Dr Phil- Forced into Fatherhood

Mikeysbride2b

Anyone watching this now??? Even though I am all for women most of the time.. I kind of side with the fathers here.  They are angry that the women they slept with went on to have a baby when they didn't want to be a father and now they are being sued for child support.  This is a tough one!! I had a guy friend who made a mistake and wound up finding out a few years later he had a child and he didn't want to be too involved.. does that make him a bad parent or is it the woman's fault for going behind his back and having a baby and never telling him until she felt like it.. to me, that is more wrong!

dawnzer

Although it is crappy that some women go behind the guy's back and not tell him, you really aren't FORCING someone to be a parent if you didn't force them to have sex!

HollyLuv

I only feel it is wrong if it is intentional. He has every right to only agree to sex if he wants to wear a condom. If he willingly had sex, even thinking the girl is on BC, he is opening himself up for the possibility of fatherhood.

Stellasmom

I think if they were involved enough to have their pants down they're involved enough to be held legally responsible for a child. The same goes for women, imo.

Mjmksb04

On one hand, it sucks, but on the other hand its not like the father had no clue how babies are made.

angelynn8411

imo, it is wrong of the woman to not tell the father until she felt like it. it's his right to know. having said that, i dont feel bad for him b/c thats a risk you take when doing the deed.

PlannedChaos

Well, let's see.  My DD's dad pretty much told me to get an abortion when I got pregnant.  He wasn't interested in being a dad.  He had gotten two girls knocked up prior to me, and they had abortions.

SO.  I'm thinking he knew what caused it.  And, I'd been really f-ing adamant to him prior to that, that I wouldn't get an abortion in the same sitch.

(Also FYI - all three babies were conceived with him using condoms.  Nice, eh?)

divakat

They took on that risk when they decided to have sex.  So yes, they need to pay child support.  Sorry, sex may lead to babies.  They aren't the victims here, the innocent baby is.

ashleeanderic

Mikey- I am watching and I agree with you. I think that it is wrong that the first woman said that she could not get pregnant and they talked about not wanting to have kids. Then she got pregnant. And the other guy who didn't find out for a couple of years. Or right now...sperm donor getting sued for child support.

leslienpete

PlannedChaos:

Well, let's see.  My DD's dad pretty much told me to get an abortion when I got pregnant.  He wasn't interested in being a dad.  He had gotten two girls knocked up prior to me, and they had abortions.

SO.  I'm thinking he knew what caused it.  And, I'd been really f-ing adamant to him prior to that, that I wouldn't get an abortion in the same sitch.

(Also FYI - all three babies were conceived with him using condoms.  Nice, eh?)

Wait - why are you on this baord? Weren't you ragging on the 3rd triers earlier saying we shouldn't be on the 2nd tri board?

Steph0

I agree w/ dawnzer. you can't force anyone to have a kid or be a parent. Men should be more careful and women should too if they didn't want a kid....or STD's for that matter.

MrsWarner

Its not like he doesn't know how babies are made.  If he really didn't want to be a father, he should have worn a condom.  That said, I don't think it's right for a woman to have a child and years later come after him for child support when he never knew.

Mogwai

Don't the fathers have the option to sever all parental rights as opposed to being held to pay child support?  From my understanding, the only time they're required to pay is if they still have some relationship to the child.  

From the "women have the same responsibility" side, the woman has the choice to terminate... the man does NOT have that choice.  If he doesn't want the child (in the same way an abortive mother doesn't), there should be some recourse to sever responsibility by severing rights.

My only real experience w/ this is my cousin, who wanted to give her baby up for adoption, but the Dad fought her on it, and didn't want to pay child support.  They basically told him he either had to pay, or he couldn't protest the adoption.

ErinNConnorsMom

dawnzer:

Although it is crappy that some women go behind the guy's back and not tell him, you really aren't FORCING someone to be a parent if you didn't force them to have sex!

Couldn't have said it better myself! : )

prissybride

Men have a choice when they have sex....there is a possiblity you might get a baby and if you choose to still do it both of you get to put up with the result. The only people who are "forced" into parenthood are those who are raped.

peanutontheway

Avery's dad decided he didn't want to be a dad.  He told me to have an abortion.  I am personally against abortion for myself even though I believe a woman should have a right to choose.  Precautions were taken, but obviously nothing is 100%.  In my opinion, he knew the risks when he got in bed just like I did.  I told him I was going to take him to court for support.  He says I'm trying to force him into something he doesn't want to be a part of.

prissybride

Avery's mom...dont feel guilty about anything you didnt force him to sleep with you...so its his responsibility too.

gilmoremama

Mogwai:

Don't the fathers have the option to sever all parental rights as opposed to being held to pay child support?  From my understanding, the only time they're required to pay is if they still have some relationship to the child.  

NOPE, no court will allow a Father to terminate his rights just because he doesn't want to be involved.  Likewise, no court will force a father to take visitation, but they will force monetary support.

I have absolutely no problem with Court ordered support where a father does not want any involvement with said child.  Why should women take on the sole financial burden of raising a child?  Any time a person has sex, they take the risk that they could become a parent.  So either keep it in your pants or be okay with the consequences.

3sthecharm

Do i feel sorry for some men who end up with children they didnt plan on-yes. Does it make it alright for them not to own up to their repsponsibilities-Hell no. Sex causes babies , if you dont want a baby dont have sex.