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Back to work for 2 1/2 months and still not in my groove
I just can't seem to concentrate at work anymore. I have a lot of independence in my job and motivation is lacking, to say the least. I don't really blame anyone but myself but I can't stop thinking about DD, what she's doing, and counting down the hours until I can leave to go pick her up from DC. This week has been tough because she's been crabby in the evenings and I can't seem to get any fun time with her because I'm trying to make dinner, feed her and put her to bed (DH comes home from work late) and I feel so unfulfilled at the end of the day. I don't know if this is temporary but I would give anything to be a SAHM and have DD on my own schedule and get to see her smiling face all day instead of just for a few hours at the beginning and end of the day. Anyway, I'm just venting and maybe tomorrow will be better. I've always been pretty career-oriented and I didn't really think I would want to SAH so I'm very confused right now. I'm thinking the sleep deprivation isn't helping. I'm sure I'm not alone so thanks for listening.
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Re: Back to work for 2 1/2 months and still not in my groove
Sleep deprivation makes being a working mom suck! I remember when DS was up 4,5,10 billion times a night and I would dread the evenings because I knew what was coming.
That really stinks that you don't have DH around in the evenings. I would recommend taking it easy on yourself. Stick to simple uncomplicated dinners. Put off cleaning projects, etc until the weekends or after DD goes to bed.
Is this a permanent thing? Is there going to be a time when DH has an earlier schedule?
Off to the beach
DS 7/18/2010
Handy 2.0 Due Early August
2011/2012 Races
12/17/2011 Christmas Caper 10K
2/11/2012 Have a Heart 5K
3/17/2012 DC RNR Half Marathon
4/22/2012 10M Parkway Classic
10/28/2012 Marine Corps Marathon
ETA: If you don't already have a house cleaner, I highly recommend getting one if you can afford it. I'm all about outsourcing so I can spend more time doing the really important things (like spending time with my kid, working, and sleeping).
Definitely been there - twice in fact! The thing that helps me is to be super organized. We have a house cleaner and I spend a few hours on Sunday morning making dinners for the week. I can usually whip up 2 or 3 meals (with enough for leftovers) in 2-4 hours (this includes nursing an almost 1-year old, putting her down for a nap, having a three-year old "helping", etc.). I make enough to last the week, with only a few items to make on the day of (rice, pasta, etc.). I would love to cook every night, but this is much less stress and if I have to work late one evening, my DH can get dinner together easily. When I get home with the girls I basically just heat things up and I can play with them instead of focusing on getting a meal together from start to finish. Also, as PP said, once you stop pumping, life flows a little better. Less interruptions in your day make it easier to concentrate. Hang in there!
I don't think anyone ever knows if they truly want to stay home until the baby is here. I thought I would be a great SAHM until Maggie arrived and I realized I would be a great SAHM for school age kids, not babies. It is always worth looking into after things settle down a bit.
I would also attribute the sleep deprivation with the lack of motivation. It is so hard to concentrate when you are not getting uninterrupted sleep daily. I don;t think I was uber productive those first months back.
Can you make your dinner after DD is in bed? Cut yourself some slack too and try and make easy meals with lots of leftovers (pasta with sauce is great since you can double the sauce and freeze half). I remember when Maggie was little and I would leave work early all the time to go get her and how crazy the nights were when she was going to bed so early. It does get better (hugs).
it's only been a couple of months, as pp said it takes longer to get back into the groove of things. DD did not STTN until 10mo and DS - 14!! Although last night he was up 10pm-3am and I was so tired at work today. It does get easier and more manageable as they get older.
Thanks everyone for listening to me whine and commiserating. I had a long talk with DCP yesterday morning about DD's schedule at daycare and we agreed to change a couple feeding times and letting her get a later nap in before I pick her up and it worked really well yesterday! She was in a great mood last night, ate well and went to bed like a champ and slept until 5am! No Miss Crankypants! I got 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and I seriously feel like a new woman today. I have no idea what's in store for tonight but hopefully this new schedule will help make our evenings a little easier. FWIW, I did not cook dinner last night and heated up some leftovers for DH and I. I told DH that was the Bumpies' suggestion...
Tonight I have an easy meal to make so it should be better. I will also start thinking about making more meals on the weekends for during the week. Thanks again!
So glad you had a good night.
Sleep deprivation makes me totally bananas. When I'm tired I question every choice I've ever made - should I be working? should we be living in this area? should I let my kids drink chocolate milk? should I call my brother more often? should I grow my hair out?
It took me until about 6 months with both my girls to feel like I was in any kind of groove. With DS it took longer - 9 months probably.
Hugs to you!
Ha ha, this made me laugh out loud. It's so true. Yesterday at work (when I should've been, um, working) I was looking at pictures of hairstyles thinking I wanted to chop all my hair off. I was questioning why I even started BFing, why I can't live closer to my mom, etc. I was a mess. Today I'm thinking I can work out and cook a gourmet meal (yeah, right). It's amazing what one night of good sleep will do for your motivation.