Last night was really rough (long)

TinaL99

DH came home in a bad mood.  He had called me on speakerphone after he picked Stella up from day care.  He said that all he heard on the way home was "Mama, mama, mama".  I've posted before about how clingy she is to me and won't even go to DH sometimes.  Well it was getting better, they would play and rough house a little bit.  Now she's all about Mama and has even hit DH a few times.  He was in tears last night and said that he feels like she hates him.  I feel awful and just don't know what to do.

On top of that Audrey did not sleep well at all.  Every time I put her in her crib (where she's been sleeping since coming home) she either cried or got the hiccups, or both!  I fed her, changed her, rocked her, burped her, gave her Mylicon.  Finally at 1:30 I sat on the couch with her and she slept for over 3 hours on my chest.  I do NOT want to make a habit of this, it scares me that I might drop her, but I'm in total survival mode right now.  I'm running on maybe 2 hours of sleep and I swear if anyone crosses me I will hurt them.

Has anyone had success with Gripe Water for hiccups?  I might run out and pick some up this afternoon.

Kim72508

Gripe water = Magic potion and sanity saver!!!  Buy some today!

meryltheresa

I have no advice on the hiccups.  But I have heard wonderful things about Gripe Water.

I feel for you on the DH thing though.  L is jammed up my butt most of the time, and I know it hurts his feelings.  I've started to warn him that it might get a little worse when the new LO comes along.  You have to remember that you have this little thing stuck to you now, and she's probably confused.  Hang in there, and i'm sure if he keeps showing her lots of attention it will get better again.

MrsWhiteonWhiteSt

We loved gripe water! It really does work.

btw ::big hugs:: about survival mode. There was so many things I swore I'd never do until I actually had kids. I think by the time you have 2 (or 3 or 4) you're just so exhausted you'll try anything.  Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

ArcticFox

Kids go through phases.  You're going through a rough time, honestly your DH just needs to suck it up right now and just help you take care of the kids.  Your DD is probably clingy because she sees you giving the baby so much attention and she wants that.. and whatever it is, it will pass..  I was basically on my own when I had baby #2, and not to sound harsh, but if my DH was moping around or being in a bad mood, it doesn't help anyone.

NikCole

I have no advice on the Gripe water, we never needed it... but I've heard good things. Can't hurt to try!

I'm sure Stella is back to wanting you all the time because she's a little jealous of all the time you're spending w/ the baby. Maybe this weekend the 2 of you can get some one on one time together. I don't know if you are pumping, or have given A a bottle yet. But even if not, maybe feed the baby and take Stella outside and give her your undivided attention while DH stays inside w/ the baby. Or if you feel comfortable leaving the baby for an hour w/ a bottle, take Stella out for a special lunch or something.

Good luck! I'm sure the 4 of you will adjust in no time. 

Irisheyes1247

I hear what you are saying about LO being in a momma phase. Charlotte has hit this pretty hard recently and it doesn't help that DH's shifts are constantly changing so when he works, she gets to see him for about 1/2-1 hr at most that day. I know it hurts DH's feelings that she wants to be by me. ((hugs)) I am sorry that she has amped it up now when you guys are still trying to figure things out and you really need the help from DH. Maybe when DH get home, he could take Audrey for a bit and you could spend some time with Stella, then you say ok, daddy's going to help you with dinne/give you a bath/etc while mommy feeds the baby. Then she would know that she will get some time with you and know what to expect? It is a really crappy phase, but I think you just have to keep pushing through it. And let DH know it really is just a PHASE. She has to adjust to the new changes, like both of you did.

wendyj

No advice on the gripe water, but just wanted to give you big {{HUGS}}. Kids go in phases, and there will come a point when S will want nothing to do with you and be all over Daddy. Unfortunately, that is not right now. Just let N know that S does not hate him, and to just ride out the tide the best you can until she's on to the next phase. Hang in there both of you! Hope you get some rest today.

mrsoc

A had hiccups and they would always start when we he was lying on his back, whether of not elevated or not.  I slept with him on my chest as you described for a couple weeks, as it was the only way I and he would get any sleep.  I would pull the large ottoman up to put my feet on and put pillows on both sides of us.  Stuff I would never have done with baby #1, I did with Baby #2.  The thing that made the difference with us, after 5 weeks of me not getting any sleep, except this way, we started putting him on his belly, and he slept SO much better (now he is sleeping 11-12 hours a night).  We got the Angelcare monitor for peace of mind.  I got this advice from 2 of my friends with 4 kids, and I was willing to do anything.  

As far as the clinginess, we go in spurts, but the advice my DH was given from a wise friend, is that kids only have the ability to love, so this puts things into perpective.  Good luck and we are all there for you! 

olivia_eve

I hate the hiccups!!!! Thomas seems to get them after every feeding, and he gets fussy and spits up every time. They're so annoying. DH is really good at making them go away- he puts Thomas over his shoulder, gives him a pacifier and burps him firmly. It usually makes them go away pretty quickly. I'm sorry about Stella, this is just a phase. Rosie was in a huge mama phase until midway through my pregnancy, now she is in love with DH. Doesn't want me to do anything with her, she will sit there and tell me how much she misses him when he's at work, makes me write notes for him saying how much she loves him. I guarantee you it's a phase, hopefully she grows out of it soon! Hang in there!

kac0807

So sorry you had such a rough night! Makes me fear what my the arrival of our little one. As for the gripe water it is AMAZING....we never used it for hiccups but we used it for colic and any other upset tummy issues...which T seemed to have a lot of!

Hang in there! Hope things get better soon!

dle927

Claire goes through phases of who she "prefers" for whatever moment.  She sometimes chooses who puts her to bed and halfway through, decides she wants the other parent.  We honestly just roll with it.  Tell your DH that she doesn't hate him and she's just being clingy because things are changing for her.  DON"T FEEL BAD!  That's the last thing you need on top of everything else going on.

And I hear you on survival mode.  It will get better.  I think all of us have done things that we thought we wouldn't just to make the transistion a bit easier. 

I asked the dr. what to do about hiccups when Claire had them all the time and she told me nothing can be done.  It doesn't hurt them and is more annoying for us.  Having said that, we've used Gripe Water and if it's on your list of things to try, do it!  It can't hurt!

Hang in there!

MrsRichardson915

So sorry you had a rough night, but as you can see we've all been there at some point so don't feel alone in this!

Molly had a lot of hiccups in the beginning, we never tried Gripe Water but I just tried to relax her as much as possible with either rocking, massage or singing. I found that if I got her completely relaxed, they would go away a bit faster. And I let both girls sleep on my chest when they were having rough nights. They just want that comfort and if that is what works, so be it! Do what works for you!

As far as S with your DH...like everyone said it is a phase. Chelsea has gone through this multiple times, bouncing back and forth between me and DH like a ball. She is currently in a very long Daddy phase (unless she gets hurt, then she wants me lol). This, like all other things with our LOs, will pass! Tell your  DH to just keep trying and she will eventually come around.

goosh24

Aw, I'm sorry Tina!  This is something that I am fully anticipating and not looking forward to (both of these things).  Jules is the same way with my DH and a lot of it is because she sees me 24/7 and he has been at work and then at practice/games until 8 or later every night this week but last night.  I get the "she doesn't like me" line and in a way I think he needs to make more of an effort to do things with her too since she's sooo used to me.  I think everyone's suggestions are good about spending some time with just Stella this weekend if possible, maybe when your family comes on Sunday. 

sunnygirl05

I'm sorry!  I never used gripe water so I'm not sure.  I wanted to say though that I understand about the clingyness(sp?) with one parent.  My boys are all about their mama lately.  Luckily my dh doesn't take offense.  Although I get irritated that they always want me to do everything, I think I would cry if they just wanted their Daddy.

BelhurstBride

ArcticFox:

Kids go through phases.  You're going through a rough time, honestly your DH just needs to suck it up right now and just help you take care of the kids.  Your DD is probably clingy because she sees you giving the baby so much attention and she wants that.. and whatever it is, it will pass..  I was basically on my own when I had baby #2, and not to sound harsh, but if my DH was moping around or being in a bad mood, it doesn't help anyone.

I agree completely. (On why Stella's being clingy and telling DH to suck it up!)

My Stella had horrible hiccups as a newborn. We tried gripe water but really didn't notice an improvement. We just had to ride it out until she out grew them.

I know it's an UO on this board, but have you considered bedsharing? It's the only way any of us got any sleep when Stella was little. And contrary to popular belief she outgrew that need just fine and :gasp: sleeps on her own in her crib. Newborns are used to being with you 24/7; some just hang on to that need longer than others.

I don't know if it'd help with Stella, but I've found that my Stella is old enough understand a lot these days. When she gets super clingy to me and won't play with DH I tell her that Mommy needs her alone time and while I understand that she wants to stay with me Daddy really wants to have some fun with her. Shockingly it works every time.