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March 2012 Moms
digwriter
member
Things you actually do and do not need.
digwriter
member
Since many of us are now in nursery planning/ gear registering mode, I thought it might be helpful to hear from 2nd+ time moms, professional nannies, early childhood educators or others who have a lot of experience with babies regarding what we actually do and do not need to buy at this stage. I know BRU and others will tell you that you need every single under the sun, but as someone who's had a quite a bit of baby experience, I can tell you that a good deal of those items are "nice to haves" and not "need to haves".
So if you have some wisdom (or simply educated opinions) to share, please tell us:
What babies or moms really don't need
What babies or moms absolutely do need
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Things you actually do and do not need.
Great question! I have my pen and pad ready for the replies because I have no idea what I will need as well.
My sister, KU with #2 shredded my registry
No wipe warmer. Once they have warm bootie wipes they expect them all the time and throw a fit if you are out and have a cold wipe!
She hated her baby tub and ended up going with the 10$ yellow baby sponge. My niece threw a FIT in the infant tub and preferred the bathroom sink
She did love having a video monitor. Said the extra cost was worth it to be able to peek and see that baby was there, breathing and ok!
I mean you really need very little when it comes down to it - some burp cloths (nothing fancy), diapers, cloths to use as wipes with water (no baby wipes allowed the first couple of weeks), swaddle blankets and breast pads for you (if you're nursing).
Honestly, it's not like the world will stop spinning and currency will stop working once the baby is born. You, your husband, a grandparent or a friend can run out and get something you discover you have to have.
Things we didn't really use:
- PNP (DS slept in his crib from night 1). We do need one for traveling to family but could have gotten a much more basic one
- changing table- we use this about once a day. Usually just change on the floor
- bedding set. Really cute but we never used the comforter or the bumpers.
- Boppy. Most people love these but I nursed in a recliner most of the time and didn't need it
Don't bother registering for clothes, blankets, burp cloths, towels, etc - people will buy those for you and they don't really stick to a registry.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
I always advise moms to start thinking about their lifestyle and their vision as a family to determine the real essentials. Also, you have to start considering some parenting decisions.
For example, my family walks our big dog every night. A good stroller is an absolute must for us. My good friend bought a fancy travel system because it was a "must have" and now kicks herself for spending the money, because they rarely use the stroller and she says, we could rent a stroller anywhere we want to go that we'd actually need one. On the other hand, we rarely travel and our house is all on one level. We rarely use our pack and play and wish we hadn't spent the money on that item.
Likewise, if you plan on breastfeeding, a pump and the boppy might be more important than a great number of bottles. As a mom returning to work, I needed baby close but didn't feel okay with co-sleeping. The arm's reach co-sleeper was one of our best items purchased. Baby is right next to the bed so I can grab him to feed, but I felt safer not having him in bed with us.
You are exactly right- there are some things you'll really need and others you won't- spend some time envisioning yourself as a parent before you buy!
Need:
*Boppy or other type of BFing pillow (even if not BFing, I did use it for bottlefeeding as well since we supplemented w/DD#1) along with an extra cover for it
*At least 3 crib sheets. Middle of the night spit up, diaper blow-outs, etc. You will want to be able to change the sheet and not worry about getting the next one out of the wash right away. We also have a crib mattress protector.
*Cloth diapers (the original Gerber kind) to put on the changing table pad. A lot of times they'd get just a spot dirty and then I could just throw the cloth diaper in the laundry instead of changing out the whole pad cover. We used disposable diapers but the Gerber cloth diapers were great for the extra protection on the changing table pad and also to use as burp cloths.
*Onesies and zip-up sleepers. My girls lived in these their first several weeks. I hated messing with onesies that had snaps; the zipper were so much easier.
*Gerber burp cloths and washcloths. Perfect size for wiping up spit up and for use during bathtime.
*Carseat and stroller, obviously.
*I bought a few cute blankets that I loved for DD#1 but ended up getting a mass amount of blankets at her shower so be aware that is a popular shower item.
*SwaddleMe - both girls used them and I really feel like they helped them sleep well.
*PNP (we used this in the beginning and later for travel; in fact, we still use it often)
*Changing table (some people do not have a need for one, but I loved having a central place for diapers, wipes, bulb syringe, etc. and it was really nice to have a spot to change the baby that was at that height)
Don't Need
*Bottle warmer (we just warmed the bottle in a glass of hot/warm water). I used a friend's one time when I was babysitting for her son and it was such a PITA that I ended up just warming it in a glass of water instead.
*Wipe warmer
*Not really a "do not need" but be careful about selecting a carrier if you think you will use one. I did not use one at all for DD#1 and received one as a gift for DD#2 but she hated it and so did I. So, I guess it was a "do not need" item for us but some things like the carrier, swing, bouncy seat, swaddlers, etc. are so relative to each baby.
*Travel wipe case. I just use one of the regular packs of wipes or else buy the travel packs of wipes to throw in the diaper bag.
*The bedding sets - even though they are terribly cute, we just bought some crib sheets and a breathable bumper.
Hmm...I'm sure there are more! I'll add if I think of anything else.
We used wipes from day 1, that migth be personal preference?
My list:
What babies or moms really don't need
Shoes - no really, especially not name brand runners. Since they don't walk, little babies really don't need $60 Nikes. Seriously. Honestly, unless I'm having a family portrait done, I doubt I'd even go for $10 dollar shoes, which by the way they will inevitably kick off and loose. Go for comfy socks. Sure, they yank those off too, but considering the costs, it's far less of a big deal.
Overpriced strollers - Does baby really need the Maserati of strollers? Baby? No. Parents who need to be all trendy and "look at me". I guess. But really, you can find a good, sturdy stroller that even has a few bells at whistles for far less than the latest thousand dollar UberBaby 5000. As a matter of fact, I once spent a winter (and a Canadian winter at that) pushing a baby in a Wal-Mart stroller through snow and slush with no problem.
Change tables - Ok, I imagine some of you might be giving this one the side eye, but I really don't see change tables as something necessary. Do you have a bed, a couch or even a floor? All you really need is a good, thick change pad. Of course the double duty dresser/change table is an excellent option.
What babies or moms absolutely do needReceiving blankets/barf catchers - Looking back, I'm pretty sure my nephew puked on me pretty much every time I picked him up. If not for my constant receiving blanket over the shoulder I would have ended up doing a lot more laundry.
A comfy chair - doesn't have to be expensive, just comfy. Good for feeding, snuggling and all around comforting the baby.
Pants with diaper snaps - I honestly don't know why these seem to be disappearing from the baby stores, but it frightens me. They're so rare now I feel like I have to by them now, anytime I manage to find them. Seriously, diaper snaps make changing baby in public a million times easier.
Our hospital and pediatrician told us just to use water for 2 weeks. So, not sure.
For baby: A bouncy seat, lots of FOOTED sleep-n-plays in all sizes, Mylicon, a boppy, a bumbo, lots of soft cloth bibs, swaddle sacs, some soft fleece blankets, a floor gym/mat, FP Soothe and Glow Seahorse (LIFESAVER,) soft hats, pacifiers
For mommy: A great breast pump, ibuprofin, a comfy glider/rocking chair, lots of hair ties and clips, face wipes (because you won't have time to shower often,) tissues (because you will most likely cry a lot,) sports bras, sweatpants
HTH!
I'm not sure if I'm just in a bad mood, but this comment rubbed me the wrong way. I'm pretty sure everyone here is aware of the fact that baby stores will still be open on in March 2012. Why reply just to complain about how silly it is to want to be prepared? A lot of us are trying to budget in advance and would rather not waste money (or the money of our friends and family) but putting things on the registry that usually just collect dust once the baby actually arrives.
Also: maxi pads. And bring your own to the hospital.
I used wipes from day one as well (and plan to with this one). Never heard to only use water for 2 weeks. That's a new one to me...
Just pulled up my email from my know-it-all sister
Sheet savers (along with multiple fitted sheets).
Screw the fancy burp cloths and get old skool cloth diapers that soak up the messes for cheap! A waterproof pad/liner for the changing pad.
They did not get a noise maker, but did buy a loud fan b/c the babies room at the time got a lot of neighborhood noise. Her 10$ fan was fine vs a $100 noise machine.
She also said Gerber onzies run small and shrink and to buy Carters.
I'm going to be a FTM but was a nanny for years and a daycare worker for 4 1/2 so I have seen a lot of really useful and a lot of not so useful gadgets for babies.
The first thing I will say is that the cribs that have an attached changing table are often unnecessary. It doesn't take very long for the child to grow out of holding still for a changing and they like to climb everywhere while being changed at at this point, the floor is safer. Then you're left with extra furniture on your crib that is essentially used for holding clothes and stuffed animals. MH and I registered for a crib and separate changing table that when the babies don't hold still for changes, it will be used as an end table/lamp table or something else. Plus, the ones with the attached changing table are often a little bit smaller than the cribs that are just cribs if this matters to you. (I do know moms who prefer this type so again, this is just my opinion).
Other not so useful or just "nice to have items" include wipe warmers and bottle warmers as I'm sure PP said. Up until a certain point, the toys that strap into the car seat are pretty useless as well (along with many toys FTM register for and then can't use for months or even a year). Registering for an entire bedding set is often a waste of money, seeing as how you can't use the included bumper or the comforter/quilt. By the time it's considered "safe" to put the bumper into crib, the baby will have learned to play with it/take it off of the bars (and the breathable ones are cheaper than ones included in the kits). When you register/purchase a mattress, look to see if the mattress has a protective covering or is made out of the material that I have to call laminated for lack of a better description. If the mattress is waterproof, you don't really need the waterproof crib pads. You can save yourself (or your shower guests) some money by registering/purchasing the pillows which are boppies (sp?) and nursing pillows all in one - the ones we registered for are made by FAO Schwartz. I know plenty of moms who gave up on nursing or nursing pillows but the boppies can be a lifesaver, and unfortunately they can be pretty expensive. If you don't have a preference for a specific diaper pail, find out which ones in your area have the same size bags as kitchen bags. Kitchen bags are a lot less expensive, come in larger quantities and I've found they're often more durable. Strollers are a big ticket item to consider what is going to be right for you/your family: snap and go strollers are fantastic for grocery shopping and doctors appointments and larger strollers that take carseats and can be used without are fantastic and jogging/athletic strollers are a favorite I've found. But chances are you won't need all of them at the same time, and they can be rather expensive. For example, if the jogging strollers can't take babies before a certain age/weight, it might be worth it to hold off or get one second hand.
Here are the must haves or really really nice to haves: I would invest in a lamp that has multiple settings or an attachment that will allow you to dim the lamp, especially if you have overhead lighting (it makes it easier to peek in on the baby without waking them). The most basic necessities are often the ones that are the nicest to have the most of - blankets, burp clothes, onesies and sleepers. Especially sleepers depending on the season you're due. Don't be surprised if your baby doesn't take the bottle/pacifier you pick out for them. I've nannied for families whose children tried multiple kinds before they found one that worked for them. For this reason, it's helpful to have a couple of each kind to try so that you don't feel like you're out of options if the baby spits out the pacifier and won't take it back. Once you figure out which brand/style the baby likes, you can always get more.
THIS! I thought it was just because I still have morning sickness. Glad I'm not alone, Cho.
So, I went through and thought of things I used/needed with G and those I didn't use or need as much.
The only things you'll really need at first are:
Diapers
Wipes
Bottles (even if BFing)
Breast Pump (if BFing) -- also storage bags
Burp Cloths (cloth diapers work really well)
A place for baby to sleep
Some clothes for him/her to wear (Nothing super fancy unless you have a special event. Onsies and sleepers are just fine.)
Baby shampoo, lotion, powder, wash, etc.
Pacifier (I'd have one on hand just in case)
Bottle cooler (if you're BFing)
Changing pad (for diaper bag)
Diaper Bag
Car Seat (obvs)
Socks, mittens, hat (depending on time of year)
A way to bathe him/her (We just got the spong thingy & laid it on the tub so G wouldn't slide around until he could sit up on his own)
Sound Monitor (if baby will nap/sleep apart from you)
You'll need eventually:
Crib (if baby sleeps in a PNP or Bassinet at first)
More clothes, obviously
Bibs
High chair
Stroller
Don't need at all:
Diaper wipe warmers
Diaper Genie (You'll want to take the really stinky ones to your outdoor garbage)
Bottle warmer (A cup of hot water works just fine)
Disposable changing pads
Pacifier wipes
Bottle sterilizer
Don't need but I loved having
Exersaucer
Boppy
Play Mat
Bottle Brush (so much easer to wash bottles with it than a dish cloth)
Swing
Bouncy chair
Bottle container for the dishwasher
Scented diaper garbage bags
Video Monitor
Sorry to all who were offended, but I just think all of this attention to preparedness when most of us are only in the first weeks of our 2nd trimester is ridiculous. Plus, if budgeting is your concern, then I think it is silly to pre-buy all this crap when you don't really know what you will need. I was just trying to suggest what, in my opinion, were the absolute necessities.
Then again, I won't be having a registry or a shower, nor did I have those with DS, so maybe I have a different perspective - it's only MY money I'd have wasted buying a bunch of bouncers and saucers and whathaveyou that were not needed. I found it better to buy something at the point when DS needed it and then be able to return it if necessary, rather than buying it 6-9 months in advance and being stuck with it because I was outside the return period. But, I think I'm in the minority on this one.
The comment that I have on the overpriced strollers: I have not had a baby. This will be my first. But I have found with every other product that I have bought in my life the more bells and whistles and junk the product comes with...the more stuff there is to break. Simple, basic products usually last the longest and are the easiest to use. (And I still don't understand why one stroller has four cup holders, and then you can buy ADDITIONAL cup holders?!?!? That's a lot of peein'!)
I definitely wasn't offended, and I can understand your perspective. I just didn't see the point of posting to the thread just to complain about how silly the thread topic was. I could do that on a million threads on The Bump at any one time, but I don't feel like wasting my energy.
But I wasn't just complaining... I gave suggestions first. What I was really trying to say was "don't worry if you forget something, it will all be ok". I'm sorry if it sounded snarky.
I'm kind of straddling the March and April boards right now, but since I'm on my second, I figured I would chime in!
Frankly, I loved the boppy. I used it for breastfeeding, but I also used it to support my arms/baby when I needed to hoover a sandwich, bottle feed, DH used it, family used it. We also used it to prop DS up when he was a little bigger and I needed to get things done. He learned to sit up in it. We finally retired it when he was about 8 mo.
Gerber cloth diapers. Plain white. These things are perfect for EVERYTHING. I kid you not we still have them in rotation and they are used on a daily basis in our home. He won't sleep without one in his hand and during a meltdown there's a 90% chance if we produce a "raggie" he will calm down. They clean and absorb all messes.
Lots of onesies, sleepers, tshirts. DS didn't have any newborn clothes that didn't fit in those categories. He pooped or spit up on anything we put him in, so we just stuck with those things. Also, if you have a dog, don't leave anything with spit up laying around. Our dog literally ate half of the coming home outfit DS wore, because it had spit up on it and I tossed it next to the hamper. Not to mention the 20 other various spit rags and sleepers he ate...
I'm sure there are other things, but those were the best things for us in the very beginning.
I also think this time we'll be buying one of those little vibrating bouncy seats. If any STMs out there have any input on those please share!
Ahh... gotcha
Wow - it's obviously different for everyone, and for the preferences of your baby. Here's mine:
NEEDS (besides things like diapers, the best breast pump you can find,wipes, car seat, etc)
DONT NEED (pretty much duplicates of what everyone else said)
Mrs.Gee - it's not that you're necessarily in the minority... I think it's the tone of your posts that conveys a very condescending or maybe smug feeling. There is a way to be positive and helpful and a way to come off as kind of rude... and I think you are coming off as rude in both of your posts.
Off B.C. Jan '06, started charting Feb '08, 2% morphology and PCOS, no O with meds,
IVF w/ICSI only option to conceive.
Licensed Foster Parents 07.11
Miracle BFP 7.20.11 1st beta 6,274! EDD 3.17.12
Miracle Baby born March 5, 2012 . 6lbs 1oz, 19 3/4"
Miracle BFP #2 10.8.12 - edd 6.20.13
I remember flipping out on DH to get the high-chair out of the box and put together before DS arrived, because we were going to have CHAOS with a new baby and let's just GET IT DONE so we don't have to WORRY about it. In reality, DS couldn't even sit up in the chair until 4 months - I was being a semi-crazy pregnant lady but it was all based on hormones. Luckily DH is a smart man and followed (most of) my orders when I was big as a house.
DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
Things I loved:
Gerber cloth diapers ? these saved our lives (and clothes) for at least 6 months. They wipe up ANYTHING, seriously.
Bouncy seat ? we had one that vibrates, and she slept in it constantly
Carters onesies ? not the Gerber. Carters run a little bit larger, don?t shrink as much and are a thicker/nicer material
Moby/carrier ? as a newborn, C loved to be held constantly. And quite frankly I loved the snuggles, but we also had things to do, like make dinner, throw in a load of laundry or run to the grocery store. So this one something that helped me get those things done without crying haha
Lots of socks and sleepers w/ feet - I personally preferred to dress baby up in outfits for going out to the store, etc, but at home, these are comfy and stretchy, plus March is cold where I live, and they are good for bundling
Sleep sacks/Swaddlers ? We used the Summer Infant wearable blankets w/ the swaddle when C was born and we still use the blankets now
Gripe Water ? This was amazing for us. C had a ?witching hour? in the evenings and this was really helpful to settle her down. I think we also used it for the occasional bad bout of hiccups.
Things I didn?t love/didn?t use:
Boppy ? I am a plus size mom and this just wasn?t comfortable for me to use. We used it for a little bit to prop C up, but not enough to really warrant the purchase
Bumbo ? Just couldn?t justify the $$, don?t think we really would have used it much
Wipe Warmer ? we have one, but I wouldn?t get it again. We hardly ever change her at the place where it is plugged in ? speaking of, we got a changing pad and just put it on top of a low dresser, then it is still a functional piece of furniture even after you are no longer changing dipes
We liked our swing, and we use it a lot more now that she is bigger, but we certainly would have been just fine without it. My mom lives about an hour from our home and we often go visit overnight, so we use our PnP a lot, but just leave it there. I felt it was a waste to keep at our house, we never used it, but really we use it all the time with our weekends away.
Like others said, as long as you have the essentials for infant time (diapers, wipes, clothes, place for baby to sleep), you will be just fine. A lot of the things that you register for won?t be used right away anyhow, so don?t stress if you don?t have an exersaucer or highchair. You have plenty of time to get one. Also, I was worried we would feel so stressed and like we were completely thrown for a loop, but C was pretty easy-going and we were able to get out a lot. Again, blankets and clothes are popular gift items, so I wouldn?t worry about having LO?s complete wardrobe. You can always run out (or send DH) if you discover a need for something. Once she came, I would think ?Wow, it would be nice if they had x? and then we would be wandering around a store and magically, it was there!
FWIW, as a first-time mom-to-be with anxiety, her comment helped me relax a bit. I don't know if this was intended, but just wanted to offer a different perspective.
Things we used right away:
Obvious: Diapers, Wipes, Cloth diapers (as burp rags), onesies, zipper pjs (so much easier to undress and dress the baby in the middle of the night than trying to line up snaps), clothes, blankets (especially liked the swaddle mes because it made swaddling so easy), car seat
Breast Friend (Personally I liked this better than a boppy and found it to be more supportive, It velcros on so that you are totally hands free and I used it throughout the first year while nursing...probably didn't need it in the later months but it was just very handy!)
Pack and Play (Because of having a c-section I couldn't lay all the way down so sleeping propped up on the couch worked best for me. The baby slept in the Pack and play for the first 3 weeks (with the cradle type attachement))
Swing He loved it and sometimes napped in there (and once or twice slept in there)
Saline for stuffy noses and an electric or battery operated nasal aspirator (You feel a little like you are sucking out their brain when using them but my husband tried it out and said it just feels funny)
Breast pump (Medela) As a working mom but one who could take my son with me I only got a single pump. Every working mom I know says that they like the double pump because it's obviously a time saver. (Eventually, I would pump one side and burse on the other using my homemade hands free nursing bra (an old sports bra with holes cut out))
Lovey- Because we weren't giving ours a pacifier, I wanted him to have something besides me that he would be comforted (this was from advice from a friend who felt like the only thing that calmed her son was nursing and you don't want to become a human pacifier). I gave it to him while he nursed from very early on and he still sleeps with it now and he's 19 months.
Stroller We used ours early on once it was warm enough to take short walks down our street. How fancy you want to go depends on you. I will say that as you have more kids (and I know this from nannying), it's nice to have those extra cupholders!
Things to consider borrowing because we didn't use them very long
Bumbo I think we used it once or twice and please never put it up high! Mine tumbled out of it while on the floor so he was fine but he wouldn't have been if he'd been up high.
exersaucer We did use ours for awhile but if you have friends that aren't currently using theirs, you should try and trade some of these things off because storing them can be a pain!
That's all I can think of for now!
Everyone is going to have their own opinion as to what is needed and what isn't.
I personally couldn't have done it without my changing table. I am tall and my back killed me everytime I changed DS on the floor or the bed. He is over 2 and I still use the changing table.
I liked my swing and so did DS.
My list of must-haves include:
Glad we had them, but not a must-have:
Waste of money (imo):