Getting a job? Selfish?

vanessaNOV2

I am having a very very hard time being a SAHM with 2u2. With a toddler entering terrible twos & a clingy teething 8 month old I just cant emotionally & mentally handle it all day long. DH works 50+ hours a week, some outa town. We dont have any money in budget for a nanny or mom helper...not unless I get a job. I planned to work when my first baby turned 1 but then we had a surprise 2nd pregnancy. Some days I really really need a break & dont get one. Am I selfish for thinking this way???

TempNewSN

I don't think you're being selfish at all.  There's no same right answer for everyone.  I work FT, and I will continue to work FT once LO2 is 12 weeks old.  I couldn't imagine not working.  I really do value my job and my LO.  I have definitely found a good balance that works for me.  GL with your decision.

angelproberts

I definitely think you should do what's best for you. If you can't handle being a SAHM (meaning it doesn't fit your personality) then don't do it. I'm doing it now and I can't wait until I find something full time. I'm going batty!!! There isn't enough adult interaction for me. Not to mention there's not enough money for me to do anything for myself (I hope that doesn't sound too selfish but I can't remember the last pair of pants, shirt, pedicure, manicure, hair appt that I had, not that I need all of that but one would be nice every now and then)

kattyleigh

I really struggled with this too. I was a SAHM for DD. When I had DS, I really wanted to go back to work but I felt so guilty. I ended up taking a job three days a week (RN). I've never been happier. I honestly feel like (for me) my time at home with my children is now richer and more full. I'm happier and I can sense my kids are too. My toddler is totally thriving in daycare or "school" as we call it, and so far I'm relieved with my choice to work. I am no longer craving "me" time like I was as a SAHM. It is what's best for our family and thus I refuse to feel guilty any more.

Arielle27

That isn't at all selfish! You cannot give your children your best if you aren't taking care of yourself. You are being really honest about what you need... Do it!

kcisthebombdotcom

No, not selfish at all!

I'm not cut out to SAH full time, so I work a part time job. I feel like I get the best of both worlds-I'm with my kids the majority of the time, but I get 15 hours a week to get a little break where I can drink a cup of coffee in peace and interact with adults.

Maybe something like that would work well for you too?

roundtheworldgirl

You are definitely not selfish for needing a break.  I know how you feel.  My older daughter turns 2 next week and she has become a terror.  She also has always been a very high-needs kid - needs attention all.the.freaking.time - and I have to really try to make sure I pay enough attention to my other one.  By about 5:30 every evening I am fried, and DH never gets home before 6:30. I have a part-time nanny (I also work a few hours per week - no more than 10, and lately more like six), and I seriously think I would go insane without this.  Insane.  It's so hard.

I felt really guilty starting to work again - even though my hours are so limited.  But it has worked out really well for us.  I am still home most of the time, and I get a bit of a break, and a chance to wear clothes that aren't covered in mucus or slobber, and to talk to adults for a few hours a week.  

Hugs to you - I hope you find a way to make things easier.  It is hard, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

howleyshell

Confession to follow.

When I don't work I can't wait to get a break from my kids.

When I do work I can't wait to spend time with them.

Which attitude would you prefer your mother to have?

 

I work part time.  It's the perfect solution for us.

 

 

moonfaerie

Not selfish at all. You need to do what will make you happiest, and therefore make you the best mom you can be. I work part-time, three eight-hour days a week, and it is the best balance for me. I worked FT after #2 but it was killing me, and my whole family was exhausted, cranky, miserable from Monday through Friday. Good luck, I hope you can find your perfect balance.

kattyleigh

howleyshell:

Confession to follow.

When I don't work I can't wait to get a break from my kids.

When I do work I can't wait to spend time with them.

Which attitude would you prefer your mother to have?

 

I work part time.  It's the perfect solution for us.

 

 

I love this. Well said.

Beckypooh09

I feel the same way but I'm wondering if for me, it's just because DS2 is still very young and we're still adjusting. If I feel the same way come January I have decided I will likely start looking for a job and not look back!

You are not selfish at all. GL!