shopping. Cracks me up! She figures if she looks like she went to the gym, people won't mind that she looks like crap. haha.

I might just have to add a sweatband then to my everyday ensemble of gym pants and tank tops now....

everam01

Lisa Frank:

Raquellyo:

I think going out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed (i.e. in your pajama pants) is tacky.

I have a friend that will roll out of bed, put gym clothes on and go grocery shopping. Cracks me up! She figures if she looks like she went to the gym, people won't mind that she looks like crap. haha.

I thought I was the only brilliant person who did this  

As a bonus, wearing workout gear makes me powerwalk around the grocery store and I finish quickly. 

everam01

My UO is that I don't mind the boys waking up at night. I prefer only once or twice, of course, but I don't get to see them as much now that they're in daycare so I like the snuggle time in the middle of the night. My husband took over duty and had me sleep in the spare room so I could get a break and I ended up tossing and turning even though I was exhausted.

Raquellyo

everam01:

Lisa Frank:

Raquellyo:

I think going out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed (i.e. in your pajama pants) is tacky.

I have a friend that will roll out of bed, put gym clothes on and go grocery shopping. Cracks me up! She figures if she looks like she went to the gym, people won't mind that she looks like crap. haha.

I thought I was the only brilliant person who did this  

As a bonus, wearing workout gear makes me powerwalk around the grocery store and I finish quickly. 

LOL, 

tokenhoser

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

muddin_lil_sis

I have a feeling my opinion is going to be very unpopular. I believe an infant can be spoiled and can/will manipulate you; and understands what you are saying. Case in point-I can feed, change, snuggle, nap, and play with DS for an hour straight. I'll put him down to get something done and he yells at me. Yells, not scream or cry, but yell. I'll pick him up and he looks me straight in the eyes and laughs at me; I put him back down, he yells, I pick him up, he laughs. It's partiularly worse after he has spent a weekend with my parents. They hold him 24/7 and at home, I don't. After he gets back from spending a weekend with them, he is spoiled. He thinks he needs to be held 24/7.  I told him yesterday he had 2 choices when he started yelling at me: sit there and yell, or sit there and play happily. He looked at me, smiled, and started playing. Today, he was fighting his nap, I told him he could stop fighting me and we'd rock/snuggle together or he could keep fighting me and  I'll put him in the swing and he can go to sleep on his own. He kept fighting me so I put him in his swing; 10 mins later  I asked him was he ready to be rocked and snuggle to take his nap. He grinned, I picked him up, we rocked, and he took a nap. Again, I'm sure my opinion is very unpopular, but it's what I believe.

nycdueinmay

tokenhoser:

I think it's silly how much posters are idolizing the "sleep gurus" on this board. Read a book for yourself, people. If you can't handle it, watch a DVD. Yes, it's good to get some support, but you really need to make your own parenting decisions, not just beg some random lady on the internet to tell you how to make your baby sleep. Having all of two children doesn't make anyone a genius.

wait, you're NOT an expert on all things CD, token?!

just playing devil's advocate

sangarepa

My UO is the people on most of these boards use anonymity to be rude and (here's a word for everyone to post about...) unladylike. 

iris427

sangarepa:

My UO is the people on most of these boards use anonymity to be rude and (here's a word for everyone to post about...) unladylike. 

Welcome to the internet. 

Temp38995750004016

tokenhoser:

I think it's silly how much posters are idolizing the "sleep gurus" on this board. Read a book for yourself, people. If you can't handle it, watch a DVD. Yes, it's good to get some support, but you really need to make your own parenting decisions, not just beg some random lady on the internet to tell you how to make your baby sleep. Having all of two children doesn't make anyone a genius.

You had a problem with the "babywise expert" on 0-3 too, I can't remember her name.

Lisa Frank

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

Really, now you're just being schitty. I have never once claimed I was a "genius" or an "expert." Not once.   Am I well-researched on the topic? Yes, I am. Just like I am on natural childbirth, CD's, breastfeeding and all of the other stuff I've read the heck out of since I found out I was pregnant. People have picked that up, but nowhere have I ever called myself either of the terms you are tossing around.

Quite seriously, you sound bitter.

Temp38995750004016

Raquellyo:

I think going out in public looking like you just rolled out of bed (i.e. in your pajama pants) is tacky.

UO of my life!

JUSTBEYOURSELF

my UO is people who ask for opinions or suggestions and either the one asking dismays it or fights you on it.

I also hate when people keep telling me I will change my mind when I make a statement such as " I would love to breast feed for a bit longer than a year if I can" and people will say "oh you will change your mind" well yes maybe I will but why not just say "that is great, good for you"

I also hate people in real life who are miserable and make it their job to make everyone around them feel the same.   

nycdueinmay

I think the power of a good animated gif is underutilized on this board.

melandjudd

I hate when people try to make you look stupid for the sake of making themselves feel smarter.  I know people like to do it here which I don't care about but IRL it annoys the sh!t out of me.  Case and point my boss who is BSC gave us a "test" at work yesterday then tried to tell me I was wrong with some of the answers.  I know my job very well the answers weren't wrong and after I called her on it she got all pissy and was a PITA today.  Sorry that turned into a vent.

melandjudd

tokenhoser:

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

I think sometimes you can tell when you have a off day because you tend to call people out that annoy you and other days you will let the same things slide.  FWIW I hope ya'll both feel better cause sick baby and sick mommy = no fun.

iris427

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

GMAB, Token.  How are the posts you are talking about any different from the kind of stuff you post?  Oh right, they aren't.  This is like saying you shouldn't be offering your advice on the NB board because you only have experience with your one birth.   

And if you are seriously saying that no one can offer any wisdom about parenting unless they've had 19 kids, you're being ridiculous.

JillaBreeze

* I can't stand it when a baby's pacifier falls on the floor and the mother puts it in her mouth to *wash* it and then sticks it in the baby's mouth. 

*I am weary of being pressured to join Facebook.

*Also weary of people asking me if LO was planned or did we think we were done?  I just smile and say, "We're so glad we have him!"

*Those little bumper sticker thingies with the whole family in stick figures make me cringe and I don't know why!

 

Lisa Frank

iris427:

GMAB, Token.  How are the posts you are talking about any different from the kind of stuff you post?  Oh right, they aren't.  This is like saying you shouldn't be offering your advice on the NB board because you only have experience with your one birth.   

And if you are seriously saying that no one can offer any wisdom about parenting unless they've had 19 kids, you're being ridiculous.

Srsly.

pinkflipflops44

I don't like it when other women call other women mama.

I don't like it when someone's spouse is gone out of town on business or on a trip and people claim to be single parents.  Especially when they make a status update on facebook like SINGLE PARENT FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!!!! Yeah.. annoying and completely not single parenting.

andigurl

I find it comical when someone that presents themselves as an authority on all things pregnancy/natural childbirth/breastfeeding/cloth diapering/non-sleep training/ child rearing/capitalist marketing strategy related gets upset when when someone else gets looked to for advice.  

darmca

kewltif:

I'm not sure if this is an unpopular opinion or not, but maybe more of a vent.

I don't like when people state such strong opinions on here about things that they have never had to deal with. I think it's easy to be against sleep training when you have a child who is a good sleeper. We all deal with different issues.

I also believe that people have different resources available to them. Some people have husbands who work very flexible hours, or a mother who lives down the block and watches the baby for a few hours in the morning. While other women are back at work at 6 weeks or have a husband on deployment, etc.  If you have a lot of help maybe it works for you to feed your child every hour all day. It's not really a big deal. I just think it's unfair to snap a judgment on someone else who might have to leave for work at 6 am and is becoming physically run down and beat from being up all night feeding.

I agree I saw another poster say she would "NEVER give her baby formula" (he was about 3 months old). Well, I started having supply issues and he ate my entire freezer stash in 2 days. He would keep crying that he was still  hungry, so I'd give him formula. Sure BFing is working perfectly for her now, but 1.5 months ago, I thought it was working great for me too. I'm not going to make my baby cry himself to sleep hungry and have no weight gain just so I can say "I've NEVER given my baby formula".

Temp38995750004016

Who said that? She sounds like an idiot. I would never give my baby formula just becaue I'm being lazy and/or don't want to breastfeed, but she has had formula when I was sick and my supply went down. I'd give it to her again in a heartbeat if she was hungry and I couldn't provide for her. It's not like she's gonna die from it.

darmca

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

My UO (and this may come off as mean but I really  don't mean it that way) is that I quite like token. She seems like the kind of person I could be friends with IRL, I'm staying out of the fight on the definition of 'expert' and if they even consider themselves 'sleep experts' but just overall I think token sounds well-researched, well-spoken and doesn't bs.

Temp38995750004016

darmca:

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

My UO (and this may come off as mean but I really  don't mean it that way) is that I quite like token. She seems like the kind of person I could be friends with IRL, I'm staying out of the fight on the definition of 'expert' and if they even consider themselves 'sleep experts' but just overall I think token sounds well-researched, well-spoken and doesn't bs.

Even though some of our ideas are different, a lot of them are similar. I think she's very intelligent and researches her ideas and issues well, and can speak (post) about them intelligently.

But I couldn't be IRL friends w/ token b/c she's always so darn negative. Or maybe she's just a lot less cheerful than what I am used to. Even her posts that are not intended to be negative aren't actually positive, she just kind of comes off as unfriendly.  Oh well, I still enjoy the info she gives us. 

 

darmca

pook:

darmca:

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

My UO (and this may come off as mean but I really  don't mean it that way) is that I quite like token. She seems like the kind of person I could be friends with IRL, I'm staying out of the fight on the definition of 'expert' and if they even consider themselves 'sleep experts' but just overall I think token sounds well-researched, well-spoken and doesn't bs.

Even though some of our ideas are different, a lot of them are similar. I think she's very intelligent and researches her ideas and issues well, and can speak (post) about them intelligently.

But I couldn't be IRL friends w/ token b/c she's always so darn negative. Or maybe she's just a lot less cheerful than what I am used to. Even her posts that are not intended to be negative aren't actually positive, she just kind of comes off as unfriendly.  Oh well, I still enjoy the info she gives us. 

 

Maybe it's a cultural thing. I'm Canadian too and I don't really find her negative, but that may be due to our higher rates of Season Affective Disorder (SAD) because there's no sun up here  Or maybe years of working in crap jobs has made me so negative and cynical I don't even notice it in others

darmca

Pook Here it is: I had to find it because I thought I had imagined it.

"How long do you plan on BFing"

"At least a year. Preferably two. And no formula ever"

I'm feeling a little inadequate lately so it was a bit of a sore spot for me.

pandi02a

andigurl:

I find it comical when someone that presents themselves as an authority on all things pregnancy/natural childbirth/breastfeeding/cloth diapering/non-sleep training/ child rearing/capitalist marketing strategy related gets upset when when someone else gets looked to for advice.  

I also don't listen to natural childbirth advice from people who had anything close to 10 hour labors.  Be in labor for 3 days and then I might be impressed.

iris427

darmca:

tokenhoser:

Lisa Frank:

The last part, though? I don't think anyone is saying I'm a "genius" as you seem to be implying, but I do have some idea WTF I'm talking about. Having a 3 year old means I have perspective that someone with one child doesn't have. Plain and simple.

And my UO:  I love you most of the time, but damn, I sense you don't smile a whole lot IRL.    You seem grumpy.  Not that you give a schit, but...just sayin'.

Call me when you've got 19 and I'll buy your perspective and give you a TV show. You know YOUR kids better than any mom on the planet, but 2 kids does not an expert make.

I do smile IRL... but honestly, today I'm just tired. My husband worked from 8 am to midnight last night and being an effectively single mom, fighting a cold, parenting a baby that sort of seems to be coming down with said cold... yeah, I'm not smiling much today.

My UO (and this may come off as mean but I really  don't mean it that way) is that I quite like token. She seems like the kind of person I could be friends with IRL, I'm staying out of the fight on the definition of 'expert' and if they even consider themselves 'sleep experts' but just overall I think token sounds well-researched, well-spoken and doesn't bs.

No one is arguing otherwise. 

But Lisa Frank has taken a lot of time and energy to help people with their sleep questions and share what she has learned through her experiences. I appreciate it a lot because she knows a lot more than I do on this topic.  She doesn't deserve this bullsh!t in response.  She never presented herself as an expert, anymore than Token herself or anyone else does when they answer posts.   

iris427

pandi02a:

andigurl:

I find it comical when someone that presents themselves as an authority on all things pregnancy/natural childbirth/breastfeeding/cloth diapering/non-sleep training/ child rearing/capitalist marketing strategy related gets upset when when someone else gets looked to for advice.  

I also don't listen to natural childbirth advice from people who had anything close to 10 hour labors.  Be in labor for 3 days and then I might be impressed.

LOL

After my clusterfvck first birth, I used to get so annoyed/jealous when I would hear about people going med-free and only had 7 hour labors.  I was like please, I went 7 hours med-free too!  And then I found out I was only 4 cm...

Lisa Frank

iris427:

darmca:

My UO (and this may come off as mean but I really  don't mean it that way) is that I quite like token. She seems like the kind of person I could be friends with IRL, I'm staying out of the fight on the definition of 'expert' and if they even consider themselves 'sleep experts' but just overall I think token sounds well-researched, well-spoken and doesn't bs.

No one is arguing otherwise. 

Precisely. I quite like Token, and always have. She's had issues with me since the beginning so I tend to think this is more of a personal issue than anything. I'm not really sure. :Shrug:  

I'm here to help, and I feel like those I have helped via PM/on the board are being wise about how they go about this. I've never advocated sleep training without some sort of plan, and I am not telling people to let their baby CIO until they pass out. My advice (IMO) is good advice (it's coming straight from Weissbluth, Hogg, Ferber, etc). Take it or leave it.  Babies are physiologically capable of sleeping 10-12 hour stretches at 4-5 months or doubled birth weight. It's a proven fact.  If I can help your baby get there with the knowledge I have, I'm happy to help. 

Token just needs to unwad and move on if she doesn't like the sleep training posts.