Update on me (Kind of long)

bostonbluejay

Okay, first things first...WTF is going on here this afternoon? 

For those who haven't completely lost their minds, I just thought I would give a quick update on me since my post letting you guys know I'd be coming back to this board was pretty void of information. 

I got my first faint BFP on an IC late at night 10dpo.  I couldn't get into the doctor for betas until Tuesday, which was 13dpo.  By Tuesday my line had gotten absolutely NO darker and actually seemed to have gotten a little lighter.  I know HPT's are not quantitative, but this also wasn't my first rodeo and I knew it wasn't looking any better than my two previous pregnancies. 

I got my blood drawn on Tuesday and Wednesdsay the nurse called me back to let me know my beta was three.  I have to say, I was slightly shocked at that number because I was still getting two pink lines on HPTs, albeit a faint second line.  Definitely a chemical pregnancy.  This pregnancy was different in that I could not get a + on a digital, but I was getting a positive on IC's and FRER. 

Three losses in six months is...well, I'm just dealing with a lot of feelings/emotions right now and I need a break.  I cannot endure anymore blood draws or tests or doctors appointments right now.  We have decided to take a break from TTC.  Right now, I think we are planning on a six month break.  Then, I will get my referral to an RE and see about trying again.  It all totally sucks, but I am really at peace with this decision right now.  This year has just been one magnificient dissapointment after another and  I think this is exactly what we need.

I will still be around here, you can't get rid of me that easily! 

Also, I just wanted to say that I really, really appreciate all the support you guys have given me through these losses. 

   

 

jp0129

I am so sorry for what you are going through

::hugs::

 

mlynb

This breaks my heart. I'm so sorry. I'm glad to hear you are at peace with it. I wish you the best.

megemoney

BBJ, I am sure your decision wasn't an easy one, but I am glad that you are at peace with it.    I will keep you in my prayers. 

I am glad you are sticking around!  I love your Joey siggy, and the rest of your Friends PIPs!

closure17

I'm sorry BBJ. I'm glad you'll be around still though. I enjoy you and your posts. *hugs*

TAGSL710

I am so so so very sorry.

btaylor19

.   I hate that you have reached this point, but I really hope that time off helps. 

siple1am

I you BBJ and you know you can talk to me whenever. I hope you enjoy your break of TTC, and I am glad you will still post!

brookelynpaisley

I'm so sorry, BBJ. Love you mucho!

tayray1

I'm so very sorry you're going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and YH..

tennisanddance

I am sorry to hear this. T&P's will be sent your way.

kelnyc

That's just awful and no one should have to go through so much heartache in such a short amount of time. You sound like you are handling things as well as can be and I am glad that you are looking at the break in a positive light. GL!

bostonbluejay

LGLDVM:

btaylor19:

.   I hate that you have reached this point, but I really hope that time off helps. 

I couldn't have posted a better reply.  Thinking about you, BBJ.  (((((hugs)))))

What the frack!?!?!!?  How did I miss that you were having twins??  My brain feels all scrambly lately, but I don't think I knew this!  A million congrats to you LGL!  That is so exciting, and I am so happy for you love!

Shayliz

I'm sorry you are going through this but I'm glad you'll still be around here.  Hopefully the break will be all you hope it is and you'll have a refreshed feeling at the end and ready to go with the RE.

happilyeverafterxo

So sorry you are dealing with all of this hun. Hugs, love, thoughts, and prayers to you

bostonbluejay

LGLDVM:

bostonbluejay:

What the frack!?!?!!?  How did I miss that you were having twins??  My brain feels all scrambly lately, but I don't think I knew this!  A million congrats to you LGL!  That is so exciting, and I am so happy for you love!

Aww, thanks

How's your pupster doing?

Better!  Thanks for asking!  I followed up with my regular vet and we are continuing the bland diet for a few days to see if that takes care of it.  If he continues to have any issues or is not 100% by the end of the week, she will check him more thoroughly to see if there is something else going on.   

IDreamInPink

So incredibly sorry to hear about all the disappointments and hard decisions you have been going through this year. I think the most important thing is that you're at peace with your decision to take a break! Will keep you in heart and prayer, and hope this break does great things for you!

bostonbluejay

Thanks everyone. 

Btay, I heart you like whoa for that PIP.

Also, thank you guys for supporting my decision to stick around here...but I'm not sure how that will work now since this board is on a HIATUS!!!  Darn.

pinkmickey24

My thoughts and prayers are with you BBJ and your DH. I hope that this break is what you both need and that you will come back to TTC refreshed. Wishing you all of the best!

EllaBelle2010

Hi there, I know you don't know me but I've lurked for a long time, and just wanted to send warm wishes to you and your DH.

peloquinJ

I hope you find clarity and peace during your break. I also hope that you and your RE put together a good plan when you are ready.

GermanGirl2007

I am so sorry for what you are going through. That is devestating. I am glad that you have had some time to process and are at peace with your decision to take a break from TTC.  I wish you all the best. <HUGS>

hsm

I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with. T&P!

Oem617

I am glad you are at peace with your decision. Again I am so sorry for all that you have been through.

Mrs.Slick

((hugs))

FreyaWin2382

You are a strong woman, who is going through a lot. I am sorry you are having to do all of this. Hugs and prayers!

kcblues97

So sorry that you have had to deal with all this.  Hopefully this break will refresh you and give you some time to heal. You are in my T &P, and I pray that when you guys start TTC again, you will get your take home baby! <hugs>

shellb1978

I am so sorry about your losses and everything you have been through.  I want to wish you the best with everything.

johnson617

BBJ, I'm so sorry about your losses. I hope the break gives you and YH so much needed relaxation!!

melissa721

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm glad you're confident about your decision though. I hope you get your sticky baby sooner rather than later. I'm always pulling for you, love.

ncgirlgoingtori

I'm so sorry bbj.  I hope that you have a relaxing break and that you get your take home baby soon!

AnoraStar

I am so sorry, BBJ. You are an amazing person and I hate when bad things happen to good people. I hope the break is just want you need, and you come back feeling excited and refreshed and get a sticky baby soon.

mrsj0423

So sorry you have to go through this again!  It must be so hard.  Well, we are all here for you.  Hope you feel better!

workingmama

So sad to hear this.  I am going through a loss right now, too, and it sucks.  ::hugs::  Shoot me a PM if you want to chat.

ukcats27

((hugs))

almostapearl

I'm so sorry you're going through this hun, my heart breaks for you. I'm glad that you're at peace with the next step in your journey. I hope that you find answers to what's going on. ((big hugs))

katyms7

I am so sorry. You and your DH will be in my thoughts and prayers. ::hugs::

Kathy4678

BBJ- I'm sending you the most squishy ehugs ever. Lurve you.

Buona Fortuna

I am so sorry to hear that. 

bwe1100

Thank you for giving us an update, BBJ. I'm glad you and YH are working on a plan to find the best way to move forward in this difficult time, and I really, really hope the break is a healing, happy time for you both. And selfishly, I'm so glad you'll still be around the board.

(((huge hugs)))

psychgirl33

I you, BBJ!  I'm so sorry for all that you have gone through.  Big, big hugs and hopes for your take home baby as soon as you are ready to start trying again!!