My job has an "Employee Assistance Program." Someone advised me to contact them, so I did today. I am getting a free consultation (which I have had once w/ another lawyer, but that was a year ago) and I will get a 25% discount on the fees if I choose to retain her. I'm waiting for her to call me back so I can discuss that with her. I am starting to get really nervous about mediation. I really want EX to just agree with me about everything and then we won't have to go to court, but really are we living in la-la-land? I want to have a lawyer if/when we do go to court. I also found out that if I have a bill from the lawyer, I can withdrawn the funds from my 401k. So relieved I worked that out!