A Little Less Than Excited....

annarach

Hello All,

 We found out on Sunday that we are expecting our first baby. Both BF and I are so excited (me probably more so, he's a little scared) and we have shared our news with a few select people. I had an ectopic pregnancy in 2006, so we're being careful until we hear heartbeat/get past first trimester. I'm feeling great, but tired of course.

 I called my mom on Sunday morning to tell her. I was hoping she would be thrilled, but she just isn't. Instead of saying "congratulations" or "I'm happy for you" she says "are you sure this is what you want?" and "are you both ready?"

I thought maybe this was just an immediate reaction so when I went to her house yesterday, I pretended like it didn't happen and was trying to include her in my excitement. Instead, I got the same reaction again and this time it came with eye-rolling and shrugs and sighs.

I should also note that my dad passed away in July from pancreatic cancer. We only had the diagnosis for 7 weeks before he died, so we're still very much in grieving. I loved my dad more than anything and it's a little bittersweet that I am pregnant because I wanted to share this with him. But he also would have wanted me to enjoy this time with my BF and the family. I also believe, in some way, he is looking over me and this baby.

 Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? How did you respond? Is this something she will get over in time? How do I approach her about this?

blueLu25

First off- congrats to you guys! My mom had a similar reaction, more of shock than anything else I think. We also got a lot of "you're too young" etc etc, and still do even at 27. Anyway, it did get better as she got used to the idea, and especially after baby was born, you would have never know she was so skeptical about it. GL, hope your mom comes around soon! I just did what you are doing and basically ignored it and went on being happy about it, thinking she would join in when she was ready, and she did. 

Blasianlove

First off Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Unfortunately I have not been in your position. So I can't say with personal expierence about being pregnant.

But did you ever ask them why they are reacting this way? I assume there must be a lot more to the story.

The only thing I have expierenced from my point of view, there was a similar situation for a friend recently. No eye-rolling or shrugs, but there wasn't an immediate joy for her from her friends her mom was the opposite.There was a lot with the situation. But each of us explained our reasons and she understood why we felt that way.

gina000

My parents were not over the top excited either, I think they were both in shock.  Eventually they both came around and were very excited for us.  Now they can't get enough of their Grandson. 

Congrats, on your pregnancy. 

dawnies79

blueLu25:

First off- congrats to you guys! My mom had a similar reaction, more of shock than anything else I think. We also got a lot of "you're too young" etc etc, and still do even at 27. Anyway, it did get better as she got used to the idea, and especially after baby was born, you would have never know she was so skeptical about it. GL, hope your mom comes around soon! I just did what you are doing and basically ignored it and went on being happy about it, thinking she would join in when she was ready, and she did. 

This. I'm sorry she didn't react the way you were hoping. I'm sure she will come around. Congrats to you and your BF!

Alli923

First, Congrats!!!

Second, I think sometimes parents are in their shock.  I know my mom was, she was just stunned when we announced we were expecting.  And even though I knew she was excited, it wasn't the over the top excitement I'd expected or wanted.  But, after she had time to process it and let it sink in she was ridiculously excited!  

Give her a little time, especially if she's still grieving.  I'm sure she's going through a plethora of emotions right now and hopefully she will be as excited as you want her to be! 

Shawnly82

  Congratulations!

JessieJH

It's certainly a curious reaction. I'd give her some space to see if she comes around. If she doesn't then I'd ask her about it so you can see what's up.

Otherwise- congratulations and I hope that things go super smoothly from here on out!

shevaCC

JessieJH:

It's certainly a curious reaction. I'd give her some space to see if she comes around. If she doesn't then I'd ask her about it so you can see what's up.

Otherwise- congratulations and I hope that things go super smoothly from here on out!

This. And congrats!

~Lynchie~

Shawnly82:

  Congratulations!

This! 

doublem

First of all, congratulations!  This is exactly why we waited until the first trimester to tell my MIL - no matter what decision we ever make, she always questions it.  We can't tell if she just wants to help us think things through or just can't treat DH like an adult, but either way, it really makes exciting situations less so.  You should be excited and happy now, so surround yourself with friends and family members who will be supportive and enthusiastic for you.  I think if she keeps it up, it wouldn't be unfair of you to call her out on it.

Amylynne1542

 Congratulations to you and BF!

I have to share this with you even if it is a bit late. When I got my BFP I knew my mom would be pissed. I wasn't married, and I was living with BF (who is now DH) against her will, although she really liked him, she wanted "at least one of her daughters to do it right."

I was so mad at her for being bitchy about it. So I said, "You know, mom, I am in a steady and long-term relationship. I am 28 years old, I have a steady job, and I am not irresponsible. I called to share this news with you because you are my mom and I am going to need you. I need your support."

As soon as I was honest with her about that, she got on board. It took time for her to be really excited, but she came around.

I am really sorry that she had a poor reaction initially, and I do hope that things work out.

GL! 

outlandartist

The first thing out of my mom's mouth when I told her was "were you trying?" (we were). She thought it was too soon after we got married (it had been 2 years and we are pushing 30) I just think she was in shock but it bothered me that she didn't seem excited. That soon passed, give it time to sink in.