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March 2012 Moms
CBLorson
member
Anyone else feel like the romance has died?
CBLorson
member
My husband and I used to be so crazy about each other. We would go on dates have candlelit steak dinners or movie nights. TMI - we would make love anywhere we desired in our house. Now that we are pregnant we are doing good to kiss when he gets home from work. Today its really bothering me that the romance is fizzling out. Before you know it the baby will be here and it's only going to get worse. I want this baby more than anything but I still want the love/romance we once had as well. Anyone else feeling the same?
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Re: Anyone else feel like the romance has died?
I had this talk with my DH last night. I think that everything has died except for him cooking dinner. He likes to eat late and I just can't wait that long so now i even feel like I am eating dinner alone.
Married: 1/2008 ~ DD#1: 3/2012
TTC #2: Started 4/2014 BFP 7/30/15 MC 8/3/15 BFP 9/4/2015 EDD 5/16/2016
BFP #1 12/30/10 ** EDD: 9/6/11** H/B stopped at 10w 6d conf on 2/22/11 ** D&C 2/24/11.
Congrats to my Labor Buddy LoriJ11, baby Elise born 2/24/12
Our romance died about 2 years ago when I got pregnant with DS. Romance went down hill and then when DS came, we became sleep deprived, focused on caring for our new child. Romance came back a little when DS hit one year (hence, how I got pregnant with #2) and now that I'm pregnant again, it's gone again. I've been tired because of work and pregnancy and DH is picking up the slack with DS and his job. DS fell asleep early at 7:30 on Saturday and for the first time in a reallly long time, DH and I watched a movie on HBO, cuddled and ate ice cream. That was a flicker of romance.
Really, we need to work on it more...it should be more of a focus, to keep a happy marriage. Good Luck, but you aren't alone.
Our life is pathetic right now. We are not allowed to have sex, have not been allowed since mid-August. I went from being a very active person to being allowed to walk or swim only. The stress and anxiety of the pregnancy from about 8-12 weeks has most definitely put a damper on our romantic life.
Sadly, our one year anniversary was on the 5th and we barely did anything to celebrate
It can be difficult. When you're pregnant, either you have no drive/tired as hell or H is scared because he'll 'hurt the baby.' Then when you have a newborn, both of you are too exhausted. You just have to try and do what you can in other ways to be intimate... snuggle during a movie, go out to eat somewhere that holds good memories, etc. It doesn't have to be about sex.
I had a hard time getting my sex drive back after Lucian was born... H got fed up with it and told me he NEEDS it to feel like we still have a marital relationship. When Lucian was sleeping more (as in, at least 6-7 hour stretches), I felt human enough to bother shaving daily again and attempt a sex life. As of now, I don't anticipate feeling like I did pre-babies until DS2 is at least six months old, sadly.
I am in the same boat. We were fine until I got pregnant. Having had two prior m/c naturally I was afraid to do anything even though we did a couple times and everything was fine. I honestly was just not in the mood and I am still not! This whole second trimester sex drive coming back thing has not happened for me yet! Plus by the time we both get home, have dinner and relax I am tired and ready for bed and DH is to busy watching sports all night.
I am ready to get out of this rut we are in just not sure how....
Tell me about it, I really hope things pick up in the second tri my poor DH has tried multiple times but I just can't do it. I feel really bad for him
Please let me know if you figure it out!
Haha will do!
I feel like romance ebbs and flows in a relationship. This is one of those times where you have a lot going on.
If you want more romance, then do something about it. I firmly believe that it doesn't need to be the man who has to bring the romance. Make a candlelit dinner tonight. Throw on something sexy to surprise him when he gets home. Sometimes you need to fake it until you make it.
I am planning a big, romantic getaway for the two of us. He doesn't know anything about it. All he knows is that he needs to take off that Friday and Monday. Beyond that, I am planning ALL of the romance. There is something very rewarding about knowing that I am doing this for him and for us. I am so very excited about it, and he feels very given to that I would want to do this for him and us.
Please do understand that is it normal to go through times where you just don't get it on as much. As long as the desire is still there for both of you, I wouldn't worry. My DH and I make it known that we do want each other, but I am still not physically able. I am truly exhausted at the end of the day. This means that he is doing more around the house as well. He is more exhausted these days as well. We know we'll rebound, so we don't worry.
Also, romance can start to take on new meanings. I seriously think it is ridiculously sexy when my husband does the dishes and cleans the entire kitchen. I find romance in going to the Farmers' Market as a family. There is something so heart warming to see my husband with our son on his back as we walk through the crowds and try different fruits/veggies together. We also make a point to hold hands when we are out. Whenever I see old couples holding hands, I think that is the ultimate romance. Being 80 years old, still going through life together, holding hands is so very romantic to me.
Update!
I realized I was just having a very hormonal day today. Feeling much better now. I came straight home from work and rode around in the tractor for 2 hours with hubby. It was the best decision I made. We kissed and laughed and talked and I held on to him nice and tight. It was perfect. Now we are eating pizza with our dogs watching our favorite show and life is sweet. Thanks for all the comments ladies. You all help me so much everyday!