How to be nice in these situations

ArcticFox

My DD can be very demanding sometimes, for attention (she's 4.5).

For example, this morning while I'm trying to eat breakfast and tend to an issue (reading about how to repair something), she brings over flashcards and she's like "LOOK MOM - PIZZA!!" and doesn't stop jumping up and down and saying LOOK until I choke through my cereal "I see, pizza!" - times like 100 flashcards.

The other day we were shopping, and this happens a lot - she just keeps talking and talking when I'm trying to make a purchasing decision or find a product.  It will be nonsense noises or words.  Yesterday she kept asking me if I was a leaf - repeatedly and more insistent - as I'm in the store on an emergency mission to find something quickly.  I was like "Yes I'm a leaf" but then she started asking other ridiculous questions as fast as possible.

I don't like having to ask her to be quiet (of course then she asks why and starts asking other questions), but sometimes I need a couple minutes where she has to stop, especially since I have two kids.  She does this all the time, and obviously she wants attention, but it doesn't matter what I'm doing.  It can be while I'm sitting there paying attention to her, or it could be when her little sister falls down and is bawling.

Just wondering if anyone can relate (because I am about to lose my mind) or if you have any suggestions. 

KathrynMD

Can you try finding something else for her to do?  And, work on this when you are not busy w/ something - so she knows how to occupy herself.  Also - I just try saying I'm doing X right now, so you need to be patient for ____ minutes and then we can do ____.  This helps buy a minute or two. 

Mrs Manners

Ds does this too. Most of the time I'm very tolerant but sometimes I just need like 5 minutes of silence to navigate a route or read a label to make sure there's no soy or something else. I haven't figured out a great diversion when he's on a mission like that. In the car I can turn on his favorite CD and it buys me a few minutes but otherwise I just try to find something to grab to occupy him or send him on an errand ("Hey Sean, could you be a big helper and let the dogs out to go potty?").

lalavvv

Sounds very familiar.  My 3 year old DS does the same.  Ditto to PP, and the key is distraction, distraction, distraction.  Remember mommy can play this game too.  Rather than asking toddler to stop (this might reinforce them as a challenge to keep going)  say "ok sure i'm a leaf."  and then "hey, hey hey (insert name)  did you know....?  and then give them a random fact.  Or "hey look at this - oh my gosh it's a bird!  it's a plane!" - point something out in the immediate environment and get them focused on that instead.  Maybe this will buy you some time...  Good luck!

KristinKD

Oh, boy, can I relate. If I am calm enough, I'll tell her to please wait because I am doing XXX and trying to concentrate. If I'm already flustered, well, I think we all have our moments, right?

kmhunt11

DD does this when she's tired (all the time since school started).  My advice is DO NOT accommodate inappropriate behavior.  It's such a hard line between asking questions and trying to be annoying, but I can usually tell the difference.  When DD is being obnoxious, or even the flash card thing which is a good thing, but an inappropriate time, I calmly say "I'm not available to do that with you right now", or "Why don't we talk about something else."  In a store I ignore her completely unless she gets loud at which point I say, "That is not an appropriate way to act.  Do we need to leave?"  I just feel it's really important to teach her appropriate ways to get attention, ask a question, have a conversation, etc.  If we don't teach it, no one else will  

karleegirl

Your child is 4.5. She needs to be working on manners and this def is one. I tell my 4.5 yr old, you have to wait a minute while mommy finishes x. He has consequences if he doesnt listen. You don't have to be mean just firm. You are the parent though so you don't have to tip toe around this. My 4.5 yr old also knows not to interupt while other people are talking ( especially adults). I put my hand up and he waits about a minute before he says excuse me mommy. In my view that's a good wait for that age.

ecoppins

I'm a big fan of prevention in such instances. If we are in the car and I need to focus, I tell them something like, "Mommy is going to be getting on the highway and needs to focus on driving, why don't you girls look out the windows and see if you can find a red truck." If they say something I just then remind them that traffic is really heavy and mommy needs to focus.

If we are at the store, I tell them what we are looking for, or if we are in a rush ahead of time, then just remind them that mommy is doing X but will do or play or talk when x is done.

When I'm not trying to accomplish something, I try to teach them manners like pp. Also, when I am responding or playing with them, I try to give them my undivided attention and focus. Your daughter may be in need of more attention from you. It's tough with two, but I have found good success with creating mommy dd1 (or dd2) time.

PenelopelePhew

I have to admit that I sometimes tell my little chatter-box that my ears need to rest.  Or that I am trying to make a decision and I can't do that and listen to him right then.  He's 3 and seems to understand and get quiet for a little while.

 

jerol

KristinKD:

Oh, boy, can I relate. If I am calm enough, I'll tell her to please wait because I am doing XXX and trying to concentrate. If I'm already flustered, well, I think we all have our moments, right?

 

HA!HA!  This exactly. 

UsedToBeGoldie

OMG- the "look mom"s have been INSANE with Griffin lately! It must be a 4.5yo thing!!!!!

 

mulrooney

I don't have any suggestions, but I just wanted to say - I am right there with you. My kids are almost the exact same ages & 4.5 y.o. dd can drive me to the brink several times a day with the demands for attention. When 2 y.o. dd gets hurt, the older one instantly needs something & makes the whole situation tougher. 

Shopping is a nightmare with the 2 of them - we just came back from a quick trip to Michael's where DD1 went absolutely ballistic because she couldn't ride in the cart. Fun times. I hope it gets better for you soon