I think I'm going to go insane!!

JBullock10

It's been a week since I had DS and we are (until the 30th) in the 2U1 club...

DD goes to sleep at night just fine and sleeps all the way through..even if she wakes up between she just puts herself back to sleep. She's been really good about DS too, hasn't hit him (stole his bink once) but pretty much doesn't want anything to do with him.

I haven't slept in my bed since I went into labor! Every night we've been home DS is up so much during the night that I sleep in the living room on the couch and he either sleeps with me or in his bassinet next to the couch. He's only like this at night and it's driving me insane.

I can't sleep during the day really because DD only has an hour long nap and it doesn't corespond with DS's sleepy time, I'm a SAHM, and my DH is back to work already . I am sooo exhausted, I feel like I haven't gotten ANY sleep since DS came home and any sleep that i have gotten isn't quality sleep.

I don't regret having DS, but I think we should've waited a bit longer because I'mabout to lose my ***. I'm crying at everything, which scares DD and only makes DS cry or cry louder, and I'm soo bitchy towards DH because he gets to leave the house everyday and gets a good night sleep every damn night.

I'm running on empty and I can't for the life of me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find myself thinking of giving DS formula (I EBF) just so DH can feed DS and I can get some flipping sleep, but it's going so well just thinking about it makes me feel guilty.

To top it off my b-day is Sunday..last year I was hugely pregnant and overdue with DD and was unable to celebrate in any way and it's looking like this year will have the same theme as last years. DH works/goes to school 6 days a week, so I don't even get a weekend break.

It has to get better right? Because if not, I don't know if I can do this.

smerka

It does get better. It may take awhile (when #2 sleeps through the night is huge), but it does get better. My husband does a lot better on less sleep than I do and we formula fed so I had a different situation. BUT I will say now that I'm a year into it, I love 2U1. I can't imagine being pregnant now and dealing with my almost two year old. It is very hard the first couple months but you will make it. The best present my parents could have given me was the gift of a babysitter for the first couple months. She came during the day for a couple of hours and helped out. It allowed me to do some shopping, cleaning or napping or even just quietly stare into space. If you know anyone who can help you out, even if it's a couple hours a week, it will totally help your frame of mind. Another thing that totally helps my attitude is to think about how great I've got it in comparison to all the other women who would do anything to have a kid but can't for some reason. Or are in crappy relationships. You can do this. The hours go slow, but the days will fly by. In a year from now, you'll look back and say man that was fast.

kcisthebombdotcom

Do you have an extra room where you could sleep in? Since you're having such a tough time, perhaps DH will give up the bed and sleep on the couch if you asked? I wouldnt suggest bedsharing with a LO on a couch, but I think bedsharing might be your best option to manage some sleep.  I found when I nursed I got so much more sleep than when we FF. I would latch baby on and go back to sleep. So easy.

Hang in there-it will get easier!

howleyshell

JBullock10:

. I am sooo exhausted, I feel like I haven't gotten ANY sleep since DS came home and any sleep that i have gotten isn't quality sleep.

 and I'm soo bitchy towards DH because he gets to leave the house everyday and gets a good night sleep every damn night.

I'm running on empty and I can't for the life of me see the light at the end of the tunnel. I find myself thinking of giving DS formula (I EBF) just so DH can feed DS and I can get some flipping sleep, but it's going so well just thinking about it makes me feel guilty.

 DH works/goes to school 6 days a week, so I don't even get a weekend break.

It has to get better right? Because if not, I don't know if I can do this.

Here's the deal.  I get that DH is busy.  But honestly?  He's got to step up.  You can't function like this.

Your marriage will suffer if he's sleeping peacefully every night while you bear the full brunt of this difficult stage.

A recommendation for you that worked well for us.  I put the kids down and then went to bed myself in the uber quiet and dark basement with a fan running so I couldn't hear the baby cry.  DH did the first baby feeding with (gasp!) formula.  Then he brought the monitor to me and went to bed.

He was in bed by midnight or so and slept peacefully until 6.  That's enough for him for now.

I was able to string together at least 4 - 5 consecutive hours at the start of the night and it made all the difference in the world for me.  When I'm getting 3 or less I loose my ever-loving mind and I'm an awful Mom.

Then on the weekends I'd also head to the basement at the end of the night and DH would get up with both of them and do (gasp!) formula for that morning feed as well so I could do a little extra catching up. 

He's got to step up.

And that may mean he takes a semester off to help his family thru this rough transition period. 

A little bit of formula isn't going to kill the baby but a few supplementations may get you to a place where you may some day actually remember enjoying him as a baby instead of having it all be a crazy blur in your mind a few years from now. 

(however... there's no way I'd wean and switch to exclusively FF because I'm wayyyy too lazy for that.  Nothing beats the convenience of the boob when you're got an infant and a toddler to juggle.) 

NavyPilotWife

Do you have a guest room?  If you don't, I'd definitely kick DH to the couch and sleep in bed with the baby.  I bedshared with DD1 when she was a month old, but I did it right away with DD2 and that's how this tired mama gets sleep.  Try to take a nap or at least lay down and rest, when your DD does.  I know you said that the kids' sleepy periods don't overlap, but maybe the baby would be content in a swing? 

It'll get easier.

Lynn07

It will get easier, I promise. My boys are 13 months apart, and the first 4 months were some of the hardest I've gone through since becoming a mom. You'll get a routine down, the baby will sleep longer stretches, and you'll learn how to get out of the house with both of them. That being said, you absolutely need more help. Whether it's from DH or hiring someone/having friends/family come take your older LO so you can rest. I understand your DH needs to go to work, mine did too, but he needs to step up and realize that you are drowning. I suggest something like howley said - splitting the night so you can get a few hours of uninteruppted sleep. Even if you pump a few times so baby doesn't get formula if you don't want him to, and DH can feed the baby pumped milk, you just need to make a change. Another thing to consider if you don't have family around would be to hire a babysitter for even a few hours a week, so that you can either get time to sleep, take LO#1 out alone, or get out alone to get a moment of self care sanity. You shouldn't have to do it all alone. GL, mama.

4realyo

i dont have any advice but just wanted to say hang in there and i understand how you feel. my Lo#1 is 22 months so a good bit older, but i also EBFing and am the only one getting up with Lo#2. i sleep in my bed and baby is in the crib and I go in there to nurse and shut the monitor off so dh never even wakes up. sometimes i feel like slapping him when i come back to bed for the 3rd or 4th time and he is peacefully sleeping. lol. i know how you feel with ebfing and the struggle that is! hang in there

3/05bride

My 2U2 are not quite here yet but I am guessing I am going to feel your sleepless frustration soon.  I did just want to add that your younger baby might improve sleepwise quickly.  #1 kept us up all night for the first 3-4 weeks, but things improved so much after that (even though I was still waking and BFing several times/night).  Hang in there!

CaitlinJ22

It'll get better. Try to get to bed super early, even if that means you dont see DH much. You need to just get into survival mode. Have him pick up the slack elsewhere like the laundry, shopping taking care of your older LO etc. 

I EBF'd both til after a year, and I don't think formula is bad, but in the beginning I am not a fan, especially if you plan to EBF. Towards the end, I gave DD some in a cup with meals but that was more towards her 1st bday. Can you pump a bit maybe? Soon he will get his days and nights switched and start to sleep better at night. .Can you use a swing at night? or the rock n play sleeper was my favorite for DD, I could lay in bed and rock her back to sleep easily in that thing. it was inclined too so I could nurse her and lay her down and she wouldnt spit up.  

Hang in there. Try your hardest to get him to sleep when you put DD down and nap!