Did DH stay with you after delivering #2 or with LO#1 at home?

Laura&Joe

My parents plan on watching DD1 while I'm actually delivering DD2 and bring her to the hospital when we think it's getting close so she can be the first to meet her little sister. But I don't know what to do AFTER DD2 is born. I think it'd be nice for DH to have some "alone" time in the hospital to bond with DD2 a little bit but I also feel like DD1 is going to have enough confusion (staying with gparents, mommy in hospital, new baby, etc.) that maybe it would be best for DH to go home with her after we are all settled. It'd also be nice to have a little help from DH in the hospital, but the nurses were very helpful with #1 so that shouldn't be a problem.

 Anyways, I'm just wondering what everyone else did and looking for your suggestions. Thanks!

howleyshell

Home.

He only stayed 1 night with #1 too.

No sense in both of us being sleep deprived, right?

I had sections with both and managed just fine in the middle of the night by myself or with a bit of nurse help.

I wanted DH to be as rested as possible and DS to have as normal a routine as possible.

DH had his alone bonding time because Grandma came with him and DS #1 and then Grandma took DS #1 back for nap time while DH stayed a bit longer.

Over all I spent a lot of my time alone at the hospital with #2 and frankly I'm glad I did.  It gave us bonding time and me some of the last bits of peace and quiet I'd have for a long time to come. 

smerka

DH stayed with me and my parents stayed with DS1. He wasn't even one yet so he didn't meet his brother until we came home from the hospital. I thought it would be way to traumatic for him to come to the hospital, see mommy, and then have to leave again. it worked really well for us.

lkf041

My Dh stayed with me in the hospital when I had #2 and my parents/his parents watched #1.  This time however he will stay home.  It's way too much to ask someone to take care of both kids the entire time and to be honest he really isn't needed at the hospital every night.

sweetpea2003

I was only in the hospital for 36 hours so he stayed with me the whole time.  My DD came and visited the evening her brother was born, but went home with my mom and my DH stayed with me.

If you have a normal vaginal delivery and are only in the hospital 48 hours I would have DH stay.  I think it is important for you guys to give the new baby the same attention that you gave your first baby.  DH and I really felt strongly that our son deserved our undivided attention for that first day (just like my DH stayed with DD and I in the hospital after she was born). 

If you have a c-section and you are in the hospital for 3-5 days I can understand maybe doing it differently. 

LilCMom

The hospital I delivered LO #2 in did not have very good arrangements for the husband, and our in-laws were in town, so he left late at night, around 10:30 p.m. and went to stay the night with the in-laws. I just enjoyed the alone time and slept, and the nurses brought DS in to nurse which was actually some very nice bonding time, just the two of us. Then DH was back early in the morning. It worked very well for us.

Court0026

Home.  Our hospital didn't allow spouses/SO's to stay over, but I am sure he would have gone home to DS either way. 

Laura&Joe

Thanks ladies! We were also thinking that it's only fair to give this baby the same kind of attention that we gave to DD1 after she was born so we were leaning towards DH staying with me. I never considered the idea that at least one of us should be home getting some much needed sleep before we bring the new baby home. Good thinking! Now I'll have to reconsider my plans. Thanks for your advice!

CaitlinJ22

He stayed with me for one night, and my mom stayed the next. DD was born at 10 at night, so we had some great bonding throughout the night, he got to bond with her too, and at 10 am DS came to visit with my mom. Then in the afternoon my husband went home to get DS down for a nap, and my mom came and stayed the night and we left the next and DH came to pick me up. 

I felt that 24 hours was a great time for DH and I  to bond together wth our baby girl. After  we got home his job was DS, so it was greta for him to have some quiet time with DD in the hospital.  

vanessaNOV2

Dh was there for delivery & few hours after that. He stayed home with ds#1 while I was in hospital. Nurses were great at taking care of me & ds#2. It was actually a nice recovery & break in hospital before going home with ds#2.

MAMAxB

lkf041:

My Dh stayed with me in the hospital when I had #2 and my parents/his parents watched #1.

This is our plan too!

cjsbdl

DH stayed with me in the hospital for my entire stay with both babies, and I personally couldn't imagine it any other waay. It's such a special time and I'm glad he was able and willing to be there with us. I understand why others do it differently and I'm not saying this is the only right way to do things, but it's what was right for our family.

When I had my daughter my son stayed at our house with both his grandmothers caring for him.

Virginny

We don't have family close by and since DH will be out of town about a week after baby is due, I'm having my mom fly in. We've made arrangements for a good friend to take DS when I go into labor. He'll probably stay with her for a day or 2, but I'm sure that hubby will want to get DS back asap. I am actually looking forward to bonding/nursing time with the baby in the hospital. And I'd like DH to know what it's like to care for DS by himself, lol

maramarrie

DS stayed with grandparents the night before we went to the hospital and the first night I was in the hospital. DH stayed with me the first night. I was in the hospital two more nights and DH spent those nights at home with DS so that he wasn't out of his routine more than a couple days. It worked out well, but I was really sad about the fact that he couldn't be there with me. The baby blues were strong already in the first couple days and I was really panic stricken about DH not being there, but I had family stay with me instead and it worked out.

mrsseguin

I had a repeat c/s with #2.  DH stayed at the hospital the first night.  He was home the second night cause MIL couldn't watch DS.  If he could have, he would have stayed with me as much as possible.  It was nice to be alone with just the 2 of us and the new baby.

chloephoebecali

He stayed in the hospital and I was glad.  My ILs watched her at their house (they have a room with crib).  It worked out fine.  She even visited me and was fine.  I was nervous, but it was the right choice for our family.

kcisthebombdotcom

Here was our time at the hospital (I had a csection)

Day 1 (Tuesday): Dh stayed all day/night @ the hospital. DS with my parents

Day 2 (Wednesday): DH went to work, stayed overnight @ hospital. DS with my parents.

Day 3 (Thursday): DH went to work, picked up DS from my parents for a family visit, took DS home to sleep in his own bed.

Day 4: (Friday): DH took day off work, dropped DS off at my parents late that morning, picked me up from the hospital, and picked up DS.

It was nice that DH worked those 2 extra days in the hospital, since it gave him 2 extra days at home. He ended up being home with us until I was 3 weeks PP.

Being in the hospital alone SUCKED. I'm sure if I had an easy recovery it would have been fine, but I ended up with a spinal headache, and on top of that my BP spiked dangerously high (think nurse running to get the doctor, doctor rushing in, meds adminstered immediately, lots of blood taken for tests) and I ended up being in the hospital an extra 12 hours.  I called him crying and he had to leave work early on Wednesday.

moonfaerie

He slept at home after both LOs were born. He was going to work while I was still in the hospital so it was better for him to be well-rested.

It is more important to me to have his help when we go home, not at the hospital where the staff is there to help when I need it.

randa0880

Dh was with me for delivery and up until about 8pm. DD1 stayed with my mom from Wed. afternoon until friday evening (I delivered on wed). Then, dh went back to work thursday and friday so that he could have the next 2 1/2 weeks off at home. I was kinda bummed that he wouldn't be there while I was in the hospital, but I was sooo grateful that I had him home for that time.

3/05bride

We will be going through this any day...the plan is for DH to stay with me and DS to stay with my parents at our house.  Our nanny will come her usual hours during the day (assuming they are weekdays) so my parents will have a little break and can visit the baby in the hospital.  We are leaning toward not having DS visit in the hospital since he is only 16 months old and I think it might be harded for him to see us and have to leave.  If we are in the hospital more than 2 nights for some reason, I think DH will be going back home to sleep at night and my mom will probably stay in the hospital with me.